How would you react to this???

**Augusta Hacker** · February 17, 2009

I play with the same 3 guys every Sunday in a friendly little skins game....nothing big, $1 a hole and winner has to be par or better. We normally have a couple of carryovers either by everyone getting bogeys or someone splitting with pars.

Anyway, this past sunday, I won 5 of the first 8 holes and cruising. We normally have some "spirited" trash talking going on that occurs between shots or in the carts. Holes 9, 10, and 11 carry over and we are on 12 tee box. This is a par 4 that I try to carry the corner to drive the green or just off the green. Normally I will be in the trees and sets up for a bad score so I chose a 3 wood trying to play smart. As I am on the tee box, I go thru my routine with one exception. I stopped doing a practice swing and it seemed to help my confidence. So I pick my target, pick my spot in front of the ball, take a step to my left, line up, waggle, and JUST when I am going to pull the trigger.....one of the guys puts the cart in reverse and beeps. So, I back out....flustered.....go through again and freaking shank one. I was livid......the remaining holes, I hit shots without really giving a crap and just tripled my way to the clubhouse. For the remainder of that hole, I showed my ass and made sure I made noise during their routines to "prove a point".....I know, immature but like I said....I was livid.....

Knowing this wasn't the mature way to handle the situation, how would you have handled this situation?

February 17, 2009

that's real dick man. Why would he do that? Did he at least apologize?

**Jay-Bird** · February 17, 2009

BEFORE THE SHOT:
You shouldn't have made the swing until you were ready. You could've backed off for a minute or two - to realize it was his way of saying "Man this guy is destroying us, and one of us has to win this hole to even him out a bit..."

Calm your heart rate, check to make sure your "confidence" isn't over-confidence, and win the hole.

AFTER the shot: you have to gather yourself right there and make sure you finish the round playing YOUR GAME, not into their hands. Breathe deeply and block out everything - block out your previous good play, your recent shot ... everything, just concentrate on calming down. (Breathing deeply is a far better medicine than laughter. Laughter is just a primitive form of novacane.)

From experience on both the winning and losing side of such occurances, you're best to chalk it up to just that - a learning experience. And don't make the same mistake next time.

**Augusta Hacker** · February 17, 2009

That is what made me so danged mad....he laughed it off and didn't say crap. I did, however, send all 3 an email the following day apologizing for my behavior on that hole.

I appreciate the comments Jay-Bird....it is definately an experience I will learn from....that one event completely ruined my round and the rest of my day. I have no problem when someone hands me my hat on the course through good play. To add insult to injury, he won that hole and picked up a few skins. Fortunately my front 9 carried me so that I walked away with cash instead of just donating completely after my meltdown.

**lumpuckeroo** · February 17, 2009

I agree with Jay-Bird but after the shot, I would have made sure my "good nature ribbing" was on the verge of gamesmanship. Thinks like, you always seem to find the trees on this hole don't you, 150 yard 8 iron, never seen you hit one that far before, hope you chip off this soft ground better then me, I always seem to chunk it and try and get this three foot putt close.

But that's just me, Mr. Vegas.......

**Augusta Hacker** · February 17, 2009

LOL...that is our normal talk during the round but once you are ready to go, everyone is respectful and waits until you have hit. It is a running joke that we "congratulate" everyone "making" their winning putt right after teh ball is struck as a way of "reverse" psychology.

**LBlack14** · February 17, 2009

Don't stoop to his level.

**lumpuckeroo** · February 17, 2009

Next week eat a lot of beans and Mexican food and then just before the swing on an important hole, pass a little gas, out loud......

**HytrewQasdfg** · February 17, 2009

The guy that starts a fight never seems to get in trouble, it is the guy that escalates it. I'm sure you friends afterwards spent more time talking about your poor behavior than the guy that started it.

I would have stepped away from the ball, looked directly at the guy, and in a good natured manner said "Having some problems with the cart?" and calmly waited for a response. That's it. Just highlight his poor sportsmanship for everyone to see. Nobody likes being put in the spotlight when they are acting like a jerk.

**Riverologist** · February 17, 2009

For a 16 index Hacker, you really got worked up. My guess you would of choked regardless and your inability to regain your composure shows how much of a Chopper you really are. Good players play through those bumps and find ways to score.

**Augusta Hacker** · February 17, 2009

I agree.....and that is one of my big reasons I am still a 16......I have a hangover on a bad hole and then my 8 over round is now 18. I am really working hard on the mental part of the game.....if I can calm down when I play, I will lower that index.

**LBlack14** · February 17, 2009

For a 16 index Hacker, you really got worked up. My guess you would of choked regardless and your inability to regain your composure shows how much of a Chopper you really are. Good players play through those bumps and find ways to score.

Not necessary.

**Riverologist** · February 17, 2009

Not necessary.

It's called tough love.

Relax

**kafka01** · February 17, 2009

Unless it was accidental (sometimes my cart beeps accidental when being on a down/upslope without the parking break) i would given him an annoyed look to stop it - and that´s it.
Why should it influence my shot or even the further round - i couldnt care less.
If my next shot would be a shank or fat/topped the first thing i would do is looking for a mistake in my swing and trying to get rid of it.

**Puttin4Bird** · February 17, 2009

You certainly didn't handle the situation real great, but you're well aware of that. Basically you have to learn that if you're going to play those games and a little gamesmanship is common then you have to learn to deal with it and still play good. As someone else said, you really should have just backed off the shot and went all the way through your routine again- obviously you were playing well so you should have been able to regroup and pull off the shot. But it sounds like even before the cart thing you were getting out of your game by hitting driver on that hole, if you don't normally hit driver why do it in that case? Stick to your game and keep the mental side of things strong when it's going well like that.

**Spackler-esque** · February 17, 2009

It's called tough love.

No...

Ditch that line about how much of a "Chopper" he is and the part about how he, obviously, would've choked anyway... And it's almost constructive. After all, extolling the virtues of mental toughness is great. Pointing out that it separates the okay from the good and the good from the great is true. However, what you did is just called, "Being an ass," much like the guy who set off the cart. There are two good ways I can think of to deal with these kinds of situations. First is to ignore it. Forgive and forget. The second is to calmly ask the person to refrain from the offending behavior and move on. If, at that point, they want to escalate, walk away.

**rjfan91** · February 17, 2009

I wouldn't have reacted. I'm a 15 handicapper playing for $40 at most. I think amateur players try too hard to emulate bad habits of the pros. I don't require it to be quiet when I play basketball or any other game.

That being said, I think it was very unsportsmanlike of your playing friend. If you play together as much as it sounds, he had to know that you are sensitive to this type of stuff.

I'm with you on the blow up stuff. I'll have 2 or 3 bad holes after a blown up hole.

**Bump-n-MI** · February 17, 2009

How often do you see a pro throw a fit because someone's flash went off before or during his backswing……WAY too often! It makes me sick when I see someone blaming a poor shot on "noise", all they are doing is making excuses (and we all know what excuses are like). Really, how difficult is it to regain your composure after backing off a shot or to swing through a flash? Mental toughness is part of the game and learning how to cope and work through these things will help immensely, try these books: Learning to Deal 101 and Anger Mgmt 101 . The worst part is he now knows how to razzle you.

25 years ago I may have reacted and retaliated the same way you did, but c'mon, livid or not you are not a child (maybe that’s too presumptuous of me).

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