Jeans, Golf Courses, and Father-in-laws

[Roody]

So I wake up at 6:30 this morning in order to get ready for a 7:57 tee time I have with my father-in-law at one of our semi-private courses in the area. It's only about 44 degrees, and it's still a little wet from yesterday's rains.

Anyways, I head out and get there about a half hour before tee time. My father-in-law pulls in at about the same time. He gets out, and is already cranky about the cold and wet, I just tell him that's supposed to get up to 66 degrees today, hang in there.

We get to the pro-shop. This is a semi-private club that up until this past year was 100% private. They had some financial troubles and had to open it up to the public. Anyways, I hand the guy my card to pay for my round, and he swipes it and then looks at my father-in-law and says "you can't wear jeans here, it's against club rules". I actually kinda froze, because I was half-expecting a profanity laced argument to break out. My father-in-law is a good guy and all, but he has the occasional temper issues.

Suprisingly, he restrained himself well. No swearing, but he tried to argue it saying "what's the big deal?". Other than the jeans, he had a collared shirt, golf windbreaker, nice golf hat. The guy at the pro-shop wouldn't budge. So my father-in-law says "fine, I guess you don't need my money" and proceeds to leave.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I look back on it and part of me thinks I should have left with him. Not because I think he was right, but because he's family (by marriage). However, I didn't leave, the guy had already charged my credit card, and I wanted to play golf. Also, I don't think you should be wearing jeans to a golf course, especially one that is semi-private. Technically, he's hurting no one, but the rules are the rules.

It gets better.

I walked out to the parking lot and said "sorry about all that, yadda yadda", and he goes to start his truck. Truck wouldn't start. So I had to jump his truck for him. He goes on his way, and I go back and as I'm walking back I hear the pro-shop guy talking to the head pro about it. I keep walking to my cart, and then a couple minutes later the pro-shop guy comes over.

"I know this is gonna sound bad, but we decided that the rule is a little silly, especially at this time of year, so we just changed it. Can you give your partner a call and see if he can come back? We'll let him play for free because we feel bad about this".

I called my father-in-law's cell. He answers, and apparently his truck stopped on him again along the way home. So now he's even more grumpy. After listening to him talk about the truck for a minute or two, I tell him about the offer. His answer was "well you can tell them to go F themselves, he could have just let me go through the first time without this hassle".

So I tell the guy "no, he's not gonna come back", leaving the colorful part of his comments out of it. A couple minutes later the guy comes over and hands me a card for two free rounds of golf with cart, telling me once again how he felt bad about it, and he hopes we'll come back again.

Now, I've always been in the frame of mind that no matter what kind of course I am going to play, I ALWAYS dress in appropriate golf attire. I never dress in jeans, it doesn't matter if I was going to play Pebble Beach or the P.O.S. 9-hole course down the street.

I was torn at what to do. One part of me wanted to say to my father-in-law "why the hell are you wearing jeans??!! What is so hard about throwing on a pair of Dockers? It's not a hard rule to follow". The other part of me wanted to say to the pro-shop guy "what's the difference? It's not like he's dressed like a total slob. In the grand scheme of things he's not hurting anyone". Instead I pretty much just stood there, quiet, not really knowing what to say. It's not the first time my father-in-law has gotten a little cranky with pro-shop staff.

I don't know. I talked to my father-in-law afterwards and he said that if I was the one in jeans, he would have stood up for me and left with me. My wife's not home from shopping yet, but something tells me I'm gonna be in trouble

[Harold]

A dress code is a dress code and if a player wants to play on a course that requires a certain image than either it must be done or play elsewhere. This is coming from someone who will never wear a collared shirt or slacks to play golf much less any other sporting event. Golf origins were sheepherders hitting sheep terds around the pasture for goodness sakes .

[Warik]

First off let me say that I'm totally envious of your weather. I'm about to head out to play some 95 degree golf.

Anyway, you probably should have left too, but I know how tough the game's addiction can be... especially when you're minutes away from teeing off. Were I your father-in-law, though, I would have come back after the offer for the free round just for the satisfying "HAH! I win!" feeling. Hopefully he'll come back to use one of the two free round coupons.

I would never wear jeans to a golf course either. I'm always in golf shorts with a tucked in collared shirt. I have a buddy I play with infrequently who is notorious for showing up in denim shorts and a tshirt, so I always keep a spare pair of shorts and collared shirt in my trunk just in case he gets denied admittance (and I get to tell him told you so).


P.S. Buy your wife flowers. Quick. You are so dead.

[Roody]

First off let me say that I'm totally envious of your weather. I'm about to head out to play some 95 degree golf.

