Has anyone been told you're not good enough?

[Harry SasQuatch]

I'm newly registered here but have browsed for some time. I tried multiple times to register so I could post in 804 golfer's "Opinions on my potential" thread since I have played the course he claims to be a pro at. By the way, the yardages at the VT course make you feel good about yourself if you know what I mean. Anyway I just got back into golf seriously this year after playing only a handful of times a year the past ten since high school. My game isn't totally back yet and I struggle with consistency at this point and have had a hard time breaking 90 at the course I joined. Last weekend I went out to play with a competitive group of ten guys or so who play every Saturday morning (since I love to compete even if I know I have work to do) and had a good time losing fifteen bucks. They all seemed like great guys who liked to compete as much as I do so I enjoyed playing. I shot a 90 (42-48) from the tips on a really chilly and windy day which by no means was good but it's my fourth round of the year and I'm just starting to get serious again. When I got home I sent an e-mail to the organizer of the group thanking him for the opportunity and letting him know I would love to play again. I hadn't heard anything back until I got a call yesterday from another guy in the group telling me the other guys really want to keep the group to a ten or less handicap rule. Basically they told me that I wasn't good enough to play with them after one round (I didn't come in last by the way) just judging me by my one round on a blustery day and my handicap. The guy who called was just the messenger but figured I should hear it over the phone instead of getting the cold shoulder. He didn't agree with the other guys and I respect him for at least letting me know. This is all foreign territory for me since I never had this problem when I played a lot. I was as respectful, friendly, and well-mannered as I could be. I know I will get better with a little more time on the course, it's just odd to me that some people can be like that. I understand it happens a lot at private clubs like the one I belong to but is this a common occurrence? It does provide me with a lot of motivation to beat them!

[Mr3Putt]

I hadn't heard anything back until I got a call yesterday from another guy in the group telling me the other guys really want to keep the group to a ten or less handicap rule.

Man your post ticked me off! These guys sound like arrogant putzes. "Ten or less handicap rule". Do they even know why freaking handicaps exist?? Sounds to me like your better off without these knuckleheads. Work on your game and then go back and kick their asses. There are oodles of golfer with the same love of the game and enthusiasm as you. They're easy to find. Don't judge your experience by these morons

[65withatriple]

Ive never told anyone they werent good enough, especially while gambling!!!

[Phaebes]

I agree with Mr3Putt.

One of the best things about golf is the camaraderie. Forget about those guys. Start your own playing group with the friends you will make over the course of the new season.

[Three Putt]

Ive never told anyone they werent good enough, especially while gambling!!!

Took the words out of my mouth, you are welcome to play with my league group anytime.

I usually do well in the golf part of our league, but suck at the card game afterward. I think they let me win once ever 4 weeks to keep me around for the cards, never told me I suck though....it's more like "Good hand, I would have played it the same way" ...blah, blah, blah.

[Harry SasQuatch]

Ive never told anyone they werent good enough, especially while gambling!!!

Tell me about it, in my glory days (if I'm even old enough to have glory days) I'd take people's money as long as they wanted to bet. I never wanted to take advantage of anyone but if they insisted on playing for money I would never turn that down. Not that I could tell by one blustery day but I doubt most of these guys had a legit handicap anyway. I know how a lot of people at private courses like to look good on the handicap sheets, but I hope to have the last laugh after this weekend's member-member using a handicap scoring system.

If this clique wants to feel threatened by me or whatever they think it's fine, I just didn't see it at this club since everyone else I have met has gone out of their way to be friendly. From my former days of playing I understand that 95% of everyone on the course are friendly and willing to play with pretty much anyone as long as they respect the rules and etiquette of golf.

[PiKapp23]

While I do not agree with these guys saying you're not good enough because you're not a 10 handicap or less, I have to admit I understand why they might feel that way. Many golfers do not like to play with someone they feel is a 'hack' because they feel it throws them off their game or will slow them down. In some cases this is even true. Personally, I am a very patient golfer and do not mind playing with anyone, no matter their handicap. Often times I do not want to play with some good players but that's more because of their attitudes than their play. I play with one guy that is about a 4-5 handicap and one of my other friends is probably closer to 100 handicap than a 4 (he's pretty bad). The good player became frustrated almost immediately and started playing poorly - much worse than I've ever seen him play. He was so frustrated at the slow pace of play (as we were looking for balls in trees and the lesser player was often hitting 3rd or 4th shots before we even reached our balls) that he quit at the turn (he did call me later to apologize and explain).

For me, pace of play or how good someone is doesn't cause me to pass judgement - as long as they enjoy playing I enjoy playing with them. The people I do not like are those that angry and throw/break clubs or scream out long strings of obscenities that can't even be said on cable.

The whole point of this is that the people may not have said no to you because they didn't like you but rather because they don't feel comfortable playing with people that are under a certain level, which affects their own level of play and in turn their fun. Based on your handicap I wouldn't think you would be at a level that would cause this, but if you played badly when you were with them the first time they may have been under the impression you were worse than you really are.

[cougar2588]

wow i woulda been pissed if i was in ur position. but it would make me wanna get out on the range/course even more to get better then them and then beat them before the end of the season.

last year was my first year golfing and i spent a lot of time golfing with my dad and his friends who all shoot low 80's, and one guy shoots in the mid to high 70's. NEVER once did they not want to bring me along because i wasnt as good as them. its funny cuz when u join a golf club, u expect there to be ppl in the club who actually have class....looks like u got together with the group of classless guys in the club.

[pjsnyc]

Since I mainly play public courses in the NYC metro area, this has never happened to me.

