I'm pretty excited for the U.S. Open. It's my favorite tournament, as it is for a lot of people. I think one of the reasons so many people especially like the Open is because it's one of those tournaments where pros get beat up the way weekend golfers do every time they go out (of course, a pro getting beat up by a course might mean +5 whereas a duffer getting beat up means a much higher score).
I was talking about this with some friends at the office, and we started wondering how pros would do when faced with the conditions that many weekend golfers play in on a regular basis. To that end, we started spitballing rules for a special tournament, the People's Open. I thought I'd toss out what we came up with and see if you guys had any ideas.
The People's Open: Tournament Rules
1. The Tournament must take place at a public golf course that fulfills all of the following conditions:
-- The course must have never hosted a professional event at any level or an NCAA event;
-- The course must not have won any awards for course design or player experience;
-- The greens fee for the general public to play 18 holes cannot be any more than $50.
2. The organization responsible for the course may not take any extraordinary steps to prepare the course for the Tournament. The course should in the same condition as it would be for a normal day of play. Course personnel may not deviate from previously established schedules for aerating greens, remediating crab grass, etc.
3. Players must use carts. No caddies are permitted.
4. If the course provides players with a yardage book in its usual course of business, it may provide players with a copy of the same book. If not, players may bring their own yardage books, provided that no other person aided in the preparation of the book.
5. Each day of the tournament, the first groups to start each morning and afternoon will consist of four amateurs. All of the amateurs in each group must have handicaps of at least 17, and at least two of the amateurs must have handicaps of at least 27. The amateurs may not allow any other groups to play through.
6. All other players will play in foursomes consisting of three professionals and one randomly selected amateur. The amateur may, at his or her discretion, carry a cell phone and use it as necessary. The spouses, children, and co-workers of these amateurs will not be informed of the amateur's participation in the tournament.
7. Beer cart girls will circulate the course and may interrupt play as needed. All amateurs will be given a forty dollar allowance for refreshments during the round, all of which must be spent by the round's conclusion.
8. Side-betting is encouraged. Successful side-bets, won skins, won Nassaus, and any other forms of wagering will be factored into the player's tournament score.
9. Official observers are forbidden. All rules remain in force; however, policing the rules will be the sole responsibility of the players.
10. Players must drink no fewer than eight, 12-ounce domestic beers during the course of the round.
11. Players must eat at least one hot dog and snack sized bag of chips at the turn.
12. Galleries will not be permitted; however, no other special measures will be taken to quiet down other groups, course personnel, etc. during a player's shot.
13. The "amateur foursome" groups will be provided portable stereos in their carts, which they may use to play music at any volume they deem appropriate.
14. No special penalties will be enforced for shouting at the ball, loudly celebrating a well-struck shot, loudly bemoaning a poorly-struck shot (which may or may not include profanity), or driving one's club into the turf after a poorly-struck shot.