Don't be envious, I'd gladly trade. There's nothing worse than teeing off in cold weather with no warmup (because I was screwing around with jumping his car, etc). Plus I've got extra layers of clothing on, and it totally screws with my swing. I just don't feel right when I'm cold and all bundled up.

Anyway, you probably should have left too, but I know how tough the game's addiction can be... especially when you're minutes away from teeing off.

Yeah, I probably should have. One thing I didn't mention was that he called me about an hour before the round and asked "are you gonna go? It's only 44 degrees out, it's awful cold". When I told him I was still going to go and that it would warm up, he said "ohhh, alright, I guess I will get all bundled up and go" - I don't think he really wanted to play to begin with.

Also, it's hard to have packed up my stuff and left because I personally didn't agree with him. It's a dress code for a reason. He's played there before with me, granted it was in warmer weather so he wore khaki shorts at that time. But he should have known, at least I think. And the pro-shop guy was only doing his job.

[Shindig]

Hindsight is 20/20, and I look back on it and part of me thinks I should have left with him. Not because I think he was right, but because he's family (by marriage). However, I didn't leave, the guy had already charged my credit card, and I wanted to play golf. Also, I don't think you should be wearing jeans to a golf course, especially one that is semi-private. Technically, he's hurting no one, but the rules are the rules.

If he were going 55 in a school zone, would you do it too just to keep up with him? While the speed limit in a school zone is a bit more important of a rule than a dress code, it's still a rule he should have known. When I'm in doubt about a dress code, I call ahead. Denim at a course that was private in the recent past is a no-brainer, in my mind. I don't understand the other posts saying you're in trouble. He could've ruined your round with his behavior.

[bwinger79]

I would never give that course my money again. I understand that a dress code is a dress code, but the difference between jeans and a pair of Dockers is the color they are dyed. Both made of the same material, cotton. I really dont understand some of the rules, rather, customs, that some courses try to adhere to. Some of the most strict I have seen are POS courses too. I am glad your father in law told that course to go F themselves. Guess you know why they are in financial trouble. I could see if you guys were in a tournament, or if there was TV coverage to your round, but I dont think that was the case. Just pro shop guys being A-holes.

[Undr Par]

wow, I hope my Daughter never marries a guy like you then.....blood is thicker then water there boss....you should have left with your Father in Law.......theres a notch against you come Christmas (and should be)......all sarcasm by the way only joking with you.

Seriously though, rules are rules, and even though jeans may not be a issue with some people (courses) there are some who don't want them to be worn......if it's a rule then follow the rule, if the course doesn't allow them simply don't wear them. For you I would have stayed as well....and honestly don't beat yourself up, the guy told you to call him and he could play for FREE, so he had his chance to play.....good for you for staying imho.

[Big Don]

I don't think its very difficult to turn up properly dressed? Anybody who's been playing golf for a while knows that jeans aren't going to be acceptable at most golf clubs.

I have more of a problem with the clubs who don't accept modern golf attire. Some of them would be requiring you to wear plus fours, a cloth cap and a tweed jacket if they could get of with it.

[Roody]

wow, I hope my Daughter never marries a guy like you then.....blood is thicker then water there boss....you should have left with your Father in Law.......theres a notch against you come Christmas (and should be)......all sarcasm by the way only joking with you.

LOL. Only thing is, he's not blood. Yeah, I'm sure I lost some points with him, but oh well. I'm still his favorite son-in-law (he often jokes how I'm his favorite, especially since I'm his only son-in-law).

Seriously though, rules are rules, and even though jeans may not be a issue with some people (courses) there are some who don't want them to be worn......if it's a rule then follow the rule, if the course doesn't allow them simply don't wear them. For you I would have stayed as well....and honestly don't beat yourself up, the guy told you to call him and he could play for FREE, so he had his chance to play.....good for you for staying imho.

Agreed. I tried to call him to get him to come back, but not only was he pissed about the whole incident, he also had his truck not running very well either (turns out it was his alternator). So even if he was able to check his pride at the door, I'm not sure he could have even gotten back to the course :)

Good news is they gave me a card for the free golf for two, and I talked him into coming with me for free next weekend before he sent them a nasty email through their website.

I don't think its very difficult to turn up properly dressed? Anybody who's been playing golf for a while knows that jeans aren't going to be acceptable at most golf clubs.

Also agreed. Like I said, I always err on the side of caution and dress in golf attire for every course I go to. Even the crappy ones. For a guy who plays as much as I do, I think it's necessary to have a decent amount of golf-related clothing in my closet.

I think today's standards for golf attire are a lot more relaxed than they used to be. We should be happy that we don't have to dress the way they used to. Therefore IMHO I don't think it's too much to ask to not wear jeans.

