Sharing clubs, when is the line crossed?

[Supermanwoot]

About a month ago I started really practicing hard for a tournament that was yesterday. This started out as a lot of range time. I invited my best friend to join me at the range a few times and he declined because 1) said he was no good and 2) doesn't have his own clubs. To which I answered: 1) how are you going to get better if you don't practice and 2) you can hit the clubs I'm not hitting while I'm at the range. So it was MY invite to use MY clubs at the range.

I have about 1.5 sets of clubs. the other set (my newbie clubs) is missing putter/sw/3,5 woods(I actually use the 3,5 woods still since I dont hit these clubs often anyway)/gap wedge/8-iron(lol), but even has a bag, however, I only carry the newer clubs around since toting 2 bags/clubs doesn't work so great since my car doesnt have a huge trunk, not much storage at home, etc.

So, as I have been putting in multiple (3-4) rounds of golf a week lately, he has been joining me or I've been playing with a friend of mine who is scratch and has his own clubs obviously. When he joins me I usually bring along my extra set of clubs BUT he doesn't like them as much so he mainly just uses mine.

I have been talking to him about getting his own clubs, but he says he really cant afford to be spending that much (my clubs are ~$1,000 lets say). So I say, I'll sell you those older clubs I have for $75 which includes irons, woods, and the bag I just cant include my putter, gap/sand wedges, and I lost the 8-iron. Now, these clubs are not terrible. They are REALLY good starter clubs, I mean I was lucky to get these as a gift. I hit them really long, but they aren't as consistent as my new irons and the driver is lacking some punch (400cc) but I can still hit it 270. Whenever I offer this he just says, nah I really cant be spending money, blah blah. But that is CHEAP compared to the greens fees we are spending so I get a little ticked at that excuse.

Just today I was at the range and he called me to as if we are gonna play tomorrow, I say yeah sure and he says, ok cool "I cant wait hit the Nikes some more." Like whoa now, I cant wait to hit the nikes seeing as I spent a lot of money on them.

So as I am writing this I am really torn as to what to say or how I should feel. I feel like I'm getting mooched off of despite having offered my old clubs, which would be perfect for him seeing as they are cheap and amazing compared to anything else that would be even $200 more.

Last time out I got serious because I didn't bring the other clubs and we shared a cart with just my clubs (I know, the course frowns upon people sharing clubs which bothered me). So I told him, "Man, you gotta get your own clubs and I have a sick offer or I'll just trade them in" (or I could give them to my brother as a gift cuz he is 18 and could use some clubs). To which he replied about how he really doesn't have money to spend on clubs and would have to get a putter and wedges and a driver. I said, well you don't need a driver that one is fine for starters (but he uses my sasquatch now, grrr so why would he want to switch).

The only times he ever plays or hits the range is with me since he doesn't have clubs so I feel like if I tell him he can't use my clubs anymore than he just wont play anymore, hurting our friendship and it would be nice for him to get into golf since its so addicting/frustrating.

What should I do guys?

[iPutt]

Give him a nice christmas present, maybe he'll get the hint

But really, you need to draw the line with him. Every once in awhile I'll get someone ask to try a club of mine for one or a few shots, but I never let it go farther than that (One random older man asked to try my Vokey 56* since I spun a ball back a few feet with it). Just tell him "Look man, I really like playing with you, but I can't have you using my clubs forever."

[2bGood]

Doesn't sounds like much of a friend. When I was in my 20's and one of our buddys acted like this we bug the hell out of him and there would be no sensativity about it. "Buy you own F'n clubs you cheap peice of sh*t" would have been said by now.

[kleraudio]

Yea dude, just tell him to buy you a couple rounds of golf and a beer after each round and you'll give him the clubs.....

That way he doesnt have to directly give you money, which is a lot easier when dealing with your good friends...

I mean, the guy is playing 3 times a week but doesnt have 50-75 bucks to buy your second hand clubs...?? Tell him to only play once this week and use the rest of the money to buy the clubs from ya....

I dont like sharing either, last time I let someone hit my driver, second shot, hit the hosel and cracked the head, 100 bucks down the drain......

How old are you anyways, if I may ask?

[zeg]

Honestly, the line is crossed when you tell him you'd rather he have his own clubs and he ignores/brushes it off. From that point on he's being an outright dick instead of just oblivious. Sounds to me like that point was crossed a long time ago.

[Supermanwoot]

We are both 22 so buying the beer after a round would be legal if thats what you were wondering ;)

I really don't want an incident like you described with your driver and I myself damaged a friends 7-iron when I hit a rock that was under some dirt and gave the bottom of the club a nice dent. I felt really bad, it was my first time playing, but the club was still very usable at least.

And he is a good friend, hes just dragging his feet about shelling out some cash to buy clubs since he isnt very good and would then have to get lessons, etc.

[Fat Slice]

Beggars can't be choosers. If he won't accept the gracious offer of your starter clubs, then let him find/buy/borrow clubs on his own. Your primary clubs are YOUR clubs - you shouldn't ever have to share them.

