Are You an OCG?
Posted November 9th, 2007 by George Promenschenkel
12 steps aren't enough to treat this addiction. This one takes 18 holes, at least.
I've always had a little touch of Monk to me. But when it comes to golf, I have to admit I'm more than a little touched.
Here's what I mean. After returning home from a recent golf trip during which I played seven rounds in four days, I went to the range. I currently subscribe to not one but four print golf publications (in my defense, one is a free regional publication). I read several golf sites, listen to podcasts, and, oh yes, write about golf.
I also like to play the occasional round. And by "occasional," I mean as frequently as possible. I don't skip work to play, but I do play on about 75% of my vacation days. I also squeeze in at least one round on 40+ weekends in an average year (in Central Ohio).
But I'm not totally one dimensional. I do have other interests. I can discuss many other subjects: maybe identify a few birds or trees outside, speculate on which desperate housewife is truly most desperate, and even put forth my own theory that Monty Python and the Holy Grail is a clever spoof of the history of the English language (How else do you explain the French soldiers?). But give me an opening to talk golf, and I'll be much happier.
Chances are, as a reader of The Sand Trap, you share at least some degree of this illness: a love for the trajectory of a well-struck golf shot; an appreciation of a good oil-can finish on a milled carbon-steel putter; an affinity for the subtleties of a well-designed golf course. As I tell my wife all the time, there are much worse obsessions to have.
Think you might be an OCG (Obsessive-Compulsive Golfer)? Take this quick quiz to find out. If you answer yes to any of the following, you have at least a touch of the OCG. If you answer yes to all of them, Congratulations! You're a Level Five OCG. Welcome to the club!
Number Five: When You're not Golfing, is Your Mind Still on Golf?
How much time do you devote to golf when you're not golfing?
Is Golf Channel set as a favorite channel on your TV? Do you visit The Sand Trap or other golf sites more than three times per week? Per day? Do you find yourself visiting golf shops just for the heck of it?
If you engage in golf activities away from the course or range more than twice a week, you are at least a tad golf obsessed. And if your idea of a great day is playing golf and then sitting in the clubhouse and watching the pros play golf and then heading back out for a quick nine before dark… well, you just might be OCG!
Number Four: Do You Make Rational Buying Decisions About Golf Equipment?
Or do you rationalize your purchases?
Do you make rational decisions? Like, "My 1978 Hogan blades have had a nice run, but I could get a lot more forgiveness with some modern cavity backs."
Or do you rationalize decisions? As in, "I really need more height out of my sand wedge, so I'll trade in my year-old 55° for that brand new spin-milled 56° I've been checking out for the past week." Or, "You know, I just can't seem to hit a consistent fade with my year-old driver. So I think I'll buy a new one." (OK, that actually turned out to be a pretty good move for me. I still miss fairways, but now I miss them by a lot less.)
Number Three: Is Your Over/Under Differential Above 50?
What's your over/under for a round of golf? That is, how large is the range of temperatures in which you'll tee it up?
Some of us who have the sickness worse than others will track our record over/unders. Mine is about 105/28. The hottest weather I ever played in was about 105° in Las Vegas (it's a dry heat), and the lowest was 28° here in Ohio. So, my all time Over/Under Differential is 77 (105-28).
That's well above 50, but as I've said before I honestly think that playing golf during the winter is kind of fun. And when else can you have an entire course virtually to yourself? I've played some very enjoyable three-hour rounds on nearly frozen and deserted golf courses. But I've also played during the summer in the low country Carolinas when it's so hot and humid it's hard to breathe, and I've yet to experience weather so hot I wouldn't at least take a cart out and play. I admit, I'm a bit in the extreme in this aspect.
Number Two: Do Your 14 = 20 or Less?
Add up the length of time each of your current 14 clubs have been in your bag. Does it add up to 20 years or less? If so, you're OCG, my friend.
Sure 20 years seems like a long run, but consider the irons. You probably carry seven or eight. Multiply that number by the length of time they've been in the bag. It adds up fast.
