There was an episode of the Fox animated series King of the Hill (KOTH) where Bobby, the slightly nerdy son of all-Americanish lead character Hank Hill quits the little league American football team on which his dad wants him to play and instead joins the soccer team, coached by a long-haired, bespectacled, East Coast hippy peacenik. At the beginning of the episode, Hank gives his son a little advice about the sport:
Bobby, I never thought I'd need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.
Toward the end of a very lengthy nil-nil (tied at 0-0) game, Bobby gets a fast break (if such things are called that in soccer), is heading toward the goal with the entire field empty before him and suddenly his coach screams out
"Slow down! We've already got the tie! We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings!"
Sorry, but any sporting event where all of its fans think it's incredibly cool to scream GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL for a full 96 seconds after that rarest of events - someone actually scores - occurs is but one thing: lame. Don't even get me started about all the diving those cry-baby Europrancers do. Soccer is lamer than a two-legged dog.
Some may wish to disagree with me, but you would be more wrong than if you contended neither Tiger nor Jack were even good enough to be considered scratch golfers.
That is all.