Realistic Expectations?

It seems we often have unrealistic expectations and over inflated ideas of the state of our own golf game.  But what is realistic?  For example I run a business and have two young children and am in my early 30s.  Time is at a premium.  The only way that I can really improve my game is to take a few lessons a year and to get up at 5am to play nine holes four times a week so I can be at work a little after 7am.  I have build a short game practice area and putting green in my basement for practice.  In two years I have gone from about a 15 handicap to a 5.   With a goal of becoming a scratch player, and being able to play in a few qualifiers, it seems my expectations may be unrealistic.  It is so much harder once you have started a real life to do this.  :)  What do you think is a realistic expectation for the time I can commit?  What do you guys commit to bettering your game?

I'm fortunate - have a wife that loves to golf as much as I do, bunch of guys at work that golf too, course close to house.    PA golf is unbelievably cheap during mid-day weekends compared to NJ golf where my coworkers have to play (golfnow.com).      I get to play 3 or 4 times a week - most are 9 hole rounds after work.     I'm 47 years old & have been playing at this rate since I started less than 2 years ago (79 rounds so far in 2012).    Steadily progressed from 110+ to high 80's low 90's.    I dont have the back to ever be a really good player, but my goal is to get to single digits by the time I'm 50 - 2 years to do it.   For me, it's all about improving the driver (gadawful cursed club that it is) & short game - putter has made great strides lately.    Chipping/pitching is solid, but dont have the touch to get it consistently to 4 ft like I need to.      When I see a single digit hcp on my GHIN card, I will have become the golfer I think I can be ...

I don't really believe in unrealistic expectations.  To me, I see far to many members here asking others what their expectations and/or goals should be.  Nobody knows what you can achieve except for you.  Even if you have limited time, you may use that time more wisely than another person with infinite time.  I think the better question would be what do you want out of golf?  Once you decide what you want to accomplish, set your goals and begin the process.  If your goal is to become a scratch golfer try to measure out milestones you can hit along the way to measure your process and build esteem.

Is your goal to become a member of the PGA tour?  If so, go for it!  The %'s may not be on your side but I will always live by the motto that trying and failing is better than to never have tried at all.  Besides, if you do fail, what do  you lose?  You will have spent time doing something that you enjoy and bettering yourself in the process.

As a side note, think back through history at all the things people have accomplished, even when other people were telling them it was impossible.

Wait until they start sports, then it gets real difficult. That was the coup de grace for me. I ended up putting the clubs in mothballs for quite a few years until they hit high school and the weekend sports subsided. It is all about priorities. Since I could not play and practice the way I wanted to I made a decision  not to play once a month and be frustrated. If you can swing it and not take time away from your kids then do it. I just didn't want to be the dad that watched the games on video tape. At present, I have been playing steadily for a couple of years now and while there are still trade offs, I can get it in without cheating my family and other commitments which are more important than golf. It's all about balance. High school aged kids are a lot easier when they drive, have night games, and you don't have to coach them or stay at practice. Looking back, I know I made the right decision for me and my family. If I had been a stay-at-home dad or worked later hours then I probably could have played golf, but that was not the case for me. Good luck.

That is why I do the early morning rounds.  Thankfully there is a course in my area that has an earlybird membership. I can tee off at 5:30am, provided I can see, which is getting tough this time of year in Wisconson.  Good thoughts though, I am of the same opinion that it is most important to be there for the kids during this time of their lives.

Realistic expectations? I think you have a very realistic shot at becoming an awesome dad and husband. And that may be the best plan you can have for the next bunch of years.

As for your golf game: Keep your short game sharp with a few short sessions on and around the putting green each week. Maybe get a regular game (9-hole league?) that your family agrees is OK -- not weekends because those will soon be filled with soccer or dancing or whatever. Get your kids a putter and a short club when they are old enough and bring the to the putting green. If you are lucky they will like the game and love the time with you. Hope your game stays about the same or at least does not slip too much over the next 10-15 years.

