Originally Posted by iacas
It's not like that. I get what you're saying, but again, it's just not like that.
That's all people are saying, the bold part. @David in FL knew that Graeme didn't particularly agree when he said "good shot" and he knew not to say it again unless it was a truly great shot. But the people - including me - who are saying "be careful when saying 'good shot'" are just trying to help people avoid the little stink eye that Dave got.
No issues - I realize I'm saying the same thing. But my point is I don't treat a scratch or a 20 any differently - I usually don't even know what their handicap is going in (nor care too much unless I see something cool that I want to observe). So if saying "nice shot" to the scratch or the 20 isn't received "as intended" then I try to recognize their self imposed tension and respect it. I know that when I'm not playing up to snuff, I feel the same way. But usually I'll just be direct "I'm gonna withdraw and pout for a while to focus, don't mind me if I'm not too social for a bit" - and people will respect that.
It's a much better approach than stink eye (that's kinda rude if you think about it - essentially taking your tension and pushing it on the others) followed by venting on a golf forum.
But, like I said, I've only played with maybe 4 scratch's. 1 had exactly this symptom, so I stopped (but he just politely commented "no, for me that's NOT a good shot"). 2 - the other one was so wound up and uptight that everybody had to stand just so, move just so and take just these turns - won't play with him every again. 3 - a guy that played within himself. A couple drinks, trash talk, one of the guys. 4 - and another that was exceptionally social and fun and didn't care one way or the other.
so, I'm not seeing anything unique here: my personal sample was 4 people and 4 very different personalities