I Hate Getting Paired Up With "That Guy"

[RickK]

I actually got paired with 3 guys this weekend, and although plenty nice fellas, basically not a word of English between the 3 of them.  Not one of them even told me their name when I introduced myself to them.  We could communicate well enough to get through the round logistically, but wow, socially it was a tough. I kind of felt awkward after a while.  2 of the 3 were really pretty bad at golf and they didn't play very fast.  It was just a lot of waiting, watching really bad shots, and having no conversation (they had plenty, but I obviously didn't).

I have come to enjoy getting paired with folks for a round, but that was a tough day.  I would have much rather played by myself or maybe even not at all.

Reminds me of something that happened to me quite a number of years back.  I played as a single at a golf course that is now gone away and the land is part of large airport.  But,anyway, went out with 2 Japanese guys.  One attempted to speak some English but the other guy never spoke a word of English with the exception of one phrase.  Almost every shot I hit into the greens, he would say something that sounded like this..."No sheee, good shaaaaa".  I knew exactly what it meant. During the round, they would talk in Japanese and the guy who spoke some English would then try to translate for me so I knew what they were talking about .  It was a fun day.  I played well so I heard No sheee, good shaaaa quite a bit.

[tim1025]

I agree that this is annoying. Some people can give advice and it is ok. What I really dislike is when u get advice before u even hit shot. Some arrogant people think they are the only ones that know what they are doing. Takes u out of focus of how u know how to play shot as it works for u.

[club ho]

I recently played with a friend who is better than me and noticed that for several holes, he had been hitting his tee shots to the right.  On the next par-3, I stood behind him as he hit his tee shot and saw that he was aiming to the right of the green.  After he got kind of disgusted with the results of his shot, I told him that the ball went exactly where he was aiming and asked if in the future he wanted me to say anything if I noticed his aim was off.  He rather curtly snapped "Never!"  I shrugged and won't think of trying to offer him any suggestions in the future.  However, a few holes later it was particularly satisfying when on a short, tight par-4, his driver got caught in the wind and my shot-of-the-round 4-iron tee shot ended up about 7 yards further down the fairway than his ball.

Unless you are a PGA certified pro you have no business offering advise. Unsolicited advise is a BIG NO NO! You strike me as the type of golfer that no one wants to play with. Offering advise to a player that is struggling  during a round does no good and usually only makes the afflicted golfer play worse. But maybe you already know that and do it to screw the poor guy up more I suspect!

[inthehole]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wisguy

I recently played with a friend who is better than me and noticed that for several holes, he had been hitting his tee shots to the right.  On the next par-3, I stood behind him as he hit his tee shot and saw that he was aiming to the right of the green.  After he got kind of disgusted with the results of his shot, I told him that the ball went exactly where he was aiming and asked if in the future he wanted me to say anything if I noticed his aim was off.  He rather curtly snapped "Never!"  I shrugged and won't think of trying to offer him any suggestions in the future.  However, a few holes later it was particularly satisfying when on a short, tight par-4, his driver got caught in the wind and my shot-of-the-round 4-iron tee shot ended up about 7 yards further down the fairway than his ball.

Unless you are a PGA certified pro you have no business offering advise. Unsolicited advise is a BIG NO NO! You strike me as the type of golfer that no one wants to play with. Offering advise to a player that is struggling  during a round does no good and usually only makes the afflicted golfer play worse. But maybe you already know that and do it to screw the poor guy up more I suspect!

I think you're way off ... Wisguy straight up asked if in the future he wanted him to say anything if he noticed his aim was off.     This seems very appropriate to me & is something I will use if I'm ever in the situation where I obviously see someone struggling &based; on the situation feel the uncontrollable urge to offer some advice (this has only happened once in my 3 years of playing, so I don't make a habit of it) ...

