Gamesmanship with Buddies

[golfro]

A popped up drive: "Nice wedge"

THats one I forgot that I pulled off on my friend the other day. Tee'ed off witha 3 wood and popped it up...

my response: "thats a nice flopshot you hit there"

[plugged]

After a playing buddy hits a poor shot, I'll sometimes tell them its due to their loft. "Oh, I'm not getting it in the air enough?". "No", I respond, "your LOFT, your Lack Of ******* Talent!"

[mexojay]

Most of our trash talk is pretty personalized. We occasionally say the stuff like “bring a shovel” (in sand).

When a guy leaves any kind of par or better putt short, we go into the Family Guy’s Stewie; “Mommy, momma, momma, Mom, Louis”.



We play a game called Snake that involves not wanting to 3-putt. If a guy is on the green but far away we just hiss at him incessantly.

One of our normal golf buddies crushes the ball. When he occasionally gets out-driven by one of us we continually ask him where his ball is. "Where's your ball man? Is it up with mine? I can't find it. It must be well after mine right?"

At one point, a guy who hits long for some reason decided to hit his 5 iron on a 145 yard Par 3. We didn't know he did this so right after impact we said, "looks nice, what did you hit?" When he responded "a soft 5", I said "I take it back. That's a terrible shot". Now, anytime he hits a pretty shot its "nice shot. Soft 5?", even if it's obviously his driver.

When we were younger, and very stupid, we used to “Terry Tate” each other. Randomly after a nice drive, if the guy held his pose a bit too long, one of our buddies who played 1AA football would just form tackle the guy in his pose.

[bkoguy07]

Terry tate's are classic!


I still don't get why he would ever want to hit a 5... at 145 lol

[soloredd]

A good one that got me from one of my friends last month. I was 3 under my friend with 2 to play. On the 17th tee he tells me "Did I ever tell you the story about how I came back from 3 down on the last two holes to win?" Absolutely ROCKED my head and we ended up tying. Gave him props for that one.

Buddy today hit into water on a par 3 and after the hole my other friend goes: "Well, could have been a par had you not Michael Phelps'd it"

We always use the usual banter: don't top it, there's nothing between you and the pin but water, etc. I love it.

On of my all time faves though is this: guy slices the hell out of the ball into the next fairway "You're in the fairway"

[mdbuschsr]

Lot's of funny stuff here. Nothing of value to add. I think my favorite was "don't strain your uterus".

A friend of mine, drunk at a best ball tourney, actually walked up the 18th and finished the hole in his boxers when his drive didn't make the ladies tee.

[mcfc_nick]

thinning a pitch through the green - 'SPIN'
'play the divot, its in better shape'
sliced into the next fairway - 'nice fade'
duffed a shot - 'nice lay up' & 'ohhhh ive lost it in the air, you see where it went?'
missed from inside 5 feet - 'nice 2-putt'

[Stretch]

Some terminology for employment in social games:

"A Rock Hudson" -- Putt looked straight, but wasn't.

"A James Joyce" -- Putt was impossible to read.

"A Princess Grace" -- Should have used driver.

"A Princess Di" -- Shouldn't have used driver.

"A Saddam Hussein" -- From one bunker to another.

"A Ted Kennedy" -- Into the water and jumps out.

"A Sonny Bono" -- Straight into the trees.

"A condom" -- Safe, but didn't feel very good.

"A Brazilian" -- Shaved the hole.

[chriskot]

I usually like to say cocky things. It'll mess my buddies up because they really want to beat me after that. Something like this after a good shot:

"I'm jealous of you guys, cause you get to watch me play."

[bwdial]

After a putt/shot comes up woefully short:
"Hey sweetheart... your slip is showing." or...
"Is your girdle too tight?"

[double_j]

My regular group(s) are not that creative. We're more mean (in a friendly way) than anything else.

When someone hits a poor shot - "What the f*** was that? Maybe you should just sit this one out."

Alternatively, saying "Here we go..." after a bad tee shot is a nice way to imply an inevitable blow up hole.

When the teaching pros we play with hit a good shot - "Big deal, it's your job. No one congratulates me for doing taxes."

When someone hits an unlikely outstanding shot to win/halve (which tends to happen quite often in our match play situations) - "You're a di**." (only works when said by the person who would have otherwise won).

[Where's the Cart Girl?]

I was playing with a kid I didn't know that well in college once and I chunked the life out of a full swing 60 degree wedge from th middle of the fairway. He proceeded to walk ahead, grab th divot (which was the size of a small child) study it momentarily and say,"Hey, does this look like Jesus to anyone else?"

Tough to concentrate after that one.

[mckennwa]

After knocking a drive well past one of my playing partners, I will often look at him seriously and say:

"Did you hit 3-iron off this tee?"

[PooN]

When someone hits a poor shot - "What the f*** was that? Maybe you should just sit this one out."

Pretty much our "guy humor" as well... fun mean.

[Rudy]

Ball falls off the tee: "3."

Whenever my one regular partner hits a fantastic shot: "Why don't you do that all the time?"

Of course farting on the backswing of your partner occasionally is good for a few laughs.

And whenever someone yells 'fore' in our general direction we make it a priority of ours to immediately start running around with our hands on our heads and then end it by diving somewhere on the ground. It usually is met with laughter by the guy who hit the shot and probably takes some stress off of his terrible shot.

[snofrog]

Ball falls off the tee: "3."

thats funny as heck

[Judah Ben-Hur]

Some funny stuff. I was surprised it took 6 pages before "farting" reared its ugly head. Definetely a guy thing.

[tsdnorton]

Nice lay up (when they hit a fat shot)
Does your husband have a tee time tomorrow morning too alice? (when they keep putts short)
ALLLLLIIIIGATORS ARE AMONG US (when they flub putts)
Watch out for the sand (when they're hitting over water)