But there is one time someone told me I wasn't good enough and I'll never forget it. I was in 8th grade and as most NYers know, there's a high school entrance examination for the top public high schools in the city. That year at the parent teacher conference, my english teacher told my mother (in front of me) that I wasn't smart enough to get into any of the science schools. Sure enough - I got into Bronx Science. Only about 20 got into any of them in my graduating class. At graduation, I gave her the old 'how do you like them apples?' look and never looked back.

So yeah, take it in stride and spank them the next time they're up to playing with a 'lesser skilled' player.

[rjfan91]

I've been told this. But, I understood. Everyone else that played with this particular group was a 12 or lower. At the time, I was like a 22. They played a scratch/dot format. Any team I was on was at a disadvantage because, with freak exceptions, I couldn't score well enough to help. I understood and wasn't offended. I imagine if I could get back down to a 14 or 15 I might not upset them by playing. But, I'm not there yet...

I'm newly registered here but have browsed for some time. I tried multiple times to register so I could post in 804 golfer's "Opinions on my potential" thread since I have played the course he claims to be a pro at. By the way, the yardages at the VT course make you feel good about yourself if you know what I mean. Anyway I just got back into golf seriously this year after playing only a handful of times a year the past ten since high school. My game isn't totally back yet and I struggle with consistency at this point and have had a hard time breaking 90 at the course I joined. Last weekend I went out to play with a competitive group of ten guys or so who play every Saturday morning (since I love to compete even if I know I have work to do) and had a good time losing fifteen bucks. They all seemed like great guys who liked to compete as much as I do so I enjoyed playing. I shot a 90 (42-48) from the tips on a really chilly and windy day which by no means was good but it's my fourth round of the year and I'm just starting to get serious again. When I got home I sent an e-mail to the organizer of the group thanking him for the opportunity and letting him know I would love to play again. I hadn't heard anything back until I got a call yesterday from another guy in the group telling me the other guys really want to keep the group to a ten or less handicap rule. Basically they told me that I wasn't good enough to play with them after one round (I didn't come in last by the way) just judging me by my one round on a blustery day and my handicap. The guy who called was just the messenger but figured I should hear it over the phone instead of getting the cold shoulder. He didn't agree with the other guys and I respect him for at least letting me know. This is all foreign territory for me since I never had this problem when I played a lot. I was as respectful, friendly, and well-mannered as I could be. I know I will get better with a little more time on the course, it's just odd to me that some people can be like that. I understand it happens a lot at private clubs like the one I belong to but is this a common occurrence? It does provide me with a lot of motivation to beat them!

[pittpanther]

I shot a 90 (42-48) from the tips on a really chilly and windy day... Basically they told me that I wasn't good enough to play with them...

You played bogey gold, FROM THE BACK TEES, on a windy day, after a multi-year layoff, and that's not good enough???

I can't come up with a good argument for why they would drop you. Pace of play as an argument doesn't make sense - you're a bogey golfer. You're not hitting into the woods and dropping into the lake. I can only come up with two possibilities: 1. They just didn't like you. You're the new guy to the clique, without anyone to vouch for you. They just don't like your style. 2. They plan to compete against other teams, and really want top-notch players, not up-and-comers. And if this was the case, why didn't they tell you that you auditioning for a slot on the team? Either way, tell them to go f themselves.

[Dave]

They're just not that into you. Don't sweat it and find someone else to play with.

[Shorty]

If you can break 90 you aren't holding anybody up.
These guys don't deserve your company.

[Harry SasQuatch]

You played bogey gold, FROM THE BACK TEES, on a windy day, after a multi-year layoff, and that's not good enough???

That's the only way I see it. Not everyone likes everyone and I understand that but someone cared enough to call. I had one guy vouch for me (how I was introduced) but some of them were dogging on his slow play after he had left. He's also in his late 20's so we were the two young ones in the group but he is a 4 handicap so I guess he's OK.

Number two is a possibility as well but I don't think they will be competing against others and they aren't top-notch from what I witnessed. Back in my competitive junior days I saw lots of better players than them (including myself). I'll be glad to be nice every time I see them at the club, just what I have to do until I can beat them. I just know that failing to respond to my e-mail and trying to go about this the way they did (other than the guy who called me and the aforementioned guy who brought me in since he wouldn't tell me the news since he didn't agree) shows they have no balls.

[maycam10]

I've been told that many times. But i took it as motivation. It made me want to prove them wrong.

[GaijinGolfer]

I say move on and find somewhere else to play. If those guys want to act like a bunch of snobs, I say let 'em.
Find somewhere to play where the people are all about having fun and enjoying the game, not pretending that they are a bunch of golf pros.

[MiniMoe]

Ass hats like that give the game a bad name. So what if you are not a 10... and you did not finish last? I guess that 10 handicap who did finish last
had to lie just a little to get into the game. I will never not allow anyone to play in my game, or even my group. Anyone is welcome. Just be kind, don't bitch too much, have fun, and keep up the pace. I will not give advice or swing lessons unless you ask, and I promise we will have a good time. That is what I live by. If you are pretty good and want to put a few bucks on the game, I will give shots. If not.. that's ok to.

My advice... tell every one of the guys that are complaining that they are the reason golf gets a bad name. Your money is just as good as a scratch golfers', right?

Those jerks don't get the meaning of the game. May every tee shot of theirs be in the woods and they get the yips.

Work on your game a little, and take them to the cleaners.... no mercy

[HSip]

Just use it for motivation and perhaps someday they won't want you to play in their group because you'll kick their a**es. Sounds like a bunch of donkeys that aren't much fun anyways. Go git em!