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Help with losing my temper - Page 2

post #19 of 43

I'm an overtly competitive person and I still don't understand how someone can get that angry playing golf....unless they are trying to support their family with it. Just know that this anger is most likely negatively effecting your play. Remember that every shot you hit...you get experience. If you hit it an a poor spot then you get a chance to play a shot from somewhere you normally wouldn't. All of this makes you a better golfer. Force yourself to smile. :)

post #20 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crim View Post
 

I'm an overtly competitive person and I still don't understand how someone can get that angry playing golf....unless they are trying to support their family with it. Just know that this anger is most likely negatively effecting your play. Remember that every shot you hit...you get experience. If you hit it an a poor spot then you get a chance to play a shot from somewhere you normally wouldn't. All of this makes you a better golfer. Force yourself to smile. :)

 

Yeah that is incredibly important to remember.  It goes back to the Edison line where he said he never failed to invent the lightbulb, he simply found several hundred ways not to.

post #21 of 43

Why is it alway sucky people who have these tempers? I guess its the inconsistencty that frustrates them?

 

Its kinda sad that people act out like this, get over yourself plox

post #22 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by slightlymad View Post
 

Why is it alway sucky people who have these tempers? I guess its the inconsistencty that frustrates them?

 

Its kinda sad that people act out like this, get over yourself plox

 

I would say that it is the frustration that does not allow for consistency.  

post #23 of 43
This game is hard, real hard. A couple rounds ago I couldnt his a decent iron shot to save my life. An older gentleman who got paired with us would say something like " Oh well, you could always be at work." Something as simple as that made me chuckle and gave me perspective. It's a game for crying out loud LOL
post #24 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by RonTheSavage View Post
 " Oh well, you could always be at work." 

That's my fallback mantra when a round goes south on me. I crappy round of golf is better than a LOT of the alternatives.

post #25 of 43

In my view, this thread about emotional self-control is no more representative of reality as the average internet discussion about driving distance.

post #26 of 43
Its easy to say its just a game and have fun to someone but it doesn't address the issue of why you're angry.

The key to controlling temper is to find the source of it. Cut that off and the temper is banished.

For example it may be that losing your temper is connected to how one deals with any disappointment in there life. When things don't go our way it often reveals our ability to cope.

Not saying this is the case but it addresses the route cause of the anger. The anger is an effect of a pattern of thinking.
If you can open your mind to a more holistic way of thinking I strongly suggest a sports psychology book of some sort in particular one that's golf related.

It will help with acceptance of the game and the course. Actually I would say it will help you embrace the challenge and that the fun is had in the imperfection of golf getting yourself out of trouble. It will expand your mind to think differently about golf itself.

Life is too short to stress over something which really can be a joyful experience when we learn to approach it in a fuller way and not how we expect it to bend to our will.
post #27 of 43

i agree, its how a child reacts when things dont go their way. 

 

all of the people who i know who play like this, also have some of this behaviour in other parts of their life.

post #28 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by looseleftie View Post

Hello all, I have been slowly getting better at this game, and with this have my moments of utter rage!!! I'm a placid gentle guy, but competitive with myself.. I am in need of help/advice in order to curb this behaviour.. I get frustrated when having a couple of good holes then following it up with a couple of poor ones, over last month have broken driver, 5 wood , buggy and dinted another club or two... I am so desperate to improve , and understand that it is a long process.. Anyway any ideas on how to handle this appreciated, as I can't afford to keep replacing clubs😒...

I think we've lost the op.
post #29 of 43
I used to have a bad temper, but I was paired with a guy that had a worse temper. It was kind of like watching myself, and I didn't like what I was seeing. I saw how it affected the other guys in the group, and what a selfish act it was. I came to the conclusion that I had no right to ruin their four hours. The thing is, when I was able to accept the occasional bad shot, I became a better player. Everyone hits bad shots. Everyone has bad rounds. That does not make anyone a bad person. It is real easy to be good company when things are going well. I think the true measure is to remain a good guy when things go bad.
post #30 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by rustyredcab View Post


I think we've lost the op.

