Golfing Colloquialisms Thread!

[Stretch]

Truly ugly shot that somehow ends up in the middle of the fairway/green: "Good thing there's no comment column on the card!"

Screaming skull across the green (as deadpan as possible): "One groove low."

Massive pull hook or block OB off the tee: "You got all of that, bro."

No-hoper putt: "Other than line and speed, that was perfect."

Putt jammed six feet past hole (annoying-boss-from-Office Space-voice): "Yyyyyeah, so if you could just go ahead and still be away, that'd be grrreeaattt. Mmmkay?"

(* All assume you're playing with friends rather than strangers, who would be perfectly entitled to riposte by punching you in the mouth.)

[Ernest Jones]

Truly ugly shot that somehow ends up in the middle of the fairway/green: "Good thing there's no comment column on the card!" Screaming skull across the green (as deadpan as possible): "One groove low." Massive pull hook or block OB off the tee: "You got all of that, bro." No-hoper putt: "Other than line and speed, that was perfect." Putt jammed six feet past hole (annoying-boss-from-Office Space-voice): "Yyyyyeah, so if you could just go ahead and still be away, that'd be grrreeaattt. Mmmkay?" (* All assume you're playing with friends rather than strangers, who would be perfectly entitled to riposte by punching you in the mouth.)

LMAO @ one groove low. I'm so stealing that!

[iacas]

Condom shot - doesn't feel very good, but it's safe.

[cipher]

Originally Posted by iacas

Condom shot - doesn't feel very good, but it's safe.

LOL, I am going to steal that one.

[Hacker James]

"threading the needle"   hitting into a grove of trees and getting out with a "low punch" through the trees and sometimes even through the "Y" of a branch. I did that the other day onto the green from about 140 yards with a 7I

[TourSpoon]

Originally Posted by iacas

Condom shot - doesn't feel very good, but it's safe.

That goes along with our C*** Rocket...when you dig deep from your...uh...pocket and send one screaming down the fairway, struck with total authority. It's the highest compliment to hear, "Man, that was a C Rocket".

Aunt Jemima - Nice flop shop that floats like a flipped pancake

Chicken Carver - shaping it to the fairway

Butternut Biscuit - cousin of C Rocket but usually struck with a long iron

Sky Rockets in Flight - Very high tee ball that doesn't have the normal distance

Skipper Chuck - Skipping in a low checker pitch shot near the pin

[Archie Bunker]

Still away?

"USGA"

(U Suck Go Again)

[zipazoid]

Originally Posted by boil3rmak3r

One complete rotation of a rolling golf ball travels almost exactly the length of a dollar bill. Test this by taking a buck and wrapping it around a ball!

When someone leaves a putt just short, we'll sometimes translate that to currency.

*guy leaves a putt 2 inches short* - "20 more cents and that was in."

We call that a South America putt...cuz all it needed was one more revolution.

Couple others -

Drop-Kick - when you hit the ground behind a teed-up drive & the clubhead bounces into the ball.

LeBron - Finishing triple-double. Used to be called a Magic Johnson

Rainmaker - Pop-up drive

[jamo]

LeBron - Finishing triple-double. Used to be called a Magic Johnson

"The LeBron" is already taken. It's a [U]FLOP[/U] shot.

[caniac6]

Oral Roberts- a heeled driver.

[cipher]

Oral Roberts- a heeled driver.

LOL, or maybe a Benny Hinn!

[JAMaloney1]

How about "Breakfast Ball" instead of taking a Mulligan.  Take a Breakfast Ball (because you're not warmed up yet, haven't eaten breakfast, etc..)

[RoyJeeBiv]

Whenever my dad hits behind the shot, he likes to say he 'hit the big green ball before the little white ball'.

[saevel25]

When you top your go for it 2nd shot on a par 5, and it rolls down the middle of the fair to a middle to low iron shot - Strategic Layup

[Slice of Life]

I just pretty much quote the following lines from Happy Gilmore: "Soooomebody's clooooser!" "Here's a free lesson...*hit ball*...can't learn that in a hockey rink." "Uh-oh, Happy learned how to putt!" "Why won't you just go home...that's your home...are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME!!!" "Just remember baby, it's aaaall in the hips yeah it's all in the hips!" "Thanks for dressing up." "Sorry but if I saw myself in clothes like that I'd kick my own ass." "Just taaaap it in. Just taaaap it in. Give it a little tappy. Tap tap tap-a-roo!" "Where were you on that one dipshit?" "Oh yeah, I didn't see him play. I was too busy winning." "I'm gonna beat your ass on the course."

[That is Good]

Persimmon woods had inserts which were screwed into the clubface.

Even though we all have metal drivers, we still refer to a well struck tee shot as being "nailed on the screws."

We're old.

[inthehole]

... any time the golf gods get involved & take one away from you (ex:  beautiful fairway shot that you think is gonna clear the tree & just clips that one low handing branch & the shot lands 50 yard short; or in my case, a beatiful low liner punch out from under trees tracking right at the green - hits the 100 yard marker way down the fairway & bounces OB) ... every one of my buddies will say in unison ... YOU GOT JACKED !!

THe reverse of this is when you hit a big pull OB & it hits the solid part of a tree & miraculously bounces back into the fairway, that is an UN-JACKED !!

Another one of my faves ... if you tee it up too high & hit a skyball ... "that ones like an elephants butt ... high and stinky".

Another buddy pulls out a classic line on occasion only when leaving a birdie putt short ... and it has to be directed at the ball by pointing a finger at it as it sits there shamefully a few inches in front of the hole ... "you f'n coward" !       The delivery is what makes it - LOL

[zipazoid]

Skied drive:

"I hit that 300 yards. A hundred up, a hundred out, a hundred down."