How do you handle a playing partner displaying terrible course etiquette?

I'm not talking about walking in someone's lie, not tending the flagstick properly, or any of the other minor indiscretions that oblivious golfers commit from time to time. I'm talking about really major egregious violations that may be damaging to the course.

Twice in my life, I have seen a playing partner in a fit of rage take a divot out of the green with their putter.  The first time, I was paired with a mid 50's "surfer dude" who blew up on a hole and was putting for something like a 12 on a par 5. When his 3 footer (for septuple bogey) lipped out, he swung his club and sent a 6 inch chunk of the green flying. All the while, he kept muttering "happens every time, happens EVERY time" - a phrase he would repeat for the next hole and half. I had never met the guy prior to the round, and I halfway feared he may have been mentally unstable. As such, I didn't say anything, I just walked back to retreive the divot and replaced it. We didn't exchange any more words the rest of the round, and I completed my turn at  hole 9.

The second time, I was playing in a group with a well respected member of my men's club. He was playing a terrible round and after a short miss, he stabbed at the green with his putter. He didnt' take a divot, but his club dug deep into the grass and created serious damage to the surface. I was the junior member of our group and to be quite honest, I was completely shocked that a member of our club would treat the course this was. I am sorry to say that no member of our group said or did anything. I think we all wanted to pretend it didn't happen.

Has anyone on this forum encountered a similar situation and how did you handle it?

That's some crazy stuff. I've yet to see anyone do such a thing to the greens, even the fairway. Only time I've seen someone strike the ground with their club is in the rough, as they know it isn't that tragic.

Those two situations would definitely put me out of the mood completely. I've played with pissed off, bad round players.. but none ever took it out on the course, but yes.. it just makes the entire round awkward. No courtesy for your playing partners or anyone around them.  I just kept to myself, [because honestly.. who the hell am I to say anything to them, you know?].. and hoped for the best and that they would calm down.

I'm a pretty chill and amusing individual, so in most situations where a player had a poor hole and is somewhat frustrated, I just make a few comments to settle them down. Usually works and try to just mention how I hate the hole too, or some BS like that to deflect their rage.

In your situation.. would it be too extreme to go to the clubhouse and let them know about the player, maybe flagging their name in the system if he calls to play again?

I've never run into anything like that but I have, on a few occassions, played with people hadn't played before and unknowingly did dumb things . .like park the cart on the fringe of the green or drive up on the tee box.  I have one acquaintance who has golfed a few times and *really* needs to be taught about "ready golf" but I'm not quite sure he'll take it the right way so I keep putting it off and trying to lead by example.

Stabbing your putter head into the green isn't just poor ettiquette, it's vandalism.  I don't know how to I'd handle it except to never play with that person again.  What can I say? I'm non-confrontational.

A few week's ago a friend and I went golfing, there was a 2 sum in front of us 2 older guys. They drove the cart onto the putting green then the next hole they drove on the tee box. I've even seen people drive right into a dunker

As a fellow Irishman, Edmund Burke, once said:

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing"

A bit dramatic, but the sentiment holds true for Golf.

If you seeing someone demonstrating poor etiquette and fail to do anything, then in my eyes, you are just as bad as the person committing the offense.

It may be difficult to confront someone that is extremely frustrated, but in my experience, with the right approach, a gentle word with them will not only serve to make them aware of their wrong doing.

In any instance that I have had to do it, it has actually served to calm that person down as the realization that they are acting like a child (don't say that to them :) ) will make them step back and get some control of their emotions.

That's not very fair if there was a 3rd playing partner.

It's hard enough to deal with one idiot without adding a second!

I was recently playing the ninth hole at Bicester golf course and watched in disbelief as a player in front of me putted out on the green and then proceeded to walk over the green and off the other side while pulling his trolleyed bag behind him.... he almost hit the flag!

I proceeded to chase him all the way to the tenth tee to explain that this action was not acceptable..... he removed his earphones and looked at me with confusion... I politely eplained that this was not the done thing, to which he replied... "Oh, sorry, I was miles away"!! honestly.. some people....

Peter.

It's a tough call, because with 20/20 hindsight sitting safely inside my house the easy answer is you confront the guy and tell him he shouldn't destroy the green because of a missed putt.  In the situation, I'm not sure I'd be so quick to confront a stanger I was paired with that showed erratic behavior and an inability to control his temper.

If the guy seemed stable I might say something, if not I'd just make sure the office knew that the guy they paired up with me destroyed a green after a bad putt.

The way I deal with it?

Never play with them again.

I can't control other people. I can only control myself. The simplest thing is to remove myself from the situation.

I would tend to agree, never know how a stranger would react.  I have played with people I know that have pulled something like that, and I jumped their butts about it.  I understand losing ones temper, I've done it, but I don't take it out on anyone but myself and for sure never my equipment or the course.  I've seen other groups pull stuff like that and for sure have reported it to the clubhouse.

If I saw something like that I'd be on the phone to the pro shop.

if ive never played with the person i would certianly let the pro shop know. ive seen it before where a person took out huge divets in the green and the 4some behind them noticed and got the entire group kicked for it. so you dont want to be black listed for some A hole with a temper problem. but if its someone you know i would say take the turn and end the round and never play with them again. ive gone through a couple of golfing partners because they took a round as a chance to drink a beer a whole and ended up throwing clubs. and loosing them in trees and water. awsome way to treat there new 300 dollar driver.

I'd definitely let the office know. However, I will not directly confront him on the course. I may gauge his response by engaging in conversation after the dastardly deed. If that works, it would seem to suggest its okay to say something about it. If not, I will keep it to myself and consider leaving early.

However, if I got kicked off by a ranger before getting back to the office I'd surely try to explain it to him; which probably wouldn't work. I'd explain it to the office, though, for sure. If that fails I will not have a problem NEVER golfing there again. Odds are they would probably be willing to hear me out. If its someone THEY paired me with, I won't be accepting responsibility for his actions. :-p

On another note... I do remember being very young and ill tempered. I was on a green and I missed a really easy putt. I got REALLY mad and swung my arms angrily without really realizing what the putter was doing... I dug a small divot right in front of my cousin, my father, and my uncle (who happened to work on the grounds). I immediately felt incredibly stupid and apologized countless times after repairing the divot. I felt pretty bad.

So... if someone is going to do that without showing a bit of remorse in front of people they do not know..... I would question whether or not it is wise to confront them.

Speaking of destroying greens at my home course I was driving up to play and the par 3 near the road I noticed a bunch of dirt on the green.  So I stop my car and walk up there and someone the night before had driven there car off the road and had done a 360 on the putting green.  I didn't know what to think you could see the tire marks from the road all the way to the green.  This was maybe 3 years ago and just until last year did the scarring actually start to go away.  People don't understand how much money and time it takes to get greens into the type of condition they need to be in.

We call these people Joe Paternos.

I'm guessing he had knowledge of what was going on at Penn State? Sorry,  I'm not up to date, college football isn't that big over here in Ireland :)

Have to say I'm surprised by the comments on the thread.

A lot of people avoiding "confrontation" at all costs.

Each to their own I suppose, and every situation is different, however, I don't look at it as "confrontation".

Confrontation will generally only occur if you adapt the wrong approach.

I actually believe it to be poor etiquette to go behind someones back and report an incident to the Pro Shop without first giving your playing partner the chance to redeem themself after an outburst.