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The Definitive &#(@%ing Cursing/Swearing/Cussing/Profanity Thread - Page 8

post #127 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by NM Golf View Post

This past weekend my buddy let fly a few choice words along with his wedge. It was a nice throw but it flew into a tree and stayed there. I suggested he throw a provisional club since I didn't know if we would be able to find the first one. LOL He wasn't amused. b2_tongue.gif

Years ago I was playing a par 4 at our club with a pond in front of the green. I hit one of the best drives of my life and just had a sand wedge into the green, and  dumped the approach into the pond. I walked up and dropped another ball short of the pond and promptly dumped another ball into the water. As I watched the ball (and a large divot) fly into the pond, I just let go of the club on my follow through and drowned my sand wedge.

They actually found it years later while dredging the pond. My name tag on the shaft was still intact.

post #128 of 178

Come to think of it, no other sport or game invokes anywhere near the level of intensity of self-beratement that is seen in golf.  Why is that?

post #129 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by dak4n6 View Post

Come to think of it, no other sport or game invokes anywhere near the level of intensity of self-beratement that is seen in golf.  Why is that?


Because no other sport is cruel enough to randomly, unpredictably rob you of your proficiency and make you feel so inept. a3_biggrin.gif

post #130 of 178

Reminds me of a joke, and forgive me if I posted this somewhere else (like maybe the joke thread?)

 

Nun goes up to her Mother Superior & says 'Mother Superior, I have a confession to make. I swore on the golf course today."

 

Mother Superior says "Tell me, Sister."

 

Nun says "Well, I hit my shot on a par three and it was heading right towards the water."

MS says "Ah, so that's when you swore."

Nun says "No Mother Superior! As it was about to go into the water a bird came down and grabbed the ball in its mouth."

MS say "Is that when you swore?"

Nun says "No...the bird took the ball and dropped it on the green two feet from the hole."

MS looks at the nun for a moment and then says, "You missed the f*cking putt didn't you?"

post #131 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by dak4n6 View Post

Come to think of it, no other sport or game invokes anywhere near the level of intensity of self-beratement that is seen in golf.  Why is that?

Because you have absolutely nothing to blame but yourself.  In team sports you can put the blame on your teammates but in golf if you play bad, it's all on you.

post #132 of 178

About 80% of my matches (18/22) are team events, better ball, four ball, scotch, etc. Which is why I stopped cursing and getting outwardly upset on the course. In most circumstances it doesn't help the team and might even hurt our chances if it puts someone on edge or interrupts their flow. But if I though swearing would loosen someone up to play better then I would swear and not think twice about it.  Actually that is why I like team events so much, it adds another layer of team dynamics, it isn't just me.

 

Same thing when someone hits a bad shot, normally I just say straight up oh man that wasn't too good looks like you XYZ.  Usually they say no it wasn't XYZ it was MNO but that gives them the outlet to express their frustration and it much better than saying oh don't worry about it, could happen to anyone or something like that. Depends on the person though some guys don't respond well to straight talk, most do.

 

I still get upset and curse on the inside and my teammates know exactly when I do. But I'm a lot better about OK - I just need a couple seconds to vent internally ... OK - whew that's better ... next shot. Haven't run into any playing partners who are offended by that, YET!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by tmf9 View Post

Because you have absolutely nothing to blame but yourself.  In team sports you can put the blame on your teammates but in golf if you play bad, it's all on you.

post #133 of 178

Here in FLA a lot of courses are right in communities/subdivisions. Last week, I heard a story that a homeowner, who owned a pool-home right on a tee box of the course I play sold his house recently because his wife kept complaining that golfers would yell out expletives after bad tee shots and these were getting tired of hearing these classless players while in they were trying to enjoy their lanai/pool.

post #134 of 178
Sounds like those dumb****s shouldnt have bought a home on a golf course. Dont tell us the next home they bought is near a waste treatment facility and they had to move because they got tired of the smell?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Martin View Post

Here in FLA a lot of courses are right in communities/subdivisions. Last week, I heard a story that a homeowner, who owned a pool-home right on a tee box of the course I play sold his house recently because his wife kept complaining that golfers would yell out expletives after bad tee shots and these were getting tired of hearing these classless players while in they were trying to enjoy their lanai/pool.
post #135 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Martin View Post

Here in FLA a lot of courses are right in communities/subdivisions. Last week, I heard a story that a homeowner, who owned a pool-home right on a tee box of the course I play sold his house recently because his wife kept complaining that golfers would yell out expletives after bad tee shots and these were getting tired of hearing these classless players while in they were trying to enjoy their lanai/pool.

