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I need a confidence boost.. or something like that


Unforgiven93
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Hey guys, I've played golf for around 6 years now. I'm currently a sophomore in college playing off of an official +0.1 handicap. I started playing in sanctioned tournaments outside of high school matches/tournaments in the summer of my junior year of high school. Because I started so late, my success junior and senior year of high school year got next to no recognition from college coaches, so I did not go play anywhere. I go to a big 10 university and I got turned down by the coach for even an attempt to walk on last year. It was a huge blow to my confidence. My problem now is, because of being turned down and basically told there was no way, I feel like the guys on the team are just some unreachable skill level. I feel like I can't ever be as good as them. I'm not sure how to get myself to believe I can play with the best again. I need to know I can/will win again before I actually do. Anyone have suggestions? Thanks for reading my story.

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There's an old saying, you may have heard of it. When the going gets Tuff, the Tuff get going. You can work really hard to get better, although I would be so happy to have your golfing skills, and you do have them @ your HC. Maybe find someone, a coach, a friend that has knowledge of the game to help you.

If you do nothing, you'll get nothing. Yeah, it may be harder for you compared to the guys on the team, but look at the long term, where do you want to be..?  A tour pro..? A PGA pro..? Set attainable goals, then strive to reach them, once you conquer 1 goal, go to the next. You have to Believe in yourself, and have the fortitude to press on even though it might be harder for you than others. You really have to want it more than the next guy. That's about all I can offer. I hope whatever your goals are, you reach them. Good luck.

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If golf is your passion, perhaps transferring to another school where you could play would be better.

Scott

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I'd also play as much tournament golf as you can. Some proven results there will get his attention too. I'm surprised that you didn't get at least a look by the coach. May be worth stopping by and simply asking the question, what do I have to do to get a chance to try out?

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Hey guys,

I've played golf for around 6 years now. I'm currently a sophomore in college playing off of an official +0.1 handicap. I started playing in sanctioned tournaments outside of high school matches/tournaments in the summer of my junior year of high school.

Because I started so late, my success junior and senior year of high school year got next to no recognition from college coaches, so I did not go play anywhere.

I go to a big 10 university and I got turned down by the coach for even an attempt to walk on last year. It was a huge blow to my confidence.

My problem now is, because of being turned down and basically told there was no way, I feel like the guys on the team are just some unreachable skill level. I feel like I can't ever be as good as them. I'm not sure how to get myself to believe I can play with the best again.

I need to know I can/will win again before I actually do. Anyone have suggestions?

Thanks for reading my story.

Sounds strange. Just because I was curious, when I was in college I emailed the coach of the Ohio State Golf team as to what requirements were for being a walk on. I can't remember the handicap, but it was pretty low, but never got the intention he was low balling me, trying to discourage anyone from trying out. Sounds to me you found a coach who is an !$%HOLE. Most coaches wouldn't care if a kid is a walk on or recruited if they can play.

Sadly though I doubt you will get a shot at that college.

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I'd give the coach another shot and if he refused, I'd go over his head and speak to the Athletic Director.  If your handicap is legit and you can handle the pressure of tournaments I can't imagine that you wouldn't be an asset to the team.

If that doesn't work I'd consider what @boogielicious suggested and consider transferring to another school if golf is that important to you.

Joe Paradiso

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Most successful people will use a "no" as a motivation to prove people wrong...most unsuccessful people will quit...

Ultimately it is up to you to decide what you want to do...playing college golf is only "playing college golf." There are many many other opportunities to have success in golf. Check out the USGA as well as your regional or state associations.

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Most successful people will use a "no" as a motivation to prove people wrong...most unsuccessful people will quit...

Ultimately it is up to you to decide what you want to do...playing college golf is only "playing college golf." There are many many other opportunities to have success in golf. Check out the USGA as well as your regional or state associations.

There's an old saying amongst sales professionals.  All "no" means, is that you haven't given them enough information to say "yes" yet......

