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The Definitive &#(@%ing Cursing/Swearing/Cussing/Profanity Thread - Page 10

post #163 of 178

Funny stuff, this thread.  Here's an idea.  Why not have a topic category that allows swearing. Maybe have an agreement of terms box you have to check so you know what to expect. Then let people go off on bad shots, bad breaks and golf idiots that seem to turn up all too often.

post #164 of 178

When I play golf I do the good old Tiger Woods, let the club drop behind me and cuss at myself in 3rd person.  So a bad shot goes something like this for me:

*Slices the driver 260 yards into the trees* Club drops behind me* I say to myself "Nice shot Darron you f****** idiot" *Pick up my club* Head to the cart *Find my ball* Repeat process 4 times (or more)*

I threw a club 1 time the first time I was out (some old rented junkers) it hit a tree and it came back at me quickly, wont do that again.

My favorite form of stress relief is on one of my home courses there is a giant field next to one of the holes so if I am playing poorly at that point I grab a crappy ball from my bag and hit it as far and as hard as I can into the field,it makes me feel better lol.

post #165 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhicks33 View Post
 

When I play golf I do the good old Tiger Woods, let the club drop behind me and cuss at myself in 3rd person.  So a bad shot goes something like this for me:

*Slices the driver 260 yards into the trees* Club drops behind me* I say to myself "Nice shot Darron you f****** idiot" *Pick up my club* Head to the cart *Find my ball* Repeat process 4 times (or more)*

I threw a club 1 time the first time I was out (some old rented junkers) it hit a tree and it came back at me quickly, wont do that again.

My favorite form of stress relief is on one of my home courses there is a giant field next to one of the holes so if I am playing poorly at that point I grab a crappy ball from my bag and hit it as far and as hard as I can into the field,it makes me feel better lol.

Lol, if your like me you hit a slice into the trees then hit your crappy ball straight as an arrow into the field.

post #166 of 178

Swearing and getting upset on the course is a serious issue for me. I gave up the game for over 3 years(although I did play 4 or 5 times, but used to play 2-3 rds a week), because of these issues. I have a temper problem and it has also caused me to be fired from more than one job over the years. I have taken meds, went to anger management and although I[m getting better in my 40s its still a issue for me in Golf and everyday life....

 

. As another poster stated, I can't believe how calm 99 percent of golfer are. Its funny, one of the best golfers of all time, TW gets more upset than almost anyone(but I have noticed since last year he is a lot calmer on bad shots). I can't stand these no personality PGA tour players like: Duffner, Kuchner and several other's. I like guys like-Will Mackinzie, Henrik Stenson(yes he has some personality) and several other's. I don't know what it is about Duffner, but I cannot stand that dude! Plus he went to Awwwburn!

post #167 of 178

It's funny how much we expect of ourselves, even as beginners. I used to cuss really bad, even broke a few clubs (not proud of). Luckily I have calmed down a lot since. I play a lot with my two sons who unfortunately have inherited my intensity. I am trying hard to teach them about staying level and how getting pissed only ruins the next few shots or round. It's an up hill battle.

 

Every once in a while someone we are playing with will cuss and apologize for it around my boys. I just tell them "It's ok, they hear worse in school. All we can do is teach them timing."  :-D

post #168 of 178
I will let out some serious cuss yells but usually only if I make the same mistake, like hit it fat the 2nd or 3rd or 4th time that round. That p**ses me off like nothing else. I find letting it out helps clear the mind, at least that's what I tell people during my apology.

I know if I've hit a great shot cuz one of my playing partners (a 70-yr old guy) calls me a c***su***r. Every time, and he's from SC so the way he says it is frickin hilarious.
post #169 of 178

Favourites:

 

 

"JESUS F*CKING CHRIST"

"That was piss and sh*t" - Spartacus Reference

"PERFECT!!!!..........example of a f*cking terrible golf shot"

"Once again the golf gods ram cock in f*cking ass" - Spartacus Reference

post #170 of 178

I'm not much for out loud "serious" displays of anger, but I do like to curse sometimes in a more humorous way.  It's therapeutic.

