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Great golfing quotes


9wood
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One lesson is 1,000 Pounds.  Five lessons are 150 pounds.  If you want a miracle you will have to pay for it. - Sign in a England Pro Shop

No matter how badly you are playing you could always play worse - Anonymous

 

-Jerry

Driver: Titleist 913 D3 (9.5 degree) – Aldila RIP 60-2.9-Stiff; Callaway Mini-Driver Kura Kage 60g shaft - 12 degree Hybrids: Callway X2 Hot Pro - 16 degree & 23 degree – Pro-Shaft; Callway X2 Hot – 5H & 6H Irons: Titleist 714 AP2 7 thru AW with S300 Dynamic Gold Wedges: Titleist Vokey GW (54 degree), Callaway MackDaddy PM Grind SW (58 degree) Putter: Ping Cadence TR Ketsch Heavy Balls: Titleist Pro V1x & Snell MyTourBall

"Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots but you have to play the ball where it lies."- Bobby Jones

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Give golf a try my friend said. It's very challenging he said. To which I replied, sure but so is tossing a marble into a shot glass from 200 feet.

 

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"I am a stupid."   Roberto de Vicenzo, upon being penalized for signing for an *extra* stroke, thus missing a playoff in the 1968 Masters

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I'm not good enough to be mad after a bad shot!  -- Unknown

Philippe

:callaway: Maverick Driver, 3W, 5W Big Bertha 
:mizuno: JPX 900 Forged 4-GW
:mizuno:  T7 55-09 and 60-10 forged wedges,
:odyssey: #7 putter (Slim 3.0 grip)

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  • 2 weeks later...

"Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly 40 years to discover that I can't play it." - Ted Ray

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My two favorites:

"Its not how, its how many"  Not sure who said it first but one of my golfing buddies says it every time someone hits a bad shot that ends up good.

 

"A doctor who shoots in the 90s needs to practice more golf... a doctor who shoots in the 70s needs to practice more medicine". 

Titleist 915 D, 3W, 3H

TaylorMade RocketBladez 4I-AW

Cleveland 588 RTX 2.0 56 degree SW and 60 degree LW

Scotty Cameron Newport 2 Dual Balance

Bridgestone B330

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"Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result." - Tommy Armour

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"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five." Paul Harvey

The ultimate "old man" setup:

Ping G30 driver
Ping G Fairway woods - 5 and 7 woods
Callaway X-Hot #5 hybrid; Old school secret weapon
Ping G #6-9 irons; W and U wedges
Vokey 54 and 58* Wedges
Odyssey Versa Putter
Golf Balls

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You're Never a 14 handicap! Hitting balls like that!!!

End of round

Nice playing with you, you scored net 80, you know you should really stay out of bunkers!

Attributed to my fellow members, all of them

did any one see that?

No

I hate golf

Probably happens to everyone

Titleist 910 D3, Cobra f speed 3 wood, Cobra f speed 7 wood, Ben hogan 35th anniversary Legend irons 2-E Wilson staff lob wedge, scotty Newport mid slant 2.5. Or 3-sw mizuno tzoid pro 11 blades " Golf is a strange game played by strange people in strange clothes then all of a sudden it's not" rap 2014

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<speaking about the expense of golf>

Not many people want to pay a premium to be frustrated all day and spent a lot of money. Otherwise, people would be having more children, and they're not really.

- Ryan Ballengee

 

Excellent perspective about golf's recent economic 'woes' - recommend a read: http://thegolfnewsnet.com/ryan_ballengee/2013/06/12/golfs-participation-problem-inability-change-6748/

Kevin

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"I'm not going left of those trees or right of those trees.  I'm going over those trees, with a little draw."

"The only thing that bothers me today is insufficient applause."

Totally cheesy movie, but I love Tin Cup.

Kevin

Titleist 910 D3 9.5* with ahina 72 X flex
Titleist 910F 13.5* with ahina 72 X flex
Adams Idea A12 Pro hybrid 18*; 23* with RIP S flex
Titleist 712 AP2 4-9 iron with KBS C-Taper, S+ flex
Titleist Vokey SM wedges 48*, 52*, 58*
Odyssey White Hot 2-ball mallet, center shaft, 34"

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Here's my idea for a f***ing sport. I knock a ball in a gopher hole.

— Like pool?

— F*** off pool. Not with a straight stick, with a little f***ed up stick. I whack a ball, it goes in a gopher hole.

— Oh, you mean like croquet?

— F*** croquet! I put the hole hundreds of yards away. Oh, f*** of ya! Big fun, yeah!

— Oh, like a bowling thing?

— F*** no! Not straight. I put shit in the way. Like trees and bushes and high grass. So you can lose you f***ing ball. And go hacking away with a f***ing tire iron. Whacking away, and each time you miss you feel like you'll have a stroke. F*** that's what we'll call it, a stroke, cause each time you miss you feel like you're gonna f***ing die. Oh great, oh and here's the better part. F***, this is brilliant! Right near the end, I'll put a little flat piece with a little flag to give you f***ing hope. But then I'll put a little pool and a sand box, to f*** with your ball again. Ay, you'll be there cracking you ass, jacking away in the sand.

— And you do this one time?

— F*** no! f***ing eighteen times! That's my idea of a sport!"

ROBIN WILLIAMS RIP

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  • 2 months later...

8% of golfers play 150 rounds of golf per year. 92% of golfers are jealous of the 8% who do.

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Note: This thread is 2884 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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