Gamesmanship with Buddies

[trickymicky69]

On a Sunday morning with my normal golfing friends there is always some gamesmanship/messing around going on.

"There is plenty of golf left in that" - a two foot pressure putt
"Thats a real shame mate you were having a good round" - the first bad shot my 2 hcap mate hits
"Is my shadow annoying you?" - when 20 feet away on a cloudy day
"Are you breathing in or out on the backswing these days?"

Its gotten to the point where one of my mates gave my other mate a scuba diving brochure just before he hit his iron to a par 3 over water

Yours?

[trickymicky69]

And no ideas of how to cheat please - We all still follow etiquette, just like messing with each others heads

[JML22]

"wowwwww NICE SHOT (when they blast it into the woods)"
"some meat in that putt dont push (or pull)"

[anotherday]

Don't have many but one I hate to be on the receiving end of is when I hit wedge fat and the ball trickles forward a few feet and someone says "That's okay, you're just a chip away from the green." Or in other words, you've made no progress at all.

[trickymicky69]

Don't have many but one I hate to be on the receiving end of is when I hit wedge fat and the ball trickles forward a few feet and someone says "That's okay, you're just a chip away from the green." Or in other words, you've made no progress at all.

Keep your eye on it.......(sarcastically)

Yep, I see it.

[bkoguy07]

*leave a putt short*


why dont you go put on a skirt and move to the red tee's

[anotherday]

*leave a putt short*

My usual response to these is: "Hit it with your purse, Nancy!"

[user9800]

*leave a putt short*
"Why don't you put your purse down and hit it next time?"

*General purpose Trash talk*
"Dude, Don't hit that duck" During your back swing on a par 3 with a lot of water.
"Don't sweat it, it's only a 6 foot put. You can 3 put that no problem"

[bwdial]

After a flubbed shot:
"Don't worry, I see it."

After a putt comes up short:
"Does your husband play golf?"

After a whiffed tee shot:
"One."

[Bullitt5339]

"I guess your putter got caught in your skirt"
"I got it!!!!!" (on a duffed shot)
"Yeah, you're closer, but I've seen you putt"
"You'd better go shake that squirrel's hand" (after a nice bounce out of the trees)

[Tomboys]

We're all pretty respectable towards one another, but some of the best ones I've heard after a bad shot were:

"Take two weeks off, then quit."
"Play the divot, it went further."
"It's good thing you're not Japanese. Otherwise, you'd have to kill yourself (commit Hari-kari)."

But, the best one was:

"I hope you don't f*ck like you golf. You'd never get it into the hole."

[BMac0223]

After a topped or duffed shot on a par 3:
"That's gotta get some legs!"

Duff:
"Take that home and plant some tomatoes on it."
or
"You could use that for putting practice."

Short putt:
"Does your husband play golf too?" (disclaimer: only works with men)

Sliced shot onto opposite fairway:
"Right in the short stuff!"

Topped/duffed shot on par 4:
"It takes three to get there anyways."

[pixel5]

Leaving a putt short:

- "Throw your purse at it."
- "I'd like to have seen the end of that one."
- "Hit it, Alice."

During team play when we all finish a hole badly, going to the next tee box:

"And we're off like a herd of turtles."

After going Birdie-Double-Birdie-Triple:

"Chicken today, feathers tomorrow."

[right handed phil mickelson]

Friend leaves a putt short: "Looks like your putter got caught up in your skirt, Alice."
Friend hits it into the woods: "LOOK OUT SQUIRREL."
Friend shanks it: "Seems like the safest place to be when you're hitting is directly in front of you."
Friend hits a low grounder: "Did someone call a worm exterminator?"
Friend hits a bad 2nd shot into a par 5: "How 'bout a lay-up?"
Friend duck-hooks it or mad slices it: "Mmm perfect! Where'd you learn to hit it so straight??"
Friend gets really mad and curses or throws a club: (Dr. Phil voice) "I, I really think you were deprived as a child."
Friend has a mean 5 footer: "Ooo looks like you've got a Joe Pesci."

~RHPM

[PooN]

*After a duffed shot where the ball only goes about 4 feet...

Me: "I see what your problem is."
Friend/playing partner: "What?"
Me: "You are standing too close to the ball... AFTER you hit it!"

[tws1098]

You guys have covered all of mine, but I wanted to say i gave this thread 5 stars as it has given me a few good laughs.

[Stretch]

You're forgetting one of the most versatile and effective irritants out on the course.

Partner tops drive short of ladies' tee -- "Get in the hoooole!"

Partner hooks five iron OB left -- "Get in the hoooole!"

Partner blades short pitch 20 yards over back of green -- "Get in the hoooole!"

We should have a thread for good comebacks, too.

"Nice hip action there!"

"That's exactly what your wife said! Once she could talk again."

[Rexx]

Leave a putt short: "I smell p*ssy."
Team scramble, first to hit, mishit or popup drive: "I got a safe one out there, the rest of you can go for it."