[MS256]

I think you're way off ... Wisguy straight up asked if in the future he wanted him to say anything if he noticed his aim was off.     This seems very appropriate to me & is something I will use if I'm ever in the situation where I obviously see someone struggling &based; on the situation feel the uncontrollable urge to offer some advice (this has only happened once in my 3 years of playing, so I don't make a habit of it) ...

I think you could all be right. Just depends on the relationship, knowing the demeanor of the golfer, and most of all knowing what you are talking about. I know quite a few golfers that don't have a clue what "correct alignment" even is, that line each other up with their foot lines entirely wrong every time.

My normal rule is to not give any advice unless somebody asks and probably not even then unless I really know what they are trying to do.

[randomzero]

It must be a guy thing.  I never seen any lady golfer offering advice.

Wrong you are. The one time that I had a "that guy" deal, it was a middle-aged lady who I had to wait on most of my round. After I was done and loading up my clubs, she and her friend were nearby and started talking to me about my round. Now, she didn't see any part of my round, but I told her, as she had asked, that I hit the ball pretty inconsistent that day and didn't play very well. She proceeded to tell me that men are bad because they try to hit it too hard. I watched her play the whole round. She didn't try to hit it too hard, but hit ground balls more often than not. Anyway, she kept giving me advice for at least 5-10 minutes without me really saying anything. Seeing me swing and telling me I got off balance from trying to hit it too hard, or something along those lines, is one thing; Not seeing me swing at all, then telling me that my whole problem is trying to kill it, is quite another.

[Wisguy]

I think you're way off ... Wisguy straight up asked if in the future he wanted him to say anything if he noticed his aim was off.     This seems very appropriate to me & is something I will use if I'm ever in the situation where I obviously see someone struggling &based; on the situation feel the uncontrollable urge to offer some advice (this has only happened once in my 3 years of playing, so I don't make a habit of it) ...

Thank you for the positive  comment.  You are entirely correct that I was trying to balance being helpful with avoiding being intrusive with unsolicited advice, particularly since my friend is a better golfer than I was.

Golf is one of the toughest activities to master and I think one generally does need to have a very low handicap and/or be a teaching pro to understand the mechanics of a golf swing well enough to give thorough or more than basic advice .

However, there are some elements of the game that are fairly obvious and some faults do not require a complete understanding of the golf swing to correct.  In this case, my friend was a) a generally straight hitter who doesn't try to work his irons; b) lining up and aiming to the right and his usual straight shots were going exactly where he aimed - if he had aimed at the pin instead of 10-20 yards right of the pin, he'd have faced a makeable birdie putt instead of a longer chip.  Telling someone their aim is off is to golf advice what telling someone they need to reduce the salt in a dish from 3/4tsp to a 1/2tsp or telling them that if the cookies are dark brown on the edges and crumble easily, they need to take them out of the oven a minute or two earlier; one does not need to be a trained professional to render that sort of advice.

Club Ho, you strike me as the sort of person who makes irrational snap-judgments about people without any justification.

[club ho]

Thank you for the positive  comment.  You are entirely correct that I was trying to balance being helpful with avoiding being intrusive with unsolicited advice, particularly since my friend is a better golfer than I was.

Golf is one of the toughest activities to master and I think one generally does need to have a very low handicap and/or be a teaching pro to understand the mechanics of a golf swing well enough to give thorough or more than basic advice .

However, there are some elements of the game that are fairly obvious and some faults do not require a complete understanding of the golf swing to correct.  In this case, my friend was a) a generally straight hitter who doesn't try to work his irons; b) lining up and aiming to the right and his usual straight shots were going exactly where he aimed - if he had aimed at the pin instead of 10-20 yards right of the pin, he'd have faced a makeable birdie putt instead of a longer chip.  Telling someone their aim is off is to golf advice what telling someone they need to reduce the salt in a dish from 3/4tsp to a 1/2tsp or telling them that if the cookies are dark brown on the edges and crumble easily, they need to take them out of the oven a minute or two earlier; one does not need to be a trained professional to render that sort of advice.

