My take on temper tantrums......

[dfreuter415]

Great article:  There Are No Bad Shots in Golf

http://golfstateofmind.com/there-are-no-bad-shots-in-golf/

[Lihu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by WedgeHead

I used to get a little mad when I was younger back in the 80's, but I'm too old and laid back now to care. It doesn't help anything to get mad. Just suck it up and move on to your next shot.

Try this: laugh at yourself next time you make a bad shot. I guarantee you'll have a better chance of recovering and making a better shot next time. It's juvenile to get upset and cause a scene over a game, and people will lose respect for you.

Tried it. My laugh sounds biting and sarcastic and it hurts my feelings. That makes me even more mad.

Good one!

One of the people in front of me this morning started getting really angry after missing a putt. Then I guess he cooled down after my LW shot flew over them and they got a laugh out of it. Oops, well, in the end, it made someone's day better. . .

[Fourputt]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dfreuter415

Great article:  There Are No Bad Shots in Golf

http://golfstateofmind.com/there-are-no-bad-shots-in-golf/

Quote:

• Tiger Woods has a “ten pace” rule where after he hits a shot that he did not intend, he gives himself ten paces in which to get over it. Just making that decision to do this will help you.

Tiger must be doing a lot of pacing around the greens lately.

[rkim291968]

Speaking of throwing clubs, I just saw one yesterday from a group in front.   The guy hits a weak shot from bunker, the ball ends back up in bunker, and he hits another weak shot that barely came out of the said bunker.   As he walks out, without fixing the sand, he throws his club about 30 feet in the air.   The club lands near green and bounces into it.   I have been waiting on this front group for the most of the round and noticed the temper tantrum guy was worse golfer than I am.   But that didn't stop him from constant "expletives" - yeah, there were a lot of that too. I truly think some people don't have temperament to play a game like golf.

[mcanadiens]

Speaking of throwing clubs, I just saw one yesterday from a group in front.   The guy hits a weak shot from bunker, the ball ends back up in bunker, and he hits another weak shot that barely came out of the said bunker.   As he walks out, without fixing the sand, he throws his club about 30 feet in the air.   The club lands near green and bounces into it.   I have been waiting on this front group for the most of the round and noticed the temper tantrum guy was worse golfer than I am.   But that didn't stop him from constant "expletives" - yeah, there were a lot of that too.   I truly think some people don't have temperament to play a game like golf.

And that's what I'm trying to figure out for myself.

[DrvFrShow]

I think it boils down to this. We tend to focus on the negative and rarely remember the positive. Take our job performance appraisals. How often do they mention the number of good things on them? They sure remember to mention that time you messed up and weren't able to cover up your mistake. But they never seem to remember any of the positive things you did unless you had a "perfect" year. At least where I worked. It was a focus on the negative instead of the positive.

Take the last Super Bowl. People focus on the one play at the end. Call it a bad call. It turns out it was a very high percentage call that wasn't executed well. Honestly Seattle was lucky to be in the game at that point. They were playing without a number of starters and some were playing hurt. They played a great game. But the focus was on the negative at the end. Move on.

We motivate not by positive motivation, but by "tightening the screws." The beatings will continue until morale improves.

I had piano teachers that had reputations for making students cry. Make a mistake and get hit on the hand. Nice.

Make a mistake do you hear, "that's okay, try again?" No, you get yelled at. "No! That's not how you do it!" (you worthless piece of crap!)

Focus on the negative. It carries over onto the golf course. What do we expect? Do we expect we can turn off a lifetime of conditioning for 18 holes? Yes, and we're bad, horrible people if we can't.

You missed that bunker shot, you worthless piece of crap!

That's what's going on. And golf is a game that absolutely punishes you for this. We have to look at it as a nice walk interrupted by hitting a ball.

[Lihu]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkim291968

Speaking of throwing clubs, I just saw one yesterday from a group in front.   The guy hits a weak shot from bunker, the ball ends back up in bunker, and he hits another weak shot that barely came out of the said bunker.   As he walks out, without fixing the sand, he throws his club about 30 feet in the air.   The club lands near green and bounces into it.   I have been waiting on this front group for the most of the round and noticed the temper tantrum guy was worse golfer than I am.   But that didn't stop him from constant "expletives" - yeah, there were a lot of that too.   I truly think some people don't have temperament to play a game like golf.

And that's what I'm trying to figure out for myself.

We all have our moments. . .