[Ty Haegs]

call me selfish, anal, or whatever but I can't stand sharing my clubs or anything else I own. Reason being is that I take great time and effort in keeping my stuff in meticulous shape... not to mention the money that is involved.

If I were in your shoes... I would rather just give him the extra set of clubs, than have him burrowing mine if he was my best friend. Just call it an early christmas present or something.

[Greg]

Give him a deal on your old clubs. If i had a nice expensive set of clubs I wouldnt want anyone else hitting them. If he being a bad golfer were to damage one of your new clubs, i doubt he would pay to replace it, I bet he would play real dumb then and say something like "I didnt know that would happen". If he wants a full set, he can buy a full set from walmart for $100 with a bag, they're excellent starter clubs as I just recently upgraded myself from them. If he doesnt have $100 to buy clubs, then he doesnt need to be playing golf, he needs to save his money until he can afford to play. Sounds like he just wants to use your clubs because they're free to him. Ive learned the hard way that some friends will mooch off you because they're your friend and can talk you into it, ive learned to say no. Maybe go with him sometime to help him pick out a set of clubs he can afford or help him find a set on ebay or something. If he's just starting, expensive clubs wont help him anyway.

[Dub]

On one hand he seems like a good friend who may not even be all that into golf....just wants to come hang with you.

I'd not let golf screw up a good friendship. I believe I would just go after the game on my own and hang out with him at other times.

I'd give the sticks to your little brother, also. You've already made him a great deal to which he's declined. Let your little brother have them.

I know an older brother who had an interest in golf and was willing to take me along would have kept me out of a lot of trouble as a teenager.

Persue golf on you own or with your brother.

At 41, I see some serious "pet peeve" issues developing in my game. I get irritated when play gets bogged down. I let it throw me off. Waiting for a guy to play outa anothers bag would drive me nuts. I'm an arse that way. Gotta work on my patience...or lack thereof.

[shades9323]

I probably would have just given him the old clubs for free. I have done that with my old drivers and woods in the past.

[kafka01]

I probably would have just given him the old clubs for free. I have done that with my old drivers and woods in the past.

Thats probably the best solution - either this or tell him to take his moochy fingers of your clubs (i´m not the club sharing guy and wouldnt have let him touch them in the first place) - in which case you guys probably wont play together anymore.

[deronsizemore]

Sharing a whole set of clubs on the course is over the line. An easy way out of that situation is just tell him the course frowns upon that and you don't want to be kicked off.

On the range, I could see letting others try my irons or putter (never had anyone ask), but never my woods unless I know the player well. I try to keep all my equipment free from dents, dings, scratches, and sky marks and I don't want anyone borrowing them and putting any of those things on my club head. If I know the player well enough to know there's about zero percent chance of a sky mark or something of that nature, I'll let them hit it.

[Cussin hacker]

Like Dub said if he really is a good friend he likely just wants to hang out with ya on the course. I'd cut him off useing your new clubs and if he really wants to golf with ya he'll find the money to do so. I'll bet if he really likes golf he'll come around after a while. I'd also tell him that the club frowns on not having your own clubs and its a matter of time before they cut you both off!

[Captain Hook]

TOUGH LOVE? Just tell him, Get your own set. Use my starter set all you want, but from now hit them. I know its easier to say what you want on here, but man just sit down with him and tell him? Good Luck.

[$2 Nassau]

I wouldn't let my own mother touch my clubs. Never mind swing them. Hell no.

[whetstone]

I'd give him the old clubs, or loan them to him until he buys his own, along with a little speech about not playing out of my bag anymore. I let people hit my clubs if they're thinking about buying some and want to try them out, but that's it.

[Clambake]

While some others suggest just giving him your old clubs, I disagree. This is a "teachable moment". If he is just given your old clubs and allowed to share your bag, it will only serve to reinforce some of his lack of personal responsibility. You've already offered several times to sell him your old clubs at a great (and very reasonable price), so at this point I'd let him know that "I need the money too to feed my golf addiction, so if you're not interested in buying my old clubs I've got someone else interested in them for a higher price." If he doesn't bite, then go ahead and get rid of the clubs - sell them, donate them to a youth golf organization....do something so that they aren't an option for your buddy anymore. Then if he wants to play a round with you but use your nice sticks, you can stand on the "Sorry, but the course requires each player to have their own set". At that point he can either get resourceful and find some clubs or he can stop playing.

You have an opportunity to help teach him that he cannot go through life simply mooching off the good will of friends, and that recreation comes with a price - one has to work to pay for it, and make personal choices on priorities. If he really wants to play with you, he'll find a way to pay for some clubs. But if doesn't learn this lesson soon and friends keep reinforcing his skewed reality, he'll keep getting worse and worse. He'll pass on getting a car because he can use his friend's. He'll stop paying for meals because he can eat at his friends. He'll grow up without any sense of responsibility or morality, eventually becoming a drain on everyone who knows him, and when his friends stop willingly loaning him things he'll go on a stealing spree because he doesn't understand ownership, and he'll start running theft scams on the elderly, or worse....a banker. OK, maybe I'm stretching the consequences a little, but you get the idea!