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In David's bag....

Driver: Titleist 910 D-3;  9.5* Diamana Kai'li
3-Wood: Titleist 910F;  15* Diamana Kai'li
Hybrids: Titleist 910H 19* and 21* Diamana Kai'li
Irons: Titleist 695cb 5-Pw

Wedges: Scratch 51-11 TNC grind, Vokey SM-5's;  56-14 F grind and 60-11 K grind
Putter: Scotty Cameron Kombi S
Ball: ProV1

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There's an old saying, you may have heard of it. When the going gets Tuff, the Tuff get going. You can work really hard to get better, although I would be so happy to have your golfing skills, and you do have them @ your HC. Maybe find someone, a coach, a friend that has knowledge of the game to help you. If you do nothing, you'll get nothing. Yeah, it may be harder for you compared to the guys on the team, but look at the long term, where do you want to be..?  A tour pro..? A PGA pro..? Set attainable goals, then strive to reach them, once you conquer 1 goal, go to the next. You have to Believe in yourself, and have the fortitude to press on even though it might be harder for you than others. You really have to want it more than the next guy. That's about all I can offer. I hope whatever your goals are, you reach them. Good luck.

That is great advice... I have already decided this will be a great year for me. I'm going to work longer and better than I have in the past. I have been studying electrical engineering so I don't get much time to play, but recently I decided to switch to mechanical engineering. I dropped my EE classes for the semester, so I have tons of time now, and I am going to dedicate a lot of that time to practicing golf. I have 2 main goals this year: get my handicap lower than it has ever been (I need to get to +1) and win at least one tournament. I didn't win last year. I came close, with a T2, and a couple 3 place finishes. I have had trouble finding a coach I click with. I actually got some lessons from the assistant coach here at my university. He is a very talented player and was a good coach, but it is very expensive. I feel like saying that my goal is to be a touring pro is too high, because I know how difficult that is. Especially since I started playing so late in my life. I would love to be able to play in a professional event someday though. @boogielicious , I have looked into transferring but my dad (who is paying for school) very much wants me to get a great education at a low price, which I am getting currently. @David in FL , I played in somewhere around 10 tournaments in the fall and summer. I was about 2 shots worse on average than I was the previous year, probably because of a mixture of confidence and no longer being a junior tour, although I think it was mostly confidence. I went from playing against middle-high level juniors in my state to Club pros and the best amateurs. I felt more pressure to perform than before and it usually didn't end well. I did have a few good finished and qualified and made the cut at a couple bigger events though, so there were some good moments. @saevel25 / newtogolf there is actually a guy that I played against 4 times my senior year in high school who plays for ohio state now. He finished 1 shot better than me after those 4 rounds. There is actually a new Men's golf coach at my university...I just feel like I don't have a chance and I don't want to get turned down again. When I met with the old coach while I was still in high school, he used the fact that all his golfers were scratch to try to impress me and make me realize I wasnt good enough. At the time I was around a 4 handicap, but I knew I would be scratch in a couple years at the rate I was improving. Sadly, I found, with the few coaches I talked to at least, they do not care about potential, because there is someone out there who is ALREADY where they want you to be. I really need to learn how to not write books as responses... :)

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To be honest, I don't care so much that I don't play for my school's team anymore. I joined the club team last semester and have a blast with those guys. What I am concerned with mostly is that I don't feel like I can ever be as good as the guys on the real team because of being turned down. I just have to realize that isn't true to start playing at my full potential. It's similar to when you get a couple shots under par during a round, and you have this flash of thought "I'm playing better than I am capable of right now, this wont last" and then it inevitably doesn't last, purely because you thought it couldn't. That is pretty much my entire golf game in a nutshell.

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To be honest, I don't care so much that I don't play for my school's team anymore. I joined the club team last semester and have a blast with those guys. What I am concerned with mostly is that I don't feel like I can ever be as good as the guys on the real team because of being turned down. I just have to realize that isn't true to start playing at my full potential.