Of course, the person @rkim291968 was talking about went a little bit too far, if you find yourself endangering other people and damaging the course then you might want to take a little break from golf until you reel the emotions in.

Otherwise, it's perfectly normal to get a little upset sometimes.

[MrFlipper]

I think it boils down to this. We tend to focus on the negative and rarely remember the positive.

I remember an old book by Toski, I believe it was "how to feel a golf swing" or something similar. They had a small chapter at the end by Rotella about the mental side, as I recall his comments were along the lines of having 2 ways of thought.

One way is to analyze every little thing, every movement, every error to try to get better. It works for awhile but it eventually becomes self defeating when improvement doesn't come along with incrementally more analysis and hard work. You get so focused on the little pieces that you forget the whole.

The other way was at some point to let go of all the analysis, etc. and to trust yourself to make the right movements and decisions. Kind of like when you drive a car, you don't think about every little thing, you have learned and you just do it.  What if we drove cars in the same way we tried to play golf? Or worrying about all your arm movements when shooting a basketball---

Had a big effect on my thought process. I think a lot of anger displays come from times when our over analysis doesn't lead to the type of free swing and result we'd like to have, and the angrier we get the more we analyze and tinker and its just a vicious circle..

[GolfLug]

Nothing wrong with getting little or even lot mad every now and then. What's maddening about golf is the severe and sudden regression of skill one can experience any given day with no seeming change. An expert piano player can at least expect to know all the keys on the piano every time they get on it. How maddening would it be if they regress THAT MUCH? I guess we would see some flying pianos at some point if so.

Not condoning club throwing or anything but golf is unique in that sense.

[DrvFrShow]

There have been days I wanted to throw my grand piano out the window.

[rkim291968]

It's true for all things, not just piano players or golfers.   Most of us can keep our frustration under control (or at least throw no tantrums).   Some can't.   In case of the golfer I was referring to, the guy threw his club 30 feet in the air.   If his aim was off, he could have seriously hurt someone.   The only thing he damaged was 1st cut area of the green and that's not cool.   And based on his behavior pattern in the round, he should be playing a lesser frustrating game.   BTW, the same group waited for green to clear on a short par 4 hole.   None of their drives landed on the fairway.  None of their drives went anywhere close to the green and they were hitting from a shortest tee.   Go figure.

[graham57]

Watching the True Thailand Classic live today on TV. English pro Tom Lewis hit a bad second shot on a par 5 and expressed his anger by smashing his 3 wood on the ground, breaking the shaft with such force that the head flew back between his legs and span off about 5 yards. In the same way that professional soccer or football players are supposed to be role models for younger people watching the sport, and that sport is supposed to be an environment where kids can learn to play by rules and compete in a non-aggressive, sporting manner, I find this can also be expected of golf pros. What shocked me just as much as Lewis's behaviour, though, was the fact that neither of the two commentators expressed any kind of disapproval at all. One even expressed concern that Lewis might have injured himself - the commentator had apparently had a grahite shaft break on him and had to get embedded fibres removed from his skin in hospital. I know it adds to the "humanness" of the pros that we can share in their emotions - be it frustration or joy over an outstanding accomplishment - but this behaviour is, in my opinion, not tour-worthy.

[JonMA1]

There are some really good posts on this subject. It's so easy to analyze what we should do but for those of use who struggle with the frustration, it's a bit harder to put into practice.

When playing with others, I usually seem to keep a positive attitude. I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm suppressing any rage and it's not like I play a lot better, there just isn't any real anger. But when I'm by myself it's a different story. I've never thrown a club on the golf course but I'll cuss like a sailor if no one is around... you know, the "why the #$^& do I even bother" type of stuff. It's embarrassing even if no one else hears it.

Some of these thoughts have been mentioned and have helped control my temper:

1. Remembering that I am fortunate enough to be playing golf (even if it's bad golf) is a blessing when I consider how many people in the world never get the chance.

2.The idea of looking at a bad shot as an opportunity to improve on the type of shot your left with is a good one. That seems to work a bit.

3. Also, what seems to be a universal fact in golf (regardless of handicap), a really good round or a really bad round is not a trend. If I can remember that, it seems to work both in keeping my expectations under control after a good round, and understanding that a bad round doesn't mean I've gotten worse - that's just golf.

