Stage Fright and suggestions to over come it?

I have stage fright, this became very clear to me last night. My game is still developing but when I play and practice alone, my consistency improves. When I play in my league I regress and badly for at least half the round.

Any suggestions of how to make a dent in this mental portion of the game?

I've never personally had this problem but then again I've never really played with anyone other than my group of friends. But I think if you put some earbuds in and just listened to some music when you play it might help. It'll tune everything else out and also help you maintain a good tempo.

Doesn't really sound like stage fright. Perhaps you are trying to be perfect because people are watching you, and in trying to be perfect you are throwing yourself out of sorts? I know I have heard professionals in a lot of sports talk about how when they are in the moment everything sort of disappears.  They block out all the extra crap around them and are focused on what they are trying to achieve.

Breathe and focus -- block out everything - I try to swing in slow motion. That brings tempo and swing to normal speed.

I suggest you sneak up on the ball and hit it. You can gauge the shot and read all you want, but don't stand over the shot. Brandt Snedeker did this in the playoff this week, and he didn't hole his chip at the last, but he didn't make mistakes. It was probably possible for him to knock it closer, if not in, but due to his precarious lie and nerves, he practiced away from the ball, then walked up and hit it within a second of taking his stance. On the other hand, Kevin Na likes to stand over shots for hours. What Snedders did was to commit to the shot before he even took his stance. I'm not suggesting you run up to the ball like an NFL kicker, but try to take your deep breath and relax while you're 3 steps from the ball, then don't come to a complete stop until you hit the shot. Also, ensure that you waggle, it will keep you from tensing up.

I used to worry about what other people thought of me until I realized how little time they did spend thinking of me. This especially holds true in golf as most people are really self absorbed in their own game unless you distract them by playing really slow or by being obnoxious. Once you get to that point, you will have a better chance to relax and play your game.

You apparently care more about what people think than you should -- What's the worse they can do? Laugh? Who gives a flip?

Don't care ... and you will play better golf.

I agree with uttexas, the more you play, the more comfortable you will become.

The better you become, and more sure of your swing, the less it will happen.

I get nervous as I have a 60% chance to miss hit my first drive.  When I have been playing good and I have and 80% chance for a good drive I feel less nervous and dont get the shakey legs.

Don't focus on outcomes -- like breaking 80 on the day or sinking a particularly crucial putt on one green -- focus on process goals instead. These can be something like going through exactly the same routine before every shot, no matter the relative importance of the stroke. Or constructing a clear picture in your mind of the exact shot you want before trying to hit it. That's what you grade your performance on, rather than where the ball ends up or what you write down on the card after the hole. This gets your mind working on things you can control, rather than things you can't. I highly recommend this book if you are serious about getting a handle on the mental side of your game:

That doesn't appear to be a stage fright.  It seem more about worrying about what others will think about your game than anything else.

Just realize they really don't care as long as you don't hold them up.  I play as a single about 90% of the time.  In the beginning, I got a little nervous but after having played a few times with strangers, it got better.  Oh believe me, the first tee shot jitter never goes away especially during a tournament.  But the more you do it, the better it becomes.

My suggestion is concentrate especially hard on your first tee shot.  And use the longest club that you trust the most.  It can be a 3W, 5W or even 5I.  You want to build up your confidence on your first tee shot.

If I remember correctly, even Jack Nicolas said he often hits his first tee shot with a 3W (or was that Trevino?) because he knew he was more comfortable with it than the driver.

Semantics aside (stage fright, performance anxiety, etc) your problem is nerves.  Playing with or in front of other people puts pressure on you to hit a decent shot.  The first tee is notoriously bad for this because on busy days you can always count on a crowd of golfers waiting to tee off.  In this situation everyone is standing around and since etiquette demands that everyone remain quite and still when someone is on the tee box all eyes turn to watch whomever is hitting (it's also common for the gathered crowd to verbally acknowledge good tee shots).  Talk about pressure to perform!

Anyway there are two things you can do about this: first make sure you never play when the course is crowded.  The problem with this plan is that while most of the time you'll be fine occasionally no matter what you do there will be people standing around waiting for their tee times and you'll have to stand up in front of them and hit.  The second alternative, and the one I suggest, is to realize this is a situation you will have to face so learn to embrace it.  Just like your body gets used to lifting heavy weights by growing stronger so too will you get used to standing up in front of other people and hitting a shot.  You'll still be nervous, but after you've done this enough times the pressure won't have such a detrimental effect on you.  I think playing in a league will be a good way for the OP to put himself into this situation and over time learn to not let it bother him any more.

I do 2 things:

1 - Try to let the playing partner tee off first.  If they top it, or slice it, or otherwise hit a bad shot, you'll suddenly feel a lot more comfortable.

2 - Set your goal to be simply putting the ball in play.  Don't worry about hitting it as far as you can or anything else.  Just put it somewhere where you have an ok 2nd shot.  Things can snowball fast, in either direction.

This.  Even when playing with buddies I only think about their game if they're playing lights out and I'm just cheering them on, or they're playing god awful and ask for some observation so I can see if they're doing one of their typical mistakes.  With strangers I'm only paying attention if they're just spectacular and it's fun to watch them shoot par or near par and make sweet shots, or they're incredibly slow and messing up my rhythm and lagging the group behind those in front of us.  On the first hole or two I might take notice if someone's swing is just absolutely terrible, but I'm really only noticing cause I'm worried that means that player will make our group play really slowly.  As long as you're not holding up the whole group, no one else really cares how you're hitting unless you're the local club Tiger and everyone just wants to ogle in envy.

Sort of a life lesson.  I don't worry about what strangers think of me for the most part (to the point of being inconsiderate sometimes I admit!).  But my wife used to overly worry about that kind of thing until one of her friends noted to her once that part of maturing is realizing that others think about you WAY less than you might worry or think they do.

Ive been playing alone for the most part ever since I started in August and, just like you, I was playing really well alone and not so well when friends came along.

My mentor thought this 'may' be because Im paying more attention to THEM than to my game.

I mentioned that I used an aggressive emotion in another thread to help with decelleration, which helped me overcome it, and I used sort of the same thing for getting over having other guys standing there watching me worrying about them seeing me 'tard out.

I get my mind so focused on that GD little ball and wanting splatter its inside all over a wall that the last thing Im thinking about is these lackwits standing beside me.

So thats an exaggeration, of course, but something like that.

The round I played yesterday I joined up with a couple guys and I was doing it again, the thought came up about them standing there watching.

I chuckled at them to not laugh or anything since Im a newbie. Got myself focused on the ball with some pent up aggression and tuned those guys out entirely and then smashed the ball dead down the center.

The one guy sort of laughed back "Laugh at what?".

I dont know if what I do will work for you or anyone else. Its been great for me.

But it does seem like finding something YOU can focus yourself on so much that you tune out everything around you would almost have to work.

Stage fright?

Perhaps your problem can be solved by realising that if the golf course is a stage and golfers are actors, the other actors are only concerned with one performance, their own.

You could play well or poorly and most times, your marker will only realise when he adds the numbers up how you went. And he probably won't care either way.

Just play the game and enjoy it. There's always someone better and there's always someone worse.