My irons have been in my bag the longest of all my clubs… a mere two years. So the six irons (5-PW) I'm currently carrying add up to 12 years. After that, I have had one of my hybrids for a year and the other is eight months. My putter has reached the relatively ripe old age for flat sticks in my bag: seven months old. My wedges are about six, six, and four months old. My 3-wood is five months old. And my driver is the youngster in my bag with a mere two months of service. So that's about 17 years for my 14. (Man, I'm a sick puppy. I hope my wife doesn't read this one!)
Still, I know of people who will buy multiple putters in a year and even a couple full sets. So I don't feel too bad. And next year, my irons will push me over 20 years easily. Of course, I am starting to eye some of the new offerings. ("Maybe I'll hit the MP-57s higher," or, "Gee those forged Srixon's look nice.")
Number One: Are You a Norm?
Remember when Norm walked into the bar on Cheers and everyone shouted, "Norm!"? Well, if you can walk into more than one golf shop in your town and at least one person working there knows your name, then your OCG name is now, "Norm."
I can see the episode now…
Woody: "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
Norm: "Up and up, Woody… my weight and my golf scores!"
Feedback
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Posted 09 Nov 2007 at 10:59am #
Fantastic article, George, loved it. I am definitely OCG. The equipment count nailed me...you have to make it fractional years (no rounding up). The over/under is easy, living in Texas all those years.
Great stuff.
Posted 09 Nov 2007 at 12:55pm #
According to your criteria, I dont qualify as an OCG. The feeling that the worst is yet to arrive worries me even more.
Posted 09 Nov 2007 at 3:29pm #
Posted 09 Nov 2007 at 7:38pm #
How about opening your trunk on your lunch break to look at your clubs???
Posted 09 Nov 2007 at 7:44pm #
What a great article. Lots of humor. Too bad my wife did not find it funny. Uhm...the line was "You people are sick."
Posted 09 Nov 2007 at 7:48pm #
I have no idea about the temperatures, but I played in Palm Desert this past summer, willingly. Eagerly. But I haven't owned clubs long enough for the sum of 14 to be 20, so I'll give myself a pass on that one.
But the rest? Yes, OCG.
Posted 10 Nov 2007 at 4:17am #
Great article! This is why I log onto The Sand Trap most days of the week.....
Maybe there is Number Six; Do you make your 4 and 2 year old sons watch the golf replays stored on the PVR instead of The Wiggles or Sesame Street? And have they been propped in front of the Masters, US open and British Open telecasts each of their formative years?
Absolutely OCG.
Posted 10 Nov 2007 at 7:50pm #
One more clear indicator:
Do you always know the weather forecast for the next day and the next 5 day period?
Posted 12 Nov 2007 at 9:18am #
I clean my clubs in the sink with soapy water, brushes, and will at times resort to picking dirt out of the stampings in the sole of the club if I'm feeling O-C enough.
And I'm not the type of golfer who lets his clubs get all dirty and caked up with grass and dirt during a round. I wipe the faces after almost every shot, like you see pro caddies do.
But then I _still_ wash them in the house afterwards, often.
My wife just laughs.
Posted 12 Nov 2007 at 1:35pm #
During the winter I go to my indoor driving range at least 3 days a week. Sometimes I don't even hit balls, I just go to the Pro Golf and hang out and try the new stuff. I LOVE the demo days!! free balls and new clubs
Posted 12 Nov 2007 at 10:26pm #
3 golf sites, consulted several times a day. Bought 7 or 8 sets of irons, maybe 6 drivers, and on my 5th set of wedges this year. Have done this for more than 7 years now. Visit the driving range 4-5 times a week. Golf shops no less than twice. Etc, etc.
I don't think about golf every day; I think about golf most of every day.
I do have a putter I've kept about 4 years. Nothing else comes close.
Posted 15 Nov 2007 at 9:55am #
[...] warms up? I'll do the dishes all winter. FootnotesNote to George Promenschenkel and other fellow Obsessive Compulsive Golfers: I use Goo Gone to clean labels off golf shafts. I absolutely detest using a club that has tags and [...]