[Cooker]

Am I wrong to assume that the average golfer knows of proper etiquette (No Jeans or cutoffs, Collared Shirt)? Definitely a nice gesture from the pro to give you guys free rounds, though not necessary. I Also would have done the same thing as you and stuck around, finished my round and invited my father in law to go another time with the free rounds.

[DBake]

A dress code is a dress code and if a player wants to play on a course that requires a certain image than either it must be done or play elsewhere. This is coming from someone who will never wear a collared shirt or slacks to play golf much less any other sporting event. Golf origins were sheepherders hitting sheep terds around the pasture for goodness sakes

I guess thats why your a 19+ handicap.

I'm not saying that I do wear jeans to the course, but when I do I am just there to practice on the range and putting or chipping green.

[Berfy]

I personally don't think your clothing attire has anything to do with the way you golf. But i do belive that people should atleast not look like a slob on the course.

[Harold]

I guess thats why your a 19+ handicap.

I'm a 19 handicap because that's the way I play. Clothes have nothing to do with it. We both can prove it. You can go out dressed in jeans with a Seahawks jersey or sweats with a cut-off tank top and you will golf the same as you did last week. I can go out in a zoot suit and I still will golf the same I did last week. Golf is not about image. It's about results.

[JustMe]

During the winter my son will wear jeans and a mock or collared shirt for high school practice, never tournaments, but here's the kicker, he throws on his cold weather pants on over his jeans and no one is wiser.

To the OP, get your father in law a good set of rain gear to stash in his truck for Christmas.

[NM Golf]

Dress codes are there for a reason, jeans an tshirts look like crap on a golf course. The course where I work unfortunately doesn't have one. They are a good thing but that is off topic.
the fact is your father in law should have known better and I would have played anyway too.

[Fourputt]

Dress codes are there for a reason, jeans an tshirts look like crap on a golf course. The course where I work unfortunately doesn't have one. They are a good thing but that is off topic.

I have seen guys who were "properly" dressed who looked like worse slobs than any average person in jeans. A guy who checked in at my starter booth this week was wearing a pair of shorts that looked more like swim trunks than golf shorts, and a peach colored shirt that looked like it had been stuffed in a sack and pulled out just before he got to the course (it would have been less wrinkled if he had slept in it the night before)... and the shorts and shirt weren't even from the same food group, much less of complementary styles or colors.

IMO, there is no reason to bar jeans from a golf course. A player should be presentable, and that can be most anything that is neat, clean and covers an appropriate amount of skin. I don't hold with t-shirts (plain white undershirts) or tank tops, or clothes full of holes. But I don't see the requirement for collared shirts when even Tiger doesn't wear one, and most t-shirts you see these days are designed as outerwear. My father-in-law's course is a nice little 9 hole country course in northeastern Colorado that caters to farmers and other rural citizens. It is not unusual for a man to hop off his tractor, go the course for a quick 9 holes, then head back to the field to till another 40 acres before dark. I have seen guys in bib overalls and a tee shirt out there playing, and I applaud them for finding the time in a grueling and difficult lifestyle to have the same passion for golf as I have. If you tried to lay a "dress code" on them, they'd just laugh in your face... or as likely run you out of the county. But with all that..... I would never show up at an unfamiliar course wearing jeans. I simply know enough to be aware that you're just asking for trouble by doing that. Although I think it's a stuffy policy, it's the right of the course to make their own rules, and I'll abide by them.

[JeffG]

My father-in-law's course is a nice little 9 hole country course in northeastern Colorado that caters to farmers and other rural citizens. It is not unusual for a man to hop off his tractor, go the course for a quick 9 holes, then head back to the field to till another 40 acres before dark. I have seen guys in bib overalls and a tee shirt out there playing, and I applaud them for finding the time in a grueling and difficult lifestyle to have the same passion for golf as I have. If you tried to lay a "dress code" on them, they'd just laugh in your face... or as likely run you out of the county.

Agreed. My 9-hole course has its share of golfers that dress very nice and several that dress very casual (jeans..untucked T-shirt) and a few that dress almost comically. Just yesterday (in a scramble/tournament no-less), I saw a guy in cut-off blue jean shorts, with a sleevless shirt, a backwards hat, and "golf flip flops" that had little tee-holders on them!

[JustMe]

Agreed. My 9-hole course has its share of golfers that dress very nice and several that dress very casual (jeans..untucked T-shirt) and a few that dress almost comically. Just yesterday (in a scramble/tournament no-less), I saw a guy in cut-off blue jean shorts, with a sleevless shirt, a backwards hat, and "golf flip flops" that had little tee-holders on them!

LOL...my kid has those flip flops, though he wouldn't be caught dead in them at a golf course.