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y'ont me ta straighten ya out?


mirv
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so i'm playing on a public course a few days ago, and two guys in front of me are letting me go through. it's a par 3, about 155 yards, and i push my 7-iron. it's almost exactly pin high, but a good 40 feet right of the flag. as i'm walking up, i make some polite chatter with the guys letting me go through and mention that that pushed 7-iron pretty well tells the story of my game that day - my approaches were all a bit off, usually pushed. up to this point, over the course of 5 years, i had never ever encountered anything other than a friendly smile, maybe a shared laugh, maybe a "i know how that goes" from the other guy.

but this guy - dressed in all black and wearing a pair of sleek looking black sunglasses - puffs out his chest and says "y'ont me ta straighten ya out?"

which, for anyone who isn't getting it, is southern for "you want me to straighten you out?"

i was already taking my stance to the ball, and i had to actually stop and turn around and look at him for a second, thinking i just misheard or something. even his friend reacted strongly when the guy said it - he gave a laugh and said "whaaaat!"

"i'll straighten ya out. git on up on that next hole 'n i'll watch ya swing n' tell ya what's wrong."

"oh. no thanks. my tee shots have been fine. it's approach that's getting me."

"well if'n yer goin' right yer swingin' too fast! yer head's comin' up!"

"thanks. i'll keep that in mind."

so out of curiosity, on the next hole, once i finished, i made it a point to hang back behind the green for a minute and watch mr self-declared professional tee off. it was a really low hook - looked like it was half-topped - that managed to get out maybe 230 yards after the roll and was tangling pretty closely with the trees. and by "pretty close" i mean "about 5 feet outside the tree line." for his second shot, he hit it fat and chunked it maybe another 50 yards. i quit watching at that point, i'd seen what i wanted to see.

maybe it's just a peeve of mine, but i would never ever have the audacity to say to someone on the golf course "i'll straighten you out" no matter how good i thought i was doing. even if they asked me for advice, i'd be shy about dispensing it. i actually had some guys on the driving range ask me once to watch their swings while they hit (they'd evidently been watching me), and i was like, guys, seriously, i'm not the person to ask. i'm a 15 handicap. you don't want to get any advice from me.

that just burned my f'n biscuits, though. "y'ont me ta straighten ya out?" no, i want you to shut up. i bet he's the kind of guy who tells everyone he's basically a scratch player when, if you kept a true-blue by-the-rules score on him for a round, he'd undoubtedly fire something in the 90s, assuming he could even break 100. anyone else ever encountered this kind of thing?
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yup... i had just finished with my lessons and a major swing change so im on the range trying to work it into my game... im really struggling and some guy next to me starts a convo... it started innocent enough cuz he was hacking it around too... then he takes it upon himself to start giving me lessons... it almost made me want to go back to my old swing just to show off... no matter how polite i was he kept offering tips... so i had to bail out by saying i had to use the bathroom... man its hard to be polite sometimes when ppl dont get a clue
RUSS's avg drive - 230yrds and climbing
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Uhm, maybe he was imbibing. Or just an idiot.

Erik J. Barzeski —  I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
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Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

When i play with people i know we talk about our swings, thats it.

I wouldnt go up to some stranger who just diggs up the course and give him advice. Even if somebody asks for advice - lets say he takes it way too much inside - great, i see it and realize it, but that doesnt give me the capability to fix his problem - that´s why there is a profession like golf pro, they know how to help him. I´m busy enough with my own problems.

For me its pretty simple - if i know you, we can share tips, if i pay you, i expect you to give me advice - if none of this fits you, lets discuss weather, but NOT my swing!

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Uhm, maybe he was imbibing. Or just an idiot.

Probably a little from pile a and a little from pile b.

I love the Southern drawlish sorta thing, though. Having played a number of rounds in TN and spent a whole lot of time on the range, it sounds very familiar. A shake of the head, a laugh, and a twinge of pity for the damn fool for being such a putz. Actually, I think that twinge was just my neck cracking. Oh well.
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Jeezus mirv why ya gotta go and post bout me on the conn flabbed innernait fer? Iz juss gun help ya with yur airn play

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At least you weren't his playing partner.

driver: FT-i tlcg 9.5˚ (Matrix Ozik XCONN Stiff)
4 wood: G10 (ProLaunch Red FW stiff)
3 -PW: :Titleist: 695 mb (Rifle flighted 6.0)
wedges:, 52˚, 56˚, 60˚
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Note: This thread is 5459 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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