Posted 15 Nov 2007 at 10:27pm #
beautifully written. guilty on everything. not sure what my temp differential is, but for christmas i am asking for a propane heater you can put in the cup holder in a golf cart and a plastic curtain to put over the cart to keep it warm. so i am going LOW this winter.... as for magazines - golf digest (includes golf digest index), golf magazine, travel & leisure golf, golf connoisseur, nicklaus (although it may have expired/ceased operations since i haven't gotten one in months; it was a seasonal periodical), golf illustrated (sucks, but i get it even though i've never paid a dime), golf world. i travel a lot and these magazines are always prioritized over the kiplinger, money, smart money, rolling stone and sports illustrateds that i also get....ocg indeed.
Posted 16 Nov 2007 at 9:45am #
[...] Hole Nine: What Else Would You Watch? The original Skins Game has spawned a Champions Tour version and a host of other imitators. But none seem to have the legs that the Skins Game once enjoyed. So what golf event would I put in place of it? The PGA Tour's Q-School would provide more drama for diehard golf fans (plus, we could all be thankful that we're not playing under that kind of stress). This year, the final stage tees off the Wednesday after Thanksgiving (Nov. 28) and concludes on the following Monday (Dec. 3). But what if it started on the Tuesday before Turkey Day and concluded on Sunday? That would give people four days of coverage for the drama to build. Still, playing for admission to the PGA Tour, while a life-changing event for players, just doesn't grap the average viewer's attention. But a huge pile of cash just might. What if you get a bunch of hustlers to put up their own money, play "Gamblers' Rules" and compete for a million dollars a hole? That just might be kind of interesting to watch. Too bad they buried the event in the usual Texas Hold'em time slots. I completely missed it, despite being a Level 5 OCG. [...]
Posted 18 Nov 2007 at 9:17am #
JP Bouffard said on November 12, 2007:
This guy has got it right, and bad. I think this would have been a better criterion for OCG than your "14=20 or less." Frankly speaking, all that category shows is that a guy has money and has to have all the new stuff. It doesn't necessarily qualify him as a golf nut.
My irons are 5 years old and are due to be replaced. According to this criteria, I currently don't qualify but when I get my new set, I qualify. But after 3 years, I'm safe to be around again? BTW I picked up a set 2 years ago but because I'm not comfortable playing with them, I switched back to my old set and just kept that set for guests. I also have 4 drivers, 2 3 woods, a 5 wood, 2 hybrids, 5 wedges and 5 putters to go along with my 2 iron sets. I'm not really that picky when it comes to wedges.
I think you messed up number 4. Making rational buying decisions isn't OCG. Rationalizing them is. You highlighted the wrong portion.
As for the rest, well considering I'm posting a reply to this thread, I think I pretty much qualify for the 5th. I don't even bother rationalizing my golf purchases. The fact that its for golf is good enough for me. All golf related equipment and merchandise.
I live in a tropical country so qualifying for the over/under is kinda tricky since we don't get extreme heat or cold here, but I have played in a bloody typhoon. If you don't know what that is, think ... hurricane. Finally, the club pro and pro shop operator of one of the local clubs not only knows me by name, but also has my number so he can call me when he gets new stuff. And I'm not even a member of that club.
Overall a highly entertaining topic and well written. May your drives find the short grass, your irons find the green and your putts find the hole
Posted 19 May 2008 at 11:24am #
[...] to color-coordinate everything in and on the bag). These people form their own subgroup of the OCG afflicted. There are two kinds of people who play a whole bag of same brand: those who have found everything [...]
Posted 03 Oct 2008 (2 weeks ago) at 11:35am #
[...] together, and so on. He organizes his closet by color and all the hangers must face the same way. Sounds a little OCG to [...]
Posted 14 Oct 2008 (2 days ago) at 9:12am #
... great article (I feel ashamed that I knodded in agreement throughout most of the article.)
I use to be able to count the number of years I've been playing golf but the number of iron sets I've had (i've been playing for 10 yrs so far). Luckily my last 2 sets have lasted about 2 yrs now. I think I'm slowly getting cured ................