There will be time for golf. The kids will grow up and, if you are like most of us, you may regret some things you missed along the way. Don't make golf the reason you missed them.

I really don't understand this train of thought.  I am a father of two, who are regular in group activities/sports. Having kids who are active definately takes up a lot of my evening time but that is why I use the mornings to my advantage.  Every morning before work I have the opportunity to either play 9 holes or go to the range.  And even though my kids are active I still am able to squeeze in a 9 hole round through the week and atleast one 18 hole round on the weekend.  Now that may not be conducive to become a tour pro (If that is his goal) but I do think its plenty of time to improve your game.  I've never chose Golf over my kids and never will, however, I do have to will myself to give up some relaxing down time that I use to take in the past.

No argument here. You can carve out time to play, practice and be an awesome dad. But go from a 5 to scratch? More realistic to be an awesome dad and husband IMHO.

I would have to agree.  It could be possible but very unlikely.  I just think that it would be tough for me or most people to do it unless I you play 18 holes almost every day.

Pretty much everyone has 2 hours a day to to what they want. Most of us spend it watching tv and the like.  You could spend it on golf if you wanted. The tricky part is that a lot of this time is not when the golf course is open so you need to find things you can do at home. Maybe a killer fitness program, home putting green, net in the basement, and what ever else you can think of.  Getting to scratch by increasing the amount of golf you play is probably the funniest way to improve but it isn't the most time efficient.

I had to play or practice almost every day to scare scratch, and when I started playing/practicing 2x/week, my HC went to 7. However...... I know guys that hover around scratch and don't play/practice every day, and even a guy that maintains a plus handicap and doesn't play more than a couple of times per month unless he's preparing for an event. All of the above have played since they were kids, though. I started as an adult. I guess it makes a difference. There are things I've done since I was a kid that I can layoff for a long time and pick it right back up (piano, guitar), but golf isn't one of those things.

Even if your first sentence is correct, which most working parents of small children would dispute, imagine what a difference 30 minutes of focus on each kid, each day, without bath time, meal time -- just Daddy time -- could have on the kids. We're talking scratch Dad. I don't see the scratch golfer thing happening with two small kids.

When my kids were little I was a 25 handicap golfer and a single digit Dad for many years. I worked hard at the Dad thing but even so, I wish I'd worked at it more and become a scratch Dad.

Amen to all the above . Sounds like you have your priorities in order . Enjoy the family time NOW . My boys are 29 and 26 and daughter 18 . Often thought those days coaching or watching at the fields could be a pain . But I'm glad we did it . Now when I drive by those same fields and see a younger dad walking in with his little son or daughter carrying a glove , I'm glad I'm wearing sun glasses , because I tear up . There will be plenty of time for golf . Practice , play whenever you can squeeze it in , and be realistic about results , knowing that you re not as good now as you will be in the future when the kids are gone and you can practice more often .. Best of luck .

My kids go to sleep at 8:30. How can I spend focused time on them for the next 3 hours before I go to bed? I know a ton of parents.  They do all sorts of activities like watching sports, taking yoga classes, reading books,  watching american idol, training for a triathalon, and so on.  Can you get to scratch with only an hour a day? Who knows. You definitely have to be smart about using your time efficiently.

Well I guess I am the experiment then.  I really don't need to get to a real scratch which I think these days is a plus handicap, I just would really like to get to a 1 or so.  That way I can play in any qualifier.  I started out last year with a five year goal of getting there.  I am almost two years in, have gone from about 15 to 6.5 last year and 4.5 this year.  It is probably a long shot but you gotta try right?  Here is what I do know about my time.  I can get up early and play nine holes four times a week(1.5 hours), I can hit a bucket of balls at lunch during work(.5 hours), and I can practice on my short game setup in my basement after the kids go to bed on some nights (1 hour).  So I have two hours a day and possibly three that I can give to trying to improve.  It is going to be fun to try anyway.  I might never get past 4 but who knows.  If anyone here has been able to do it as an settled adult, it would be fun to hear your story about how much time you devoted to it.