Originally Posted by mvarley84
It amazes me how many people on here obviously don't have kids, or are so ancient that they don't remember their children's childhood let alone their own. The kid is 12, he is a little emotional about possibly getting kicked out of his club...Does he have a bad attitude? Of course, no one is debating that or downgrading it. All I am saying is that there are far more constructive ways to 1) Keep the kids confidence in one piece, 2) TEACH him a thing or two about golf etiquette...Obviously the senior members at his club have let this kid fall through the cracks.
12 year old kids are very mouldable...they learn quick, and it becomes instinctual with little correction. The same cannot be said for the crusty farts on here who are ready to belittle the kid and chuck him to the wolves for his crimes against golf.
I agree with this. I recently played a 9-hole round with my daughter, who is still in elementary school, and several relatives, who are a childless couple. My daughter was not playing well, was making some easily correctable mistakes, and the relatives started hitting her with suggestions that she took as criticisms, causing her to get very upset. The relatives got very impatient with my daughter, completely forgetting that a) she is more than a decade away from being an adult; b) they expect everyone else to be altogether patient with them; and c) they themselves become very touchy about anyone pointing out obvious problems with their own games. Standards for raising children have changed a lot in the past 30-40 years, too. The autocratic adult stating "Children should be seen but not heard" doesn't fly with most parents these days and doesn't fly with me. I allow my daughter to speak her mind, even to an extent that would have been unacceptable to my parents when I was growing up. I do not allow her to be rude or turn opinion-spouting into obstruction, however.
Maybe this 12 year-old kid isn't that bad and is dealing with some cranky, intolerant oldsters and didn't have the maturity and temperament to deal with them properly. Or maybe he really does have an out-of-control antagonistic personality and should have had his membership in the club terminated long before - none of us have sufficient information to make that decision. And yes, I have read the whole thread. The kid got defensive in response to criticism here, but claimed he was joking and maybe he was. Aside from that one comment, he's said nothing else that could reasonably lead one to believe that he's an awful person instead of just a kid with a temper who gets upset when he makes a bad shot. Slice of Life stated "It started off civil until the kid kept on with his entitled attitude and blamed everyone else for his issues" That's not accurate - he didn't "keep on" showing an entitled attitude - he made a single frustrated comment that he later explained was a joke. He then complained, several times, that adults here were picking on him. He said he apologized, he wrote a letter of apology, and he wishes this were all in the past. I don't see a problem with these actions. I don't see how anyone could find fault with someone wishing to put a negative experience in the past. I have no way of looking inside this kid's head and determining whether his apologies were sincere or not, but apparently there are several people on this thread who do think themselves that omniscient.
The problem is that several people in this thread have made assumptions without adequate information and have become very antagonistic without adequate provocation (assuming that there is such a thing when dealing with a 12 year-old child). It almost seems that some individuals on this thread are transferring their frustrations with someone from their own lives to the OP. Calling someone a brat is name-calling, whereas stating the OP is immature is descriptive. Same thing as "some people on this thread are jumping to conclusions" vs. "there are some jumping-to-conclusions &^%$$!s on this thread." The bottom line is that the adults on this thread should not be calling a 12 year-old boy "ignorant," "vile and despicable" and a "brat" - it's almost comical how lacking in appropriate self-control some people are, yet they are slamming the OP for his conduct. It would be comical except that there maybe be a real 12 year old child at the receiving end of this excessive hostility.
One question I've got is where the heck were Golfboy12's parents during all of this? I categorically would deny someone private access to interrogate and berate my child - I damn well would be sitting in on the meeting with the club official so I would know first-hand what the accusations were, how my child responded, and to make sure that the meeting was fair and appropriate for a child of that age. If the club did not notify the parents of the meeting, that is simply wrong - a 12 year-old does not have the legal capacity to sign a binding contract to join a club without parental/guardian authorization and I would think the club should have involved the parents if they were contemplating revoking the child's membership. If the complaints were even slightly justified, I would have written my own letter of apology to the club detailing steps I would be taking with my child to cure the problem and turn his behavior on the course into a non-issue.
I wonder what the odds are that Shorty got bored and created an alter ego here with the member name Golfboy12?
Edited by Wisguy - 6/27/13 at 2:06pm