 

I like to treat my ball as an animate object and I call it names when it goes bad places.  Usually mother effer, sometimes a-hole, and also various derogatory names for homosexuals.  (I know those are un-kosher, but like I said, it's not loud, it's just between me and my ball, so I don't think it should offend anybody.  Except my ball ... I hope he gets offended, the little pr*ck!!!)

post #171 of 178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strausy007 View Post
 

Lol, if your like me you hit a slice into the trees then hit your crappy ball straight as an arrow into the field.

That is usually what happens. I think I have hit 2 of my longest drives ever into that field.

post #172 of 178

Yesterday I cursed twice.  It was barely an audible whisper, but it was a curse.  Both times were as a result of receiving an email from a co-worker, and my response was "are you f**kin serious?"

post #173 of 178

I was practicing in the basement last night - cursing violently at my god damn f*cking sh!t takeaway,

post #174 of 178

F*CK YEAH! ;-)

 

post #175 of 178
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mvmac View Post
 

F*CK YEAH! ;-)

 

And… stolen.

post #176 of 178

Well I thought I would revive this old thread with a quote from Shorty....  :-P (not directed at Shorty, just using a point he made)

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shorty View Post

 

 

Heterosexuals don't get to decide what offends the gay community. That's not political correctness. That's arrogance and ignorance of the worst type.

 

 

Who gets to decide who is offended by curse words???

 

Lets say some are (religious groups perhaps)..  Would it be arrogance and ignorance to continue to use curse words even if they are offended??

 

(ok, so I am little bored at work this afternoon)

post #177 of 178

The fewer people around, the louder I curse. Thinking about it when I'm calm, it's actually kind of funny. I'll have rounds where I think I'm all alone and completely cut loose. Then I'll run into someone on the back nine, join him and become a regular golf-playing angel for a few holes.

post #178 of 178

Here in Michigan a few years back on July 4th.   There was a guy that fell off of a raft on the Rifle River and cussed up a storm.  

 

The story, which made headlines in 1999, began when Timothy J. Boomer, while on a canoe outing with friends, fell into the frigid waters of the Rifle River and unleashed an emphatic stream of profanities.

 

Perhaps the story could have stopped right there, had Mr. Boomer, then 25, had access to some of Mr. O'Connor's advice.

 

Find an alternative for an outburst of emotion, like Shucks! Gadzooks! Or Freaking. ''If you are looking for a substitute for every specific curse word you use . . . pick words that sound similar.'' Shoot! is ''a logical substitute because it is a mere vowel away from what really wants to be said.''

 

But Mr. Boomer's luck grew worse. A police officer in earshot of the vulgarities ticketed him for violating a 1897 law banning ''indecent, immoral, obscene, vulgar or insulting language'' in the presence of women or children.

 

Mr. O'Connor adds a few more to the list, warning: ''It's unwise to swear at your mother, your employer, the person you sleep with on a regular basis and anyone who appears to be heavily armed.''

During the court proceedings, a woman testified that Mr. Boomer's fiery words where loud enough to make her ears burn at 40 yards and that she had to cover her toddler's ears.

 

If you have penchant for profanity and you are unsure it offends people, ask them, says Mr. O'Connor.  (ya right!)

 

Mr. Boomer's defense invoked the First Amendment right to freedom of speech. Prosecutors countered that his oaths did not constitute speech because they were not clear thoughts.

 

Although freedom of speech is protected by the Constitution, Mr. O'Connor says, ''Claiming our verbal privileges as American citizens is often nothing more than an excuse to be lazy about how we speak.''

 

The court found Mr. Boomer guilty, fining him $75 and requiring him to perform four days of community service. He appealed, and his luck finally turned. Last week's decision said the law was unconstitutionally vague.

 

Mr. Boomer's sentence was overturned, ending the battle of the bad words. But swearing has hardly been vindicated. As Mr. O'Connor writes:

''The vocal energy needed to mumble single-syllable, four letter words is equal to the energy needed to drool.''

 
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