It's similar to when you get a couple shots under par during a round, and you have this flash of thought "I'm playing better than I am capable of right now, this wont last" and then it inevitably doesn't last, purely because you thought it couldn't. That is pretty much my entire golf game in a nutshell.

It's OK to "care" that you have been omitted or turned down. These are great tools to motivate yourself...now what are you going to do to motivate yourself? Are you going to go be a big fish in a little pond by playing only with guys you know you are better then or are you going to set a goal of qualifying for....say the US Amateur...if you set that goal then maybe you will work harder and practice more. I was in the golf business years ago...one of the things I'd have junior players do that I could tell had the fear of going low is have them play tees where they would shoot really low...this can be fun. Go play a round of golf and play the most forward tees you can find...the ladies tees or what have you. Challenge yourself to shoot 4,5, 6 or 7 under par. You still have to hit the shots and make the putts. Let this prove you can shoot low and then move back to your tees.

Find some small money games with some really good players....

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It bothers me that I got turned down, but at this point I realize how difficult it wouldve been to major in engineering and spend 30 hours a week with the golf team. For me, I'm not sure it wouldve been possible. For some really, really smart people, maybe it would have been okay. I tried the short tee method one time last year and it was a lot of fun actually. I'm not sure why I didn't do it again. Seems like it could really be helpful. I shot -3 on a course I had never gone below 75 on because I always played it from the tips. I know I can go very low in tournaments, because I have. I just have to learn how to do it more often.

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It bothers me that I got turned down, but at this point I realize how difficult it wouldve been to major in engineering and spend 30 hours a week with the golf team. For me, I'm not sure it wouldve been possible. For some really, really smart people, maybe it would have been okay.

I tried the short tee method one time last year and it was a lot of fun actually. I'm not sure why I didn't do it again. Seems like it could really be helpful. I shot -3 on a course I had never gone below 75 on because I always played it from the tips.

I know I can go very low in tournaments, because I have. I just have to learn how to do it more often.

Interesting, as I am in a similar situation. I have been playing for 5 1/2 years and picked up a club when I was 20. You can read my post but I walked on a college program. I e-mailed about 6 coaches around the St. Louis area and because I didn't have ANY high school or previous tournament experience, no one would talk to me. Except for a D3 coach. I got on and the D3 coach treated me like I had played for 10 years of my life and I wasn't his favorite, but I had only played for one year. The good thing about that? I was able to travel and play in the top 5. Only way to play in tournaments... anyways- the way I look at him now is that he never really gave me the time of day but I am thankful he put me on his team. Now some omy motivation comes when there is a local event, knowing he will be seeing how people are doing, and throw up a better number than the top 2 guys. Turn the rejection into a motivator and move on. My goal is to win a tournament this year and I just signed up for my first US Open Local Qualifier. I am WAY better than I was in college and I am thankful to some degree of the rejection I received when playing in college.

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I need to sign up for the US open qualifier also. I just signed up for 7 in state tournaments yesterday. Plus I have 3 NCCGA events this spring, assuming my team makes it to nationals. How many times have you shot in the 60s?

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Not too many, maybe 12-15 times in the last year and a half. but I always play the tips and try and play the hardest courses available. Also- I would consider myself more of a par golfer; make 4 birdies hopefully a round, 4 bogeys for an even par round. I average 11 pars around so it comes down to the last 7 that make or break me. I need to work on putting this year pretty heavily to get more birdies. But I go out and shoot 71-74 pretty consistently on those courses, which brings my handicap down. If I play a short course(6000 yards or less) I can throw up a 65-67 but I don't really count those as rounds considering every hole is a birdie hole. I have blow up rounds though still too- the only thing that matters is that I am progressing at all times. I have only played 2 rounds this year and worked on a few things at the end of last season that are just showing up. The way I look at it is it doesn't matter what you did yesterday, it matters what you do today or tomorrow. My goal is to have a scoring average in tournaments to a 74 from a 78 last year. I have only played 5.5 years so 78 isn't by any means tour level but I am still progressing. The reason why I entered is because I know that if I end up having a good day, I have a chance. If I have an okay day- no chance, but still worth it for 150 bucks at a nice course and I will get a practice round.