My neighbor blasts loud music at all hours. Where do I sign up to have his house replaced by a tee box?
post #136 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by onephenom View Post

It's easy to prevent the club from breaking if it's an iron or wedge! just turn the toe of the club to the ground... won't break and you can still get upset :) 
Good point, however, in that fit of rage breaking the club is kinda the goal. :)
post #137 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Martin View Post

Here in FLA a lot of courses are right in communities/subdivisions. Last week, I heard a story that a homeowner, who owned a pool-home right on a tee box of the course I play sold his house recently because his wife kept complaining that golfers would yell out expletives after bad tee shots and these were getting tired of hearing these classless players while in they were trying to enjoy their lanai/pool.

 

They must have been on the #1 handicap hole.

post #138 of 178

We live on a course and our house is behind the 13th green. Far enough that we don't get balls in the yard, but not so far that you can't hear the occasional F-bomb when a three footer lips out. My son, now eight, asked me a couple of years ago "why golfers are so unhappy all the time." I told him to wait till he starts playing himself. 

post #139 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stretch View Post

We live on a course and our house is behind the 13th green. Far enough that we don't get balls in the yard, but not so far that you can't hear the occasional F-bomb when a three footer lips out. My son, now eight, asked me a couple of years ago "why golfers are so unhappy all the time." I told him to wait till he starts playing himself. 

So my son started playing recently (he is 18).  Last week he went out about the time I was going for a MTB ride.  So I rode over to the course hoping to watch him play one hole.  I caught him at the 2nd hole.  His ball was off the right side of the fairway about 140 out.  He tried to get it over a small pine tree with his approach.  It was a solid hit, but just clipped the top of the tree.  I heard a muffled (F**K!).  

 

Welcome to the world of golf my son.

 

Stretch, do they swear in Afrikaan!  Saw Ernie Els mutter a few words after missing a putt a couple weeks back.

post #140 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mac62 View Post


Because no other sport is cruel enough to randomly, unpredictably rob you of your proficiency and make you feel so inept. a3_biggrin.gif

Bowling can.... back to back pocket 7-10's can really deflate your testicles in a hurry.

post #141 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spyder View Post

Bowling can.... back to back pocket 7-10's can really deflate your testicles in a hurry.

 

To me, bowling is the most frustrating sport there is...much more so than golf. I mean, golf is hard & we know it is. But c'mon...just take this heavy ball & roll it down this aisle and knock down those pins...and repeat ad infinitum? What's so damn hard about that? But I cannot bowl. That damn 5-pin spare frustrates the hell out of me - just one pin, right in the middle of the lane...knock it over. I can't! ARRRRGH!

post #142 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by zipazoid View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spyder View Post

Bowling can.... back to back pocket 7-10's can really deflate your testicles in a hurry.

 

To me, bowling is the most frustrating sport there is...much more so than golf. I mean, golf is hard & we know it is. But c'mon...just take this heavy ball & roll it down this aisle and knock down those pins...and repeat ad infinitum? What's so damn hard about that? But I cannot bowl. That damn 5-pin spare frustrates the hell out of me - just one pin, right in the middle of the lane...knock it over. I can't! ARRRRGH!


Bowling is a completely different world for me because I've always just done it for fun and never really set my sights toward improving - I just go to have fun and drink beer.  I can be halfway decent (not to confuse "decent" with "good") at bowling with pretty minimal effort, but for some reason rolling a gutterball isn't nearly as humiliating or frustrating to me as shanking a tee shot 30 yards right into the bushes.

post #143 of 178

We play with a great nine hole mid week working men's group. I play with a guy who is in his late 60's a complete gentlemen that everyone likes. He is like the perfect grandfather figure. My son and I were grouped up with him and he 3 putted a hole. Talk about Jeckle and Hyde. The guys goes off  "Fing  C__k  S____r  SOB!" My son (25 years old) and I are both commercial fishermen so we have heard and used these therapeutic forms of tension release in the past. We just look at each other and shared one of the biggest spontaneous laughs of our lives.c2_beer.gif

post #144 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Martin View Post

Here in FLA a lot of courses are right in communities/subdivisions. Last week, I heard a story that a homeowner, who owned a pool-home right on a tee box of the course I play sold his house recently because his wife kept complaining that golfers would yell out expletives after bad tee shots and these were getting tired of hearing these classless players while in they were trying to enjoy their lanai/pool.

anyone who buys a house directly on a t box or a green must be nuts. Especially on the back nine holes. On hot summer days not only do they get the privilege of hearing expletives they more often than not will get shows of the weekend warriors relieving themselves after too many purchases of adult beverages from the hot cart girl.

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