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Gimme Your Best Story While Golfing With Your Significant Other

post #1 of 33
Thread Starter 

I gotta say that my wife is not a golfer but she got the urge to play one day when I took my son and daughter out to play 9 holes. On the second hole we were in the middle of the fairway looking to hit our second shots to the green. My wife pulls out a 5 iron and takes a big swing at the ball then looks toward the green and says "where did it go?" She missed the ball completely it was still between her feet! She swung again and missed, she swung again and missed! Then she swore and then she picked the ball up a threw it down the fairway. My son started laughing and fell to the ground he may have peed his pants I can't remember but it was a moment that will go down in history in our family.   

post #2 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mulligan Jeff View Post

I gotta say that my wife is not a golfer but she got the urge to play one day when I took my son and daughter out to play 9 holes. On the second hole we were in the middle of the fairway looking to hit our second shots to the green. My wife pulls out a 5 iron and takes a big swing at the ball then looks toward the green and says "where did it go?" She missed the ball completely it was still between her feet! She swung again and missed, she swung again and missed! Then she swore and then she picked the ball up a threw it down the fairway. My son started laughing and fell to the ground he may have peed his pants I can't remember but it was a moment that will go down in history in our family.   

First time my wife ever played:

 

When we (finally) made it to the first green she had about a 40 foot double breaking putt. I carefully read the putt for her and explained everything I was looking at on the green to determine the breaks. After a couple of minutes, and with an "I don't care about anything you are saying" look on her face she just said "I think I'm going to just putt it halfway to the hole and then just make it on the second putt."

 

Okay, now I'm fairly disgusted because I had wasted my time teaching her to read a putt so I just told her to go ahead and do it her way. Then darned if she didn't do exactly what she said she was going to do and made the 20 footer like it was nothing.

 

z6_surrender.gif

post #3 of 33

I took mine once...............never again, longest round of my life.........funny thing is she informed me before we went that golf  "can't be that hard".

post #4 of 33
2 things you never try to teach your wife/GF....

....how to golf, or how to drive a car!
post #5 of 33

My wife, Sherrie, began golfing only after she saw what a great time our daughter, Kelly, and I had together on the course. After finding an inexpensive set of clubs, I took her to the driving range. (It must be noted there was golf in her genetics, as her grandfather first shot his age at 66.)  When she seemed to enjoy the driving range, I got her a better set of golf clubs and encouraged her to take groups lessons with a local female instructor. Now she is a golf addict and loves playing 9 holes and going to dinner on a weekly basis. We also do a number of couples events with friends every summer.

 

The funniest story I can come up with is when Sherrie began golfing, her goal was to make a score on any given hole with a name.  She would try for a par, bogie, or double bogie, but not be very successful. Then I mentioned that an 8 was called a snowman, and she said, "That works for me, I have several of those on my scorecard." (Her game has improved and she now shoots 50-55 regularly for 9 holes.)

post #6 of 33
I was playing with a group of older gentlemen. As we were coming off the green of around the 5th hole one of the guys asked me, "how much do you think that flag stick weighs?" I answered, "I really don't know, why?" and he replied, "it must be pretty damn heavy because you haven't picked it up all day!"

I laughed and made sure that I started picking it up on some of the remaining holes.
post #7 of 33

DW quote: She (beer cart girl) keeps turning up like a bad penny.

post #8 of 33

the story that came to mind doesnt include golf as much as her on a golf course.

post #9 of 33

The best thing about my wife and golf, she's never playedc2_beer.gif

post #10 of 33

I tried to teach my wife a few things about Golf the other day at the range. The whole time I am teaching her my 5 year old son keeps yelling: "Let me teach you Mommy, I can show you better!"  We laughed at him a bit and I kept on trying to show her what to do without much success.  She got a bit fed up with me as I didn't know how to dumb it down and was blowing her away with information.  After much pestering we finally let my son show her his style of coaching.  So he steps up to the ball and says "Mommy just do it like this!" and did his best wind up and swing.  Lo and behold my wife replicates what he did and she ends up hitting it about 100 yards down the range.  At this point I said "I am firing myself, he is your new coach" and we enjoyed the rest of the night at the range.
 

post #11 of 33

The other day, my lady friend was really excited to come out with me... didn't want to play, just drive the cart and watch me. She was soooo excited. About 5 or 6 holes in.... she's in the passenger seat playing games on my phone and complaining that it was cold until I finished playing. 

 

 

At least she stuck it out!

post #12 of 33

I have two quick stories.  I took the risk and actually decided to teach my girlfriend golf.  After a couple weeks of helping her at a range we tried a local 9 hole par 3 course.  Lo and behold she knocks it on the green from her tee shot and is left with about a 35 footer with strong right to left break.  She asks me "how hard should i hit it", and i was like "um firm, but not too hard".  She looked at me with a frustrated look, "what the hell does that mean".  At that point, she just went for it and made it for a birdie.  First hole ever and she birdies it.  She thought golf was so easy, until the very next hole and got a triple bogey.  That's when she realized how hard golf really is.

