Uncle Lau Proficiency Certificate Days....

[Uncle Lau]

In Singapore, when a beginner golfer started his journey from the range to complete his golf course, his or her golf instructor or home club will test the beginner golfer a test known as Proficiency Certificate Test. His test usually tested in a par 3, 4 to 5 holes test, it will determine how the beginner golfer played his or her long game, short games and most important, Golf Etiquette.

Upon passing this Proficiency Certificate Test, the new golfer will be allow to play in his home club or another private or public club, provided a member or a handicapper would to bring him in.

One incident till today i would laughed over a jug of beer or to break the ice with a new golf buddy......

Those days in Seletar Base Golf Club course, a former British Army Golf course (now is a Aerospace Hub), myself, my golfing buddies Donald and my drinking pal David would wait patiently at the starter hut. SBGC was a public course that would allow Proficiency Certificate holders to played...provide a handicapper would then agreed to bring us in.

Imagine every time we would smile at any golfers walking towards the starter hut and if he said he doesn't wants us, we would just say Thanks and sit down again and wait for another golfers....

And if we will lucky we be tee off with a Handicapper Golfer, hours later in the hot afternoon sun....but one incident is our talk of the Decade......August 2002, temp. 33 deg Celsius........

3 of us waited in the starter hut for an hour, than came a stout man (HC man), he agreed to takes as in as he is alone. He said he is some sport coach from some sport Insitution.

On the 1st fairway 150m left to green i took out a 3 wood, he screamed at me " HEY YOU ! Why take 3 woods, used a 4 iron ! " So i used my 4 irons, the ball shanks and went over Donald head !

2nd hole green. Donald putted like from North to South and to the East of the green, the HC man said " You play Hockey or Table Tennis ah ! Even my worst boys played better than you ! "

3nd hole teebox, nickname Airport Hole as right side is the Seletar Airport Runway and is protected high fenches and is OB. I took a WHACKED with my old Maruman driver, a 220cc driver...the ball went forward than turn sharply to the right and OB into the thick bushes....the HC man looked at me and said " WHY ! WHY ! SO BIG SPACE INFRONT....YOU GO AND HIT TO THE RIGHT !!! Your Proficiency Certificate Test you buy ah !!!!! "

5th hole teebox, David habits before he tee off he would used his driver and hit the ground a few time....the HC man said to him sternly " You hit the ground for what ? You prayed on the ground, the ball will go futher than me ???!!!! "

And Ladies and Gentleman !, that is the last straw our temper can hold...we 3 whacked him like we whacked a Impact Bag.....with our fists.....

Now in present days, everytime i bring a PC or beginner to play their 1st or practise round or virgin 18 holes with them, i would guide them with great care and patient to the best knowledge i could offer...for i always remember what that HC man said to me.....many many moon ago......

[Stretch]

I salute you Uncle Lau, you magnificent bastard! If I ever make it to Singapore, let's go play some golf, get really drunk and beat someone up. Not necessarily in that order.

[Sweetswing]

Great story uncle Lau, I'm still laughing.

[andy-golf]

same so am i

[Fat Slice]

Thank you Uncle Lau - I needed a laugh! I sure hope I can get to play a round or two of golf with you in Johor or maybe Genting Highlands if you want to lose some balls!

[enis750]

u sure your not Canadian??? ;)

[kevin.chan]

lol !


UL ,

You guys go over to play at JB ?

It is easier and you dont need an HC man to tag along.

[jamo]

Nice story!

[Uncle Lau]

lol !

Hey Mr chan, i may be poping over to my uncle factory in Dongguan next year, let have a game !!!

[Fat Slice]

Uncle Lau:

If you are going to Dongguan you must, of course, play Mission Hills. More important than that, however, is you should stay at the Good View Hotel. It's like a mini-city with everything you could want. Food, recreation, entertainment.

http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_R...Guangdong.html

I am trying to go this month before Christmas for some meetings in Shenzhen - if not, then January for sure.

[very handicap]

Uncle Lau,

When you beat that guy up, didn't he complain to the club?

[Uncle Lau]

Uncle Lau:

Wow good stuff bro fat slice...thanks ....hey if you in Shenzhen do find time to travel south to Thailand and Singapore....in Singapore i bring you around and try our famous claypot milk crab and laksa...hehehe Welcome you ant time bro !

[Uncle Lau]

Uncle Lau,

Hahahaha...do take my story with a pinch of salt....yes it is a true story but we did not whack him, just let go all the foul words we can think out and almost chased him across the stream. We never see in the club ever since.