I get in my head

**Grndslmhttr3** · September 3, 2009

I'm going to put this right out there -- I'm what they call an angry golfer. Very early on in the round (assuming I get off to a bad start) I immediately get in my head, and sort of panic. I'm almost never relaxed during a round of golf, and I feel like it really takes a toll on a lot of the rounds I have. I have this question for all of you: When you get flustered/pissed off/whatever else, what do you do to calm yourself? It would really help if someone who seems to have the problem I have could chime in, because someone who is almost always calm and doesn't get pissed off easily will obviously be a lot more calm.

**TN94z** · September 3, 2009

I used to be the same way a few years ago. The good news is that you realize how bad it hurts your round. I told myself that I was going to fix the mental part of my game right now. So I started reading books by Rotella and they helped me out quite a bit. You just have to make yourself realize that a bad hole early in the round is not going to ruin your round. Everyone has a bad hole or two or whatever. But once you get angry and start thinking about the bad shots and go into a "panic" mode, then your round is for sure over. I really suggest picking up some of the books...you will really be surpised at how much they help you!!

You have to force yourself to accept the outcome of a shot whether good or bad. Once it leaves the clubface, there is nothing you can do about it anyway, right?

**Grndslmhttr3** · September 3, 2009

I used to be the same way a few years ago. The good news is that you realize how bad it hurts your round. I told myself that I was going to fix the mental part of my game right now. So I started reading books by Rotella and they helped me out quite a bit. You just have to make yourself realize that a bad hole early in the round is not going to ruin your round. Everyone has a bad hole or two or whatever. But once you get angry and start thinking about the bad shots and go into a "panic" mode, then your round is for sure over. I really suggest picking up some of the books...you will really be surpised at how much they help you!!

I got Golf is Not a Game of Perfect for Christmas a couple years ago but I haven't cracked it. I suppose it's about high time I do that, huh?

**TN94z** · September 3, 2009

I would. The books can be much more helpful than people think.

**Grndslmhttr3** · September 3, 2009

I would. The books can be much more helpful than people think.

And all this time it seemed useless to me.

Anyway, thanks for suggesting this.

**TN94z** · September 3, 2009

No problem. They helped me and I was the same way. I used to throw clubs alot. The main thing that got me out of throwing clubs was having to replace the shafts all of the time!! You just expend too much energy getting mad and that ruins a round quicker than anything I can think of.

**Grndslmhttr3** · September 3, 2009

No problem. They helped me and I was the same way. I used to throw clubs alot. The main thing that got me out of throwing clubs was having to replace the shafts all of the time!! You just expend too much energy getting mad and that ruins a round quicker than anything I can think of.

Still waiting on my driver

**TN94z** · September 3, 2009

Still waiting on my driver

Haha!! I actually snapped a shaft one time by bending it over my shoulders while I was mad. That was actually the best thing that happend to my driver. I upgraded to new technology and haven't looked back!

**iWALK18** · September 3, 2009

You know, I used to really blow up on the golf course. I would throw clubs, or just slam the toe of my wedge into the ground. It really wasn't good and certainly didn't help. Most of all, I wasn't really able to enjoy myself, and my playing partners had to suffer through it.

Now I rarely have a problem, and when I do I tend to handle it much more effectively and privately. I guess its about attitude, and training yourself to think more effectively. I have spoken to people before who get really angry. My advice is to simply make a decision not to let bad shots get to me. My method is to wear sunglasses when I play, and when the glasses are on, nothing gets to me. Think Duval in his prime. Invariably people tell me that they "can't just become a robot" and they can't "just decide not to get angry". This is one of those situations where if you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.

Someone suggested Rotella. This would be a great book for you to read, as he really focuses on our ability to choose how to think. I know when I read the book it really validated my above method for coping with my fiery overly competitive side.

**deronsizemore** · September 3, 2009

I used to get extremely angry on the golf course, but now I'm more calm on the golf course than in anything else I do I think.

For me, part of it had to do with just telling myself I was going to enjoy the round and not get upset about a bad shot anymore. The other part of it had to do with practicing and improving my game.

When I was consistently a low 80's shooter with the occasional sub 80 round I knew that one bad shot could just ruin the round. I made too many bogey's as it was and not nearly enough birdies to make up for the lost shots, so anytime I'd make a double or worse my anger got the better of me and usually as a result I'd end up playing even worse than I was before I was angry. Pretty counter productive.

