I switched to graphite and can really tell the difference - less of a backache after a round of golf.
Which shaft is best? That's opening a real can of worms for club junkies.
Maybe the better question is what shaft weight are you most comfortable with. You can get them from 50g to 100g.
For hitting off the deck, try a 3W that has a low profile face. That was the concept behind the original Adams tight lies woods. The tradeoff is that the low profile face woods have a smaller hitting area when used on the tee.