4. Finally, "looking at the glass half full" way of thinking. Very rarely is my entire game in the toilet (relative to "normal" that is). At the beginning of last season, I was elated by how well I was hitting my irons - week after week. But my putting was so bad it was laughable - I mean it was so consistently bad, after a while I honestly laughed at missing 2 and 3 foot birdie or par putts. But the idea that the rest of my game was good enough to occasionally leave me with that type of opportunity was encouraging.

I just have to remember what the reality of this game is. It's supposed to be difficult and sadly, I'm on the low point of the improvement curve. That will likely never change. But It's those exceptional shots and the possibility of a personal best that keep me coming back. Not the idea that I will somehow get to the point where the game will become easy. If I can remember these things, maybe I can avoid embarrassing myself with something worse than bad play.

[Fourputt]

Some of these thoughts have been mentioned and have helped control my temper:

1. Remembering that I am fortunate enough to be playing golf (even if it's bad golf) is a blessing when I consider how many people in the world never get the chance.

2.The idea of looking at a bad shot as an opportunity to improve on the type of shot your left with is a good one. That seems to work a bit.

3. Also, what seems to be a universal fact in golf (regardless of handicap), a really good round or a really bad round is not a trend. If I can remember that, it seems to work both in keeping my expectations under control after a good round, and understanding that a bad round doesn't mean I've gotten worse - that's just golf.

4. Finally, "looking at the glass half full" way of thinking. Very rarely is my entire game in the toilet (relative to "normal" that is). At the beginning of last season, I was elated by how well I was hitting my irons - week after week. But my putting was so bad it was laughable - I mean it was so consistently bad, after a while I honestly laughed at missing 2 and 3 foot birdie or par putts. But the idea that the rest of my game was good enough to occasionally leave me with that type of opportunity was encouraging.

I just have to remember what the reality of this game is. It's supposed to be difficult and sadly, I'm on the low point of the improvement curve. That will likely never change. But It's those exceptional shots and the possibility of a personal best that keep me coming back. Not the idea that I will somehow get to the point where the game will become easy. If I can remember these things, maybe I can avoid embarrassing myself with something worse than bad play.

At times my glass is less than 1/4 full, but I still keep my sense of humor and see what is there as opposed to what isn't.  I really can't afford temper tantrums -  clubs are too expensive, and my wife is tight with the purse strings.

[JonMA1]

At times my glass is less than 1/4 full, but I still keep my sense of humor and see what is there as opposed to what isn't.  I really can't afford temper tantrums -  clubs are too expensive, and my wife is tight with the purse strings.

Same here - and probably the way it should be. Left to our own devices, we'd have a new set of clubs every season.

If we can find humor in the fact that we're controlled by our spouses, a bad shot or round should mean nothing. My wife mercilessly gives me crap if I so much as get a little grumpy playing or practicing golf.

[natureboy]

Tiger must be doing a lot of pacing around the greens lately.

His 82 probably drove him nuts - sinking stomach of dread. Yet, when he spoke to the press afterward he made a joke and addressed his round with decent perspective. I thought that was pretty well done on his part.

[natureboy]

I remember an old book by Toski, I believe it was "how to feel a golf swing" or something similar. They had a small chapter at the end by Rotella about the mental side, as I recall his comments were along the lines of having 2 ways of thought.

One way is to analyze every little thing, every movement, every error to try to get better. It works for awhile but it eventually becomes self defeating when improvement doesn't come along with incrementally more analysis and hard work. You get so focused on the little pieces that you forget the whole.

The other way was at some point to let go of all the analysis, etc. and to trust yourself to make the right movements and decisions. Kind of like when you drive a car, you don't think about every little thing, you have learned and you just do it.  What if we drove cars in the same way we tried to play golf? Or worrying about all your arm movements when shooting a basketball---

Had a big effect on my thought process. I think a lot of anger displays come from times when our over analysis doesn't lead to the type of free swing and result we'd like to have, and the angrier we get the more we analyze and tinker and its just a vicious circle..

Paul Runyan mentions the two mindsets as well in 'Short Way to Lower Scoring'. Technical / analytical for practice and target focused for scored play. He also used his practice and play experience to set reasonable expectations. His 'temperature wouldn't go up one iota' if he hit a long putt straight on line, but short if he was well outside the 'make zone'. It was still a good putt.

The driving thing is a good analogy. There were times when I was had the habit of fixating on my position in the lane relative to the fog line, but I think I actually moved around in the lane more than when I just kept a steady focus on a 'target' in the lane well down the road.