Club Ho, you strike me as the sort of person who makes irrational snap-judgments about people without any justification.

Talk about snap-judgements! I simply tried to let you know that even offering to give advice to a struggling golfer is as bad as giving a the advice itself. You are acknowledging that the golfer is screwing up. In other words you are humiliating the golfer in front of the other golfers. I have a friend who is a teaching golf pro and we have had this conversation before. He has told me that unless you are a much better golfer you have no business offering advice to another player. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe you said that you were offering advice to a better player. I believe what my golf pro friend makes sense. All I was really saying to you is I would hate to be in a group with the village idiot telling people how  to do something.

[Golfingdad]

Talk about snap-judgements! I simply tried to let you know that even offering to give advice to a struggling golfer is as bad as giving a the advice itself. You are acknowledging that the golfer is screwing up. In other words you are humiliating the golfer in front of the other golfers. I have a friend who is a teaching golf pro and we have had this conversation before. He has told me that unless you are a much better golfer you have no business offering advice to another player. Correct me if I am wrong but I believe you said that you were offering advice to a better player. I believe what my golf pro friend makes sense. All I was really saying to you is I would hate to be in a group with the village idiot telling people how  to do something.

I agree with wisguy on this one.  I don't think that pointing out to a friend that he is lined up wrong is even in the "advice" category.  (Not talking ROG here, just banter)  I bet what your pro is talking about is people saying things like "keep your head down," and "keep your left arm straight" type of stuff.

If a friend of mine hits a couple into the woods because he was aimed over there, then he's definitely going to get a "Nice shot dipshit.  Did you realize that is exactly where you were aiming?"

Strangers are a completely different story.  Unless somebody explicitly asks me, I won't say a word.  I played with a pretty decent golfer once this year who had a very playable PULL-DRAW ... because he lined up about 30-40 degrees to the right.  Who am I to tell him he's doing something wrong?  That works for him.  But a friend who's game I know, and who's doing something different than normal?  Yeah, he'll hear it.

[jsgolfer]

I never give unsolicited advice from strangers I play with, it's hard when someone is struggling but I won't say anything unless someone asks.  Besides it's hard to give advice during a round, because as soon as they try it and it doesn't work, they go right back to the way they were playing and then they are pissed at you for the rest of the round.

[jsgolfer]

In one of the other threads, Iacas reminded me of the guy that bugs me the most on the golf course (other than slow players) is the one who says nice shot after every shot you hit.  I used to be a Member of a private course in Maine and there was this one one guy who said nice shot right after it hit a tree, this was on the 8th hole and I was playing awful as it was, but more irritated than anything, as my shots were offline most of the round and he would say nice shot.  Wanted to wrap my driver around his neck.  I played with him a couple of times when it couldn't be avoided, but I would run the other way if I saw him heading to the tee.

[flopster]

Giving anyone advice on the course is a very touchy item, first of all unless specifically asked by a stranger I never offer anything even if I know it would help I just don't want to spoil someones day even more. Friends during casual is okay but not when they just scraped a 7 iron 25 feet and are pissed off, I'll wait until they make a good shot and say that time you didn't pick the club up or much better tempo or whatever it was that I saw going wrong to try and reinforce that swing thought into them, most of the time they agree and throughout the day use that swing thought. Peoples minds have to be in a more receptive state to be willing to take any advice.

[Golfingdad]

In one of the other threads, Iacas reminded me of the guy that bugs me the most on the golf course (other than slow players) is the one who says nice shot after every shot you hit.  I used to be a Member of a private course in Maine and there was this one one guy who said nice shot right after it hit a tree, this was on the 8th hole and I was playing awful as it was, but more irritated than anything, as my shots were offline most of the round and he would say nice shot.  Wanted to wrap my driver around his neck.  I played with him a couple of times when it couldn't be avoided, but I would run the other way if I saw him heading to the tee.

