When you pay for stuff with ball markers.
When you wake up from a nightmare, and it was because you couldn't stop slicing OB...
While you are standing at bus stop, you are doing air golf swings oblivious of others near by. If fact, you do it in crowded food court, while taking a shower, standing in the rain, ... People who know nothing about golf think you are crazy.
You call "fore" to warn others on anything. When an old man is about to fall down on stairs, you call fore. When someone is about to spill coffee, you call fore. In your nightmare, you call fore. Fore!
You turn your house into a miniature golf course.
You are the only one playing golf in your family but there are 3 bags full of golf clubs in the garage. You never, ever put any of them on garage sale in case your son decides to pick up golf later.
You lie to your wife about how you don't spend much money on golf.
The only reason your wife is not divorcing you is b/c you leave her alone on Saturday.
Your life is miserable during winter, and is constantly thinking about moving to a place you can play golf all year around.
You scour the internet for the cheapest golf round. Wife thinks you are checking out the porn sites.
You begin to hate ponds, sands, and wooded area.
You keep your lawn pretty short. You make sure it is checkered.
you notice everything golf...
As in, someone wearing a " golf " shirt by any brand, from across the room
Or you see someone wearing a hat with any brand of golf on it and you wonder what their handicap is....
You see someone else practicing their swing, and ask them what they shot today...
When at a garage sale, you notice a old used set of blades and pick them up and start swinging them.. And then look around to see if you can find some old ProV1s or any other diamonds in the rough....
Your hands are calloused as if you're doing actual work
You're always looking for the one golfer in a group of people so you can talk about this weeks tournament
Anyone who gives you golf balls on any occasion earns brownie points they didn't plan on earning
Your wife, girlfriend, parents etc. are always complaining about the new divots in the front yard
You slam your club into the ground then immediately feel guilty and start cleaning it
Finding a new Pro V1 in the woods is your fantasy coming true