Re: De-loft or not de-loft iron during swing??
I use a variation of the Hogan 5 Lessons
Hogan recommended addressing the iron shot with the club straight up and down, and then doing a waggle. The waggle supposedly would set the hands forward a bit, and encouraging hitting down on the ball.
Similar to you, I had problems on days I was not swinging well. Sometimes the waggle would not really set the hands in front of the ball, and I ended up picking the shot clean, or scooping the ball (casting?)
This spring I went to a forward press set-up with a waggle, and seem to be getting more consistent hits.
Also, I would suggest that the forward press and the too-strong grip are separate, but related issues.
... Should i continue down this path and just use longer club for every shot?
As one middle handicapper to another, I would suggest you consider going with whichever one will help your game and scoring the most. If we had time each week to hit the range three times and
play 36 holes, we could work on more hole-to-hole variations in our game. But I (and probably you) don't have that much golf time.
If your area courses reward height and bite on your approach shots, I would sacrifice the distance and hit the extra club. If you have a lot of wind to contend with, you might want to continue with the delofting (especially if you have trouble with ballooning short iron shots).