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I'll be a tour pro... - Page 2

post #19 of 33

I can see it now. 

- Shortest drive competitions. 

- Longest divot counting from the center of the golf ball backwards. 

- The number of greens you are able to play without having to repair a ball mark. 

post #20 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by clearwaterms View Post

I can see it now. 

- Shortest drive competitions. 

- Longest divot counting from the center of the golf ball backwards. 

- The number of greens you are able to play without having to repair a ball mark. 

 

- Highest ratio of hang-time (in seconds) to distance (in yards).  My personal best has to be a sky-shot off the tee that probably had a 6 or 7-second hang time and only went maybe 50 yards (about a 1:7 ratio).

 

- Number of consecutive shots in sand traps.  I broke my record last time I played.  I was in a trap on the left side of a green.  Hit it fat for one shot...ball went a couple of feet (wet sand).  Hit it thin the next shot...ball scooted forward, hit the lip, and bounced back.  Hit it perfect the next shot...well...assuming I wanted to land in the center of the green and roll across the other side to another sand trap.  Finally hit it on the green from that bunker.  Four consecutive shots from bunkers (and two different bunkers at that).

 

- Number of multiple hazards hit into on the same shot.  I only got a 2 on this one.  Par 3, elevated tee over small pond, slightly elevated green on the other side with a shallow sand trap in front.  Somehow I managed to blade my ball, it buzzed the water, skipped a couple of times (first time I'd seen a golf ball skip on the water), hit the hard ground on the far bank, bounced, rolled through the bunker (lucky there was no significant lip) and popped out barely on the fringe of the green.

 

- Number of fairways hit, not including the ones you were playing at the time.  I don't keep track, but I'm betting I hit at least 2 or 3 every time I play.

 

- Number of times a given shot distance is equal to or greater than the distance to the pin times 2.  For instance, you're hitting a pitch 30 yards from the pin and you hit it so thin that it flies/rolls 60+ yards, goes past the pin (and green in most cases) leaving you at least another 30 yard shot.  I do this a lot from bunkers, and sometimes do it on approach shots with the help of cart paths and rocks.

 

- Number of times you've had to go backward on the course at least 1/2 a hole to get the club you left on the last tee/fairway/green.

 

- Number of times you've made it through a round without having to use a single ball cleaner because any ball that had a chance to get dirty ended up getting lost before you made it to the next tee.

 

- Number of times you've been less than 150 yards out, waited for a group ahead to finish putting (you know...so you wouldn't hit them when you miraculously hit your first GIR of the season) and end up embarrassing yourself when you can't cover at least 1/2 that distance on your shot.

 

I could go on--oh man, can I go on.  a3_biggrin.gif

post #21 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave67az View Post


- Number of fairways hit, not including the ones you were playing at the time.  I don't keep track, but I'm betting I hit at least 2 or 3 every time I play.

 

- Number of times a given shot distance is equal to or greater than the distance to the pin times 2.  For instance, you're hitting a pitch 30 yards from the pin and you hit it so thin that it flies/rolls 60+ yards, goes past the pin (and green in most cases) leaving you at least another 30 yard shot.  I do this a lot from bunkers, and sometimes do it on approach shots with the help of cart paths and rocks.

 

These two were the best. 

 

# of times you are further from the pin than the previous shot. 

# of times you hit the wrong fairway. 

post #22 of 33

This thread has so much win.

 

Just think about it, if the goal of the game was to try and slice the ball 50 yards, do you understand how hard that would be.

 

Crazy game.

post #23 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Motley01 View Post

This thread has so much win.

 

Just think about it, if the goal of the game was to try and slice the ball 50 yards, do you understand how hard that would be.

 

Crazy game.

 

Bubba Watson could stay pro.

post #24 of 33
I'd have more to say but Kate Upton is calling me back to the bedroom...
post #25 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by colin007 View Post

I'd have more to say but Kate Upton is calling me back to the bedroom...


Kate Upton is the new Morgan Fairchild... Yeah, that's the ticket.

post #26 of 33

I'll add a couple of more fun new contests:

 

The distance the ball goes backwards after hitting the tree 10 yards in front of you.

 

How many skips your ball can take across the water before sinking 5 feet in front of dry land.

 

And new stats:

 

TIR - Trees In Regulation

NSS - Not Sand Saves

OSPR - Obscenities Said Per Round

post #27 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by sacm3bill View Post


Kate Upton is the new Morgan Fairchild... Yeah, that's the ticket.

I had to look Morgan Fairchild up on wiki and I still don't get it...?
post #28 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Teamanglerx View Post

I'll add a couple of more fun new contests:

 

The distance the ball goes backwards after hitting the tree 10 yards in front of you.

 

How many skips your ball can take across the water before sinking 5 feet in front of dry land.

 

And new stats:

 

TIR - Trees In Regulation

NSS - Not Sand Saves

OSPR - Obscenities Said Per Round

 

Need some clarification please.

 

For TIRs, what, exactly, is regulation?  Does that mean on a par-5, only trees hit on the first 3 shots count?  Also, if you get a solid hit on one tree trunk and it caroms of a second tree trunk, does that count as one or two?

 

And for OSPRs, is "FORE" considered an obscenity?  Because when I have to yell "FORE" I sure as hell yell it like it's an obscenity.  Nice thing is, when I'm in one of those conservative groups that doesn't swear a lot (not sure what they're doing on a golf course, but that's another topic) yelling "FORE" is about the only time I get to swear at a volume I'm comfortable with.

post #29 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave67az View Post

 

Need some clarification please.

 

For TIRs, what, exactly, is regulation?  Does that mean on a par-5, only trees hit on the first 3 shots count?  Also, if you get a solid hit on one tree trunk and it caroms of a second tree trunk, does that count as one or two?

 

And for OSPRs, is "FORE" considered an obscenity?  Because when I have to yell "FORE" I sure as hell yell it like it's an obscenity.  Nice thing is, when I'm in one of those conservative groups that doesn't swear a lot (not sure what they're doing on a golf course, but that's another topic) yelling "FORE" is about the only time I get to swear at a volume I'm comfortable with.

 

TIRs - I see your point.  I think we will change it to TPR - Trees Per Round.  If the ball hits one tree and caroms into another the 2nd tree counts as well.  I like this because once I hit four trees with the same shot so my stats would be through the roof!

 

As for OSPRs "Fore" is not considered an obscenity unless its proceeded by "Aw, S&*t- FORE!"

post #30 of 33

This is so hilairous. I must have spit my drink up multiple times now. Keep it coming guys, so entertaining!

 

I have one to add. The longest you can hit the ball, without ever making contact with the ball. How much earth you can move.

post #31 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by colin007 View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by sacm3bill View Post


Kate Upton is the new Morgan Fairchild... Yeah, that's the ticket.

I had to look Morgan Fairchild up on wiki and I still don't get it...?


It's from the Jon Lovitz "Liar Guy" skits from SNL - really big back in the day.

post #32 of 33

I see this is an old thread but I had to say quite entertaining, why not bump it to the top for some more laughs. I was reminded of personal favorite....LBH - Lost Balls per Hole! Nothing like hitting 7 off the tee!!

post #33 of 33

Oh ya! I remember this thread. Very funny stuff.

 

I have one. Most uses of the chainsaw per round.

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