 

A couple months later we were playing at a full 18 hole par 72 course.  We were on a long par 5 and she had an approach shot about 150 yds out.  She skulled her iron and the line drive flew no more than 2 ft in the air and hit one of the little cart signs (which was made of rock) about a 100 yds down the fairway.  The ball hits the sign and ricochets straight back at us and went right by us about 10 yards behind us.  It was the funniest thing and had all of us laughing uncontrollably.

post #13 of 33

I love these stories.  a few months ago I let my girlfriend at the time go golfing with me and my friends.  I tried to show her a few things before we started but she was way to dumb to do it right.  Before we started I just wanted to hold her head in the dirty water bucket were we clean our shoes forever, not literally.  I give her some credit because she was trying to fit in with the guys, but it was pissing me the hell off.  She insisted on burping and farting real loud like the other guys were.  It was some of the grossest toxic plasma I ever smelled, every time I was freaking putting for birdie or eagle!  I think she must have let more than gas go too, because on the ride home she smelled like your fingers smell after you eat french fries and get ketchup on your fingers and like it off but you forget to wash your hands.  Sure enough on the last hole I was putting to win the whole match and the whole time I was thinking here it comes, here it comes.  I waited forever and sure enough when I started my putting swing she ripped out the worst of the day like she was trying to blast off to mt. rushmore, and her big butt was about 2 inches away from my face.  Also she kept denting the greens when she walked on them, it was like trying to putt on mt. rushmore.  The worst part was I had to go on disability from my job that I interviewed for, because when she sat in the cart it put so much pressure on the suspension it pulled the front wheels about 90 degrees to her side, so I spent the whole day burning out my pecs trying to drive the cart.  Dont ever play with her, don't want to mention her name because she ended up marrying my dad for a while.

post #14 of 33

WTF?  That was the dumbest fake story i've read on here.  I can't believe you wasted time thinking that up.

post #15 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moto19 View Post

WTF?  That was the dumbest fake story i've read on here.  I can't believe you wasted time thinking that up.

Yeah. Parents really should keep any eye on their 12 year olds when they play on the computer. Please monitor your kids Internet use.
post #16 of 33
Quote:
Originally Posted by cooke119 View Post

The best thing about my wife and golf, she's never played:beer:
Amen brother! I love my wife and we do a lot of things together but golf ain't one of em.
post #17 of 33

Several years ago Shirley and I played together on a team in our annual company scramble. My wife is 4-foot-10 and doesn't hit the ball very far.

 

Anyway, we're playing No. 10, a 450-yd. par 4 with a creek about 50 yards in front of the green. Our best approach was a lay-up short of the creek, and from there we all wedged in poorly and left ourselves a 40-foot putt.

 

This is a slick, downhill double-break putt. Us three guys are surveying the line, checking the sheen of the grass, and estimating the optimum vector. So my wife walks up to the ball, takes her fiberglas-shafted (pre-graphite!!) Shakespeare putter, and rolls that ball straight into the center of the cup.

 

Par is saved!

 

"You guys take too long!" she shouts as she walks back to the cart.

post #18 of 33

Man, where to begin?  First off, I'll say playing golf with my wife is very enjoyable.  She plays decently, likes to drink beer during the round and can swear like a sailor when a bad shot shows up!  Heck, she's much more fun to play with than a few of my regular golf buddies.

 

We go on a golf trip or two each year.  Early on in her playing career we're in Tampa area playing at Heritage Isles course.  Hole 1 ok, hole 2 the houses along fairway start showing up.  "Wait a minute, you didn't say anything about HOUSES on this course!!! What the hell is up with HOUSES on a GOLF COURSE ANYWAY?!!!"  Her 5th shot on #2 was a 5-hybrid from about 50 yards, (guess I wasn't watching and coaching her on this shot) which was crushed.  Flies the green crosses the road and hits some guy's Cadillac parked in the driveway on the fly!  Of course, I had to go over, knock on the door and inspect the guys car with him for 10 minutes apologizing all the while.

 

When we have to wait to play, she'll rummage around naturalized areas looking for free balls.  After searching and finding a few balls I ask, 'what did you find over there?'  She replies, "A pinnacle and a couple of Top-Flites. I just threw 'em back."  Gotta love that girl!

 

Her most used line during a round:  "Crap, that was a brand new Noodle!"  Water or OB the usual source of her dismay.

 

Next most used line on the course:  "Where the hell is that BEER LADY?!!!"

 

Third most used line on the course:  "Honey, is there a bathroom coming up soon?"  I'm thinking, well sure, isn't there one on every hole?!!!

 

Again, we have a blast playing together and I'm very happy that she plays well enough to enjoy the game, the outdoors and spending time together.  I understand golf isn't for every wife/significant other, but if you can convince a spouse to give it a serious try, she might really enjoy it.

 

dave

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