Top 10 Clues You're Addicted to Golf

When my wife and I first lived together (many moons ago) and money was a bit tight I argued until I was successful that we needed to upgrade the cable package in order to get the golf channel. Priorities!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clambake 

I'll admit it...I'm a golfaholic.   I love to play it, practice it, read about it, write about it, think about it, and even fantasize about it.    Perhaps there is a twelve step program (maybe with golf it would be 18 steps), but I'll just accept my addiction for now.  

 

Here are my Top 10 ways to tell if you might be a golfaholic:

 

10)   Your copy of Hogan's 5 Lessons is so worn out there are only 3 left in the book

9)    You own a box of yellow balls solely for the reason they show up better in the snow

8)    The pictures of your kids in your wallet were replaced with pictures of you at Pebble

7)    Every time you start down the hallway in your house you pause to read the break

6)    Computer logs of your office computer show you spent 1 hour on the corporate network and 7 hours on The Sand Trap

5)    You can debate every point of the Stack and Tilt versus other swings, but haven't yet heard of any uprisings in the MidEast

4)    The Golf Channel logo is permanently burned into the lower right of your TV screen at home.    Even if it's LCD.

3)    You own 14 pairs of golf shoes, yet only 1 pair of dress shoes

2)    You get into an argument of forged versus cast construction when trying to decide which toaster to buy

 

and finally......

 

1)    Referring to you, Charlie Sheen says "yeah, I may have a problem, but....... THAT guy needs help!"

 

 

 

OK, let's hear your telltale signs.......

7) Dude, that's freakin hilarious :-) I love it!!

3) I catch more crap because of this one, though I'm not quite up to 14 pairs yet

Quote:

Originally Posted by ControlJunkie 

 

7) Dude, that's freakin hilarious :-) I love it!!

3) I catch more crap because of this one, though I'm not quite up to 14 pairs yet

 

I'm currently tied at 3-3 but seriously closer to buying a 4th pair of golf shoes than dress shoes!

Here are mine…

-          When I walk by a vertical reflective surface I check my swing in it.

-          When I return a shopping cart to its corral I do so as if it were a long putt, complete with the whole pre-shot routine

-          I constantly gauge distances in terms of carry with a particular club

-          I am seriously considering having all the carpet in my house replaced with green carpet only

-          I know that the pronged end of my divot tool can be used as a fork

-          I think that people who don’t like golf are just plain weird

-          I can speak intelligently about different kinds of grass

-          Augusta National is my Mecca and someday I shall make the pilgrimage

When I broke my wrist a few years ago I got my orthopedic surgeon (who was an avid golfer himself) to write me a prescription for graphite shafted irons.

I can't help but think of what I could of done to improve different shots on previous rounds of golf.

Roger Dunn is my second home. (say 3-4 trips a week there)

turtleback.....well played!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtleback 

When I broke my wrist a few years ago I got my orthopedic surgeon (who was an avid golfer himself) to write me a prescription for graphite shafted irons.

Now that's funny. I wonder what the pharmacist must've said.

Actually, it was more for the benefit of the wife!

And it worked!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by turtleback 

Actually, it was more for the benefit of the wife!

 

And it worked!!

haha, nice.

I will have to use this ploy one of these days.

I'll go on a golf trip with my buddies, but tell the wife we don't have money for a vacation.

All home repairs must be done by St. Patrick's Day.

Golf clubs have a "spot" in the family room.

Car purchases are based on how many sets of clubs will fit in the trunk.

You only followers golfers on Twitter.

You know what years Jack Nicklaus won the Masters, but not so sure about what year your sibilings were born.

You schedule vacation to watch the Masters.

 - You ask your boss at work what type of polo is acceptable in the office to wear with khakis so that you could wear your golf attire to the office in order to save time en route to the course after work
 - Your fiancee knew nothing of golf before you started dating, but now regularly texts you on thursdays and fridays while she's at work to tell you who's in the lead, highlights, who hit what club to 4 feet on the umteenth hole, etc...
 - You plan where you're going to move to include membership fees at a course relatively close by for ease of access...in your 'rent'

 - Your calendar at work isn't filled so much with meetings as it is course maintenance schedules, scramble dates, tournament majors, club championships, and the best holiday week of the year; The Masters

Wandering round the mall one weekend in that half-daze guys go into when being dragged through home furnishing stores. The wife stops to check out an amusing sham or something and I find myself staring blankly into this french-door size decorative mirror. Swear the thought hadn't yet percolated up into my conscious mind, but she says without turning around: "If you start practicing your takeaway, I am going to divorce you." 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clambake 

Very funny.   So....did you practice the takeaway or not????

 

Are you kidding me? Do you know how long it takes to train them to fully integrate the tee-to-green metaphor into the area of marital relations?

"Come on big boy, smash it! I can tell you're swinging an extra-stiff shaft." etc. etc. 

I think it's when each club has it's own name....

I haven't named all of mine, but the ones I have are

Driver - "May" (from the movie "A League of Their Own" - All the way, May!!)

3W - "Gummy" (because it's a 'tree wood' haha, and we have a lot of gum trees in Oz)

2i - "Posh Spice" (look at me, I have a 2 iron)

3i - "Ali" (because he was pretty hard to hit, too)

8i - "Mila Kunis" (coz she's about an 8/10)

9i - "Karrie" (Karrie Web's favourite club)

PW - "Piss Weak" (obvious enough)

52* GW - "Bruce Dickinson" (coz he's the best performing 52 year old in the world)

SW - "Whitey" (name after a friend of the family, Sandra (Sandy) White)

Putter - "Billy" (oh Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy... from Caddyshack!)

Still waiting to name the 4-7 irons, haha!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stretch 

Wandering round the mall one weekend in that half-daze guys go into when being dragged through home furnishing stores. The wife stops to check out an amusing sham or something and I find myself staring blankly into this french-door size decorative mirror. Swear the thought hadn't yet percolated up into my conscious mind, but she says without turning around: "If you start practicing your takeaway, I am going to divorce you." 

to funny. I got my gf into golf. she bought some clubs recently and loves it. so, if anything, she won't mind if I start practicing while shopping. until I accidentally hit her or something. lol