Everybody knows people like that.  They are A) just trying to be encouraging, and B) likely basing their judgment on their own game.

My dad and father-in-law both pretty much say "nice shot" on every shot I hit that isn't horrendous, and my dad says "nice roll" on every single putt I hit regardless of its outcome.  (Of course, my dad is also the guy who, whenever anybody in our family is going anywhere that he is not going, will 100% of the time follow up his goodbye with a "be careful."  As if I was going to drive super recklessly until he reminded me not to.  "Good thing he said that ... Now I won't drive with my eyes closed because that's not 'careful.'")  All of that stuff can get irritating after time but it's just how they are.  I choose to ignore it when I can (easier said than done sometimes) rather than get worked up about it.

[jsgolfer]

I probably would have been fine until I hit that damn tree and my ball dropped directly behind it and he said good shot.

If he was trying to be encouraging that wasn't the moment.  Although he wasn't very good, so maybe you're right, my bad shots were still better than his normal shots for the most part.

[flopster]

There is  a few different personalities I don't care to tee it up with but the one I really dislike is the "legend in his own mind" "GUY". It never fails when this rat finally gets out he has every excuse ever used and a few new ones I never heard of. What it is that gets under my skin is that I know how much time and effort it took me to get at the level I play (and I still have a long ways to go) and this bozo is saying he plays the same and even better from time to time when I know it's total BS. There was one occasion I had a really good day and shot low 70's and "THAT GUY" was there and chopped a 95, I remember the look I got afterwards and loved every second of it, I also kept my mouth shut since I feel that added to the beat down as well.

[flopster]

I probably would have been fine until I hit that damn tree and my ball dropped directly behind it and he said good shot.

If he was trying to be encouraging that wasn't the moment.  Although he wasn't very good, so maybe you're right, my bad shots were still better than his normal shots for the most part.

Maybe it's just his sense of humor and he just views going out and playing golf as just hitting the ball with no real purpose in mind, and the end result is pointless.

[club ho]

I never give unsolicited advice from strangers I play with, it's hard when someone is struggling but I won't say anything unless someone asks.  Besides it's hard to give advice during a round, because as soon as they try it and it doesn't work, they go right back to the way they were playing and then they are pissed at you for the rest of the round.

Thank you! That is all I am trying to say. If you your game is going haywire the last thing you need is some guy pointing out what he perceives to be the problem when you did not ask for advice. The thought of  a 28 handicap  handing out unsolicited advice makes absolutely no sense at all.

I play with a guy who is self taught 9 handicap. His address on the tee looks like it will go way right  and out of bounds. Yet his drives are generally in the fairway with the prettiest little draw that you would die to have. Now if he starts losing it to right for some reason due to lost mechanics what good could it do to tell him that he is aiming too far right? I am a firm believer that offering advice during a round is 99 % counter productive. Particularly unsolicited advice. Call that snap-judgement all you want.

[club ho]

Everybody knows people like that.  They are A) just trying to be encouraging, and B) likely basing their judgment on their own game.

My dad and father-in-law both pretty much say "nice shot" on every shot I hit that isn't horrendous, and my dad says "nice roll" on every single putt I hit regardless of its outcome.  (Of course, my dad is also the guy who, whenever anybody in our family is going anywhere that he is not going, will 100% of the time follow up his goodbye with a "be careful."  As if I was going to drive super recklessly until he reminded me not to.  "Good thing he said that ... Now I won't drive with my eyes closed because that's not 'careful.'")  All of that stuff can get irritating after time but it's just how they are.  I choose to ignore it when I can (easier said than done sometimes) rather than get worked up about it.

I know a golfer a real nice guy who just can not help himself. He says after every shot that gets up in the air "Oh Nice shot!". The problem is a lot of those shots end up going out of bounds or into a pond after he makes the Nice shot comment. But he is a good guy and means only good with his comments so I don't let it bother me I actually find it funny.