 

No surprise there. If this thread were swing advice, it would say "keep your eye on the ball"

post #31 of 43
Thread Starter 

Still here RustyRed, yeah love the many thoughts/suggestions of posters here, in particular, one comment "better than being at work" has stuck on me, also "it's not my living, enjoy it".. Fantastic, simple and accurate advice..

 

Have replaced nearly all of my bent or destroyed clubs now, and have decided to go with the flo !!

 

Enjoy my golf, enjoy it all, the good and the bad shots, as another poster mentioned its all experience..Kurb my temper, absolutely no club whacking/throwing, and just smile when I muck up a hole.. Life is too short to walk around pi$$ed off on a golf course!

post #32 of 43

Good luck with the new and improved attitude.

post #33 of 43
For most of my life, I have had a laid back personality, but in my early golfing days, I could sometimes lose that on the golf course. I wasn't too bad about tantrums or club throwing, but would very rarely give one a toss. When I was about a sophomore in college, I was playing on a hole that ran parallel and in the opposite direction from another hole. A couple of guys were playing on the parallel hole, and one hit a bad wedge shot. Frustrated, he pitched his club toward the cart. He didn't really "helicopter" it, more of an underhanded toss, but it hit his buddy in the head. His buddy fell to his knees with blood coming from the cut. They hopped on the cart and headed for the house. I haven't thrown a club since, and never will. As I grew more mature, and realized that I probably was not tour material (he he), I got over myself and realized as others have said in this thread, that golf is a privilege and a bad day at golf is better than a good day a lot of other places.

I don't get upset at my shots much any more, although a high pulled drive and a lateral wedge can increase the blood pressure. The most I will do though, is say
S__T! under my breath and to myself, then smile and realized I am playing golf!
post #34 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crim View Post

I'm an overtly competitive person and I still don't understand how someone can get that angry playing golf....unless they are trying to support their family with it. Just know that this anger is most likely negatively effecting your play. Remember that every shot you hit...you get experience. If you hit it an a poor spot then you get a chance to play a shot from somewhere you normally wouldn't. All of this makes you a better golfer. Force yourself to smile. :)

What a great response! I was just thinking about my game in that same light.

I can be playing relatively well and thinking I'm gonna have good score then I hit one into a Pecan tree or hit behind the ball. Years ago I would have let it bother me. From that point on the frustration of the last shot would impact the next shot. Frustration from that point on would be a mathematic progression. Then the fun and enjoyment would be lost. Now I hit the tree and think firstly Well Crap. But then I think Hey this is a shot Ive never had to deal with before. I have an opportunity to learn! I learn how to handle a new and difficult situation and learn not to do what I did to get pecans to the ground. I am happy also to have made pecans available to the squirrels running around on the ground. I laugh at myself and envision happy squirrels. I put it behind me as nothing bad had happened and tell myself that I'm starting the hole over from that point.

I did not go to the course to get kicked in the arse. I went to have fun. So why kick myself??

Zen golf and happy squirrels. :)
post #35 of 43
I can't understand why people throw clubs or have tantrums. I totally suck at golf and the better I get, the more I realize I suck.

I play for the shots. I used to struggle to break 100. Now I struggle to break 90. Lets face it - nobody gives a rats if I shoot 92 or 88. But there is unquestionable joy in a perfectly struck wedge or a drive smashed down the middle. That's why I play. 90 bad shots are erased by 1 shot struck pure. That's the reality of golf as most of us play it. If you're getting mad, stop playing for the score and start playing for the shot.
post #36 of 43
Quote:
Originally Posted by looseleftie View Post

Hello all, I have been slowly getting better at this game, and with this have my moments of utter rage!!! I'm a placid gentle guy, but competitive with myself.. I am in need of help/advice in order to curb this behaviour.. I get frustrated when having a couple of good holes then following it up with a couple of poor ones, over last month have broken driver, 5 wood , buggy and dinted another club or two... I am so desperate to improve , and understand that it is a long process.. Anyway any ideas on how to handle this appreciated, as I can't afford to keep replacing clubs😒...
Anger is an important part of golf. Will make you great but you just need to make sure you recollect. Tiger accepts his anger and after he fumes he is on to the next shot
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