As I've improved my game over the years, I'm much calmer I believe because I know that I am capable of making birdie on any hole on just about any course I play. That has taken some pressure off of me to try and have a perfect round. If I make a bogey or double bogey now I don't instantly think "gosh, my round is in the toilet now." But instead I think, "No problem, I can birdie the a couple of the next holes and get those shots back." I think that's got a lot to do with it.

Peter Jacobson once asked a pro am partner why he was getting angry with himself and followed by saying that he shouldn't be angry, he's not good enough to be angry. If you shoot 75 or 95, it's not the end of the world. You're able to get up and hit a ball around the golf course for 5 hours. A lot of people are bed ridden or in the hospital or worse and don't have that luxury. Just have fun and don't take it too seriously.

Just my .02

**Bullitt5339** · September 3, 2009

I just tell myself that I could always be doing a lot of things that are worse than playing bad golf.

I could be at work, or worse yet, home with the wife!!!!!!!!!! Then everything seems OK, and I can play calmly again..

**TN94z** · September 3, 2009

my playing partners had to suffer through it.

This was a huge reason I made myself change. I started feeling like I was becoming bothersome to my friends and actually started feeling embarassed when I would get mad. I would find myself apologizing ALOT!! I finally decided that was it, and really focused on my mental game. It helped my scoring out tremendously!

**denver_nuggs_15** · September 3, 2009

I used to get mad after lackluster shots, but now I just say, "Ok" after just about every poor shot. There's no way I can think about the shot I just hit because I can't change it. If I'm thinnking negative thoughts, my next shot, one that I can affect, will suffer. I'm all about doing what is best for my game...getting pissed doesn't help my game; it hurts it.

**lumpuckeroo** · September 3, 2009

I just tell myself that I could always be doing a lot of things that are worse than playing bad golf.

Same for me, also I had a period of about 2 years were I had been layed off from work and due to financial reasons didn't get to play. Makes me appreciate it even more now when I get to play.

**Dub** · September 3, 2009

I got Golf is Not a Game of Perfect for Christmas a couple years ago but I haven't cracked it. I suppose it's about high time I do that, huh?

Outstanding book.....I've been digging around the house trying to find my old copy.

**is2linda** · September 3, 2009

This was a huge reason I made myself change. I started feeling like I was becoming bothersome to my friends and actually started feeling embarassed when I would get mad. I would find myself apologizing ALOT!! I finally decided that was it, and really focused on my mental game. It helped my scoring out tremendously!

I feel the same way too. I'm pretty patient when it comes to golf, but one day i was doing HORRIBLE! i was like slicing the ball like i was throwing a boomerang, double par'ing and holing out every single hole. By 7th hole i blew up, and starting cussing and criticizing everyone.

After that, my friends didnt want to play with me for a while and was sneaking behind my back, making tee times without me. I felt so embarrassed and stupid that i promised myself that when i play golf, that i would never do that again. I play golf for fun as a hobby, not a profession. I never had a problem since.

**Clambake** · September 3, 2009

This was a huge reason I made myself change. I started feeling like I was becoming bothersome to my friends and actually started feeling embarassed when I would get mad. I would find myself apologizing ALOT!! I finally decided that was it, and really focused on my mental game. It helped my scoring out tremendously!

Your realization was similar to my epiphany. I had always thought of myself as a good playing partner - fix extra ball marks, compliment other's shots, be the first to tend the stick, laugh at other's jokes, etc. One day I was hitting poorly and felt pretty grumpy. I had just flown the green, then flubbed the pitch back. I was furious with myself and the golf gods, and griped about the shot and slammed my club so hard into the rough that it embedded about 6 inches deep. As I pulled the club out (with some difficulty, and it came with a giant "turf kebab" on the end) I happened to glance at my partners and saw from the look on their faces that they were embarrassed and disgusted at my behavior. These were friends that I have known a long time, and it was clear that my outbursts were ruining

their day. They were tolerating me, but just barely. From that point on I've worked hard to control my temper with the goal that everytime I leave the golf course I want my playing partners to think "hey, I'd really like to play with that guy again". And the funny thing is that calming down has helped my game as well - I'm a lot more consistent, and because I choose to not get mad I find myself having less to get mad about. The old adage that one can really learn a lot about a person through a round of golf is so true......

**Grndslmhttr3** · September 3, 2009

This was a huge reason I made myself change. I started feeling like I was becoming bothersome to my friends and actually started feeling embarassed when I would get mad. I would find myself apologizing ALOT!! I finally decided that was it, and really focused on my mental game. It helped my scoring out tremendously!

Yeah I sometimes feel like a burden/huge annoyance when I'm out with my friends, because they all are able to keep their cool pretty well.

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