I need to sign up for the US open qualifier also. I just signed up for 7 in state tournaments yesterday. Plus I have 3 NCCGA events this spring, assuming my team makes it to nationals.

How many times have you shot in the 60s?

Not too many, maybe 12-15 times in the last year and a half. but I always play the tips and try and play the hardest courses available. Also- I would consider myself more of a par golfer; make 4 birdies hopefully a round, 4 bogeys for an even par round. I average 11 pars around so it comes down to the last 7 that make or break me. I need to work on putting this year pretty heavily to get more birdies. But I go out and shoot 71-76 pretty consistently on those courses, which brings my handicap down. If I play a short course(6000 yards or less) I can throw up a 65-67 but I don't really count those as rounds considering every hole is a birdie hole. I have blow up rounds though still too- the only thing that matters is that I am progressing at all times. I have only played 2 rounds this year and worked on a few things at the end of last season that are just showing up. The way I look at it is it doesn't matter what you did yesterday, it matters what you do today or tomorrow. My goal is to have a scoring average in tournaments to a 74 from a 78 last year. I have only played 5.5 years so 78 isn't by any means tour level but I am still progressing. The reason why I entered is because I know that if I end up having a good day, I have a chance. If I have an okay day- no chance, but still worth it for 150 bucks at a nice course and I will get a practice round.

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See that's an interesting difference to me. I average around 74 in tournaments, but I have only shot in the 60s twice in my life. Once on a hard course in a junior tour championship where I put up -4 from 7000 yds and won by 7 shots, and once last year from like 6250 yards in a recreational round. I shoot 70-74 a ton, but as you can see I almost never dip into the 60s. I have to fix that. I was on my way to another tournament round in the 60s last year, but I bogeyed and then took an 8 on the 15th and 16th to shoot 73. Two pars and I wouldve won. Finshed T6. I actually score a little better on average in tournaments.

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See that's an interesting difference to me. I average around 74 in tournaments, but I have only shot in the 60s twice in my life. Once on a hard course in a junior tour championship where I put up -4 from 7000 yds and won by 7 shots, and once last year from like 6250 yards in a recreational round. I shoot 70-74 a ton, but as you can see I almost never dip into the 60s. I have to fix that. I was on my way to another tournament round in the 60s last year, but I bogeyed and then took an 8 on the 15th and 16th to shoot 73. Two pars and I wouldve won. Finshed T6.

I actually score a little better on average in tournaments.

I am beginning to score better in tournaments as well. My 60's aren't 65's.. they are 68's or 69's and I still have yet to do it in tournaments if that is what you were asking. For tournaments, Last year I had an 87 and a 90(trying to force birdies), which brought up my average big time. but then had three 73's a 72 and a 71. I also was jumping back in to tournament golf last year after taking a year and a half off after college of tournament golf. When I was in college I played 4th or 5th man and when I left, was shooting 78-85. I knew I had to get better if I was going to start up in amateur events again. So I practiced and got better and I needed to learn tourney golf again. I still haven't won an event, but last year I got a 2nd, 2nd, and 3rd out of 8 tournaments. The other ones I was playing against an extremely strong field that offered a World Ranking points for amateurs, or local championships with all of the best golfers from central Missouri to central Illinois. So for my first year back, I learned a lot about playing tournament golf again. I feel that is why I will make such a drop in scoring average this year and stay away from bigger numbers.

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Sounds like good things are coming for you for sure. I have played tournament golf for 3 summers in a row now so I am a little more in the swing of things. Pun intended. Good luck this year, definitely sounds like you are ready to win.

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