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Tantrums on Golf Course

post #1 of 46
Thread Starter 

I am extremely intense when I play sports and I have that extreme desire to win and absolutely hate to lose.

 

I have played sports my entire life and the intensity and aggression I had on the football field and basketball court does not just go away because I am playing golf. However I do try my absolute hardest to keep my cool no matter what is going on or how bad I am playing, but there is times where I just can not hold my frustration in.

 

The thing is, when you get angry / frustrated etc. when playing other sports like basketball and/or football you can take it out in the game by playing harder defense, sprinting down the court faster, driving to the lane harder, making a more aggressive block / tackle...there is outlets within the game to release that energy. In golf however, you have to just suck it up and let it simmer inside.

 

I think I have came a long way from when I first started playing to accepting bad shots, holes, rounds etc. but every now and then as I mentioned I just can not contain it. Ex. I am trying so hard to break 90 and was on pace to do so with 3 holes left to play the other day. Then on the 16th tee, I carded an 8 (on a par 4). The crazy part is as angry as I was in realizing that I just lost my chance to break 90, I actually held it all inside and just tried to walk it off before the next tee. While holding all this anger and frustration inside there was no way I was going to hit a good tee shot on the next hole and I didint, I chunked it and the ball went rolling about 20 yards. Then I lost it and slammed my club against the tire of the golf cart. I know it was stupid and I should not have but I felt like I had to do something....then my playing partner (who I do not know other than this round) told me off! I was in shock. I didnt yell back at him because in a way he was right...I should not have done that but at the same time, how did it bother his life or his round at all. I have played with people who threw MUCH bigger tantrums (breaking clubs etc) on the course than what I did. Although I feel like I was wrong for doing it. I also don't think it was nearly a big enough deal for my playing partner to yell and carry on at me over it. 

 

Please don't reply with "your not good enough to care so much to slam a club etc." - I hate those types of statements. Its how much I care that drives me to practice and play so hard. Anyways, any advice for not blowing up on the course and still being able to regroup and hit your next shot?

 

post #2 of 46

Realize that blowing up makes you look like a moron and that it's not doing yourself any favors. It's also disrespectful to playing partners and, whether you like hearing it or not, you're not good enough to get that mad.

 

Keep it to yourself. It's just golf.

post #3 of 46

My friend is 41. He throws tantrums on the golf course like he's 4.

 

Guess who has a hard time finding playing partners because no one wants to play with him any more?

 

We all get pissed and lose our cool sometimes. It happens. But just because some other bonehead threw a nutty and broke a club doesn't mean it's OK or acceptable. I don't blame your playing partner for telling you off, because acting out like that just isn't acceptable. If you wouldn't let your kids get away with something like that in public, why would it be OK for you?

post #4 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russtopher View Post
 

My friend is 41. He throws tantrums on the golf course like he's 4.

 

Guess who has a hard time finding playing partners because no one wants to play with him any more?

 

We all get pissed and lose our cool sometimes. It happens. But just because some other bonehead threw a nutty and broke a club doesn't mean it's OK or acceptable. I don't blame your playing partner for telling you off, because acting out like that just isn't acceptable. If you wouldn't let your kids get away with something like that in public, why would it be OK for you?

 

No need to be so dramatic. I never said it was "OK" or "acceptable" because I have witnessed others break clubs. Let's not turn this into a discussion about what our kids would or would not get away with in public. Also, you did not witness what I did so it's not your place to say you would not blame my playing partner. I did not "blow up" as being insinuated. I walked off the tee box, said "damn" and hit the end of my club against a golf cart tire. If that is what you consider "blowing up" im not sure what to say. The purpose of my post was to ask others how they cool down after a bad shot after a bad hole etc. Yes I phrased it as "any advice for not blowing up..." but that does not mean that I consider anything I did "blowing up".

 

Not caring enough to get mad is a poor approach to golf, sports and life. ONCE AGAIN,  I  am not saying that this "getting mad" should result in blowing up on the course.

post #5 of 46

You started a thread called "Tantrums on Golf Course" and *I'm* the one being dramatic?

 

You said you "lost it and slammed the club against the tire of the golf cart". Obviously it was bad enough for you to be told off, you've started a thread about it, and now are trying to make excuses when you're told that doing something like that's not acceptable.

 

Don't be that guy. 

 

Oh, and advice? Realize it's just a game you paid money to play. Go enjoy it.

post #6 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Russtopher View Post
 

You started a thread called "Tantrums on Golf Course" and *I'm* the one being dramatic?

 

You said you "lost it and slammed the club against the tire of the golf cart". Obviously it was bad enough for you to be told off, you've started a thread about it, and now are trying to make excuses when you're told that doing something like that's not acceptable.

 

Don't be that guy. 

 

Oh, and advice? Realize it's just a game you paid money to play. Go enjoy it.

 

You have a point. I should not have titled it "Tantrums on Golf Course" as it does not apply to my specific example. It was a blanket statement...but created a misleading tone. 

post #7 of 46
Hahaha! To be honest, throwing tantrums about a shot that YOU hit is childish at best.

As for advice, @Russtopher put it best. you paid for it, go enjoy it. You should also realize that losing your cool does absolutely nothing for your game.
post #8 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3putter View Post

Hahaha! To be honest, throwing tantrums about a shot that YOU hit is childish at best.

As for advice, @russtopher put it best. you paid for it, go enjoy it. You should also realize that losing your cool does absolutely nothing for your game.

 

Congrats, you are an internet White Knight. 

post #9 of 46

I guess the OP needs to define "I lost it" and differentiate that from "blow up". They sound about the same to me and, I presume, many of the other posters.

 

Seems like if the incident was enough for a complete stranger to comment, it was too much.

 

I think you will find that your anger issues are holding your golf game back.

post #10 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmonious View Post
 

I guess the OP needs to define "I lost it" and differentiate that from "blow up". They sound about the same to me and, I presume, many of the other posters.

 

Seems like if the incident was enough for a complete stranger to comment, it was too much.

 

I think you will find that your anger issues are holding your golf game back.

I appreciate the reply without chastising...

 

"Lost it" - I am defining as ANY outward action that even gives the slightest hint that I was bothered. 

 

"Blow up" - NOT what I personally did in my example. I guess I would define blowup as slamming a club, cursing etc. 

 

In regards to the stranger commenting, It was honestly bizarre. His buddy who was also  playing with us even looked at him and said "dude chill out, what is wrong with you?" and then the guy just stopped his weird rampage. His going off on me was WAY more of a "blow up" than anything I did. The situation was strange and normally I would be very confrontational over someone approaching me like that but the last thing I want to do is get in a fight on the golf course on sunday afternoon, so I let it go.

 

Yes my anger does effect my game but this anger is rarely shown on the outside. I always try my hardest to keep it bottled up 100%, but in this specific instance I let it come out a little bit. I just find all the "holier than thou" replies to my post amusing. 

post #11 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfGuy123 View Post
 

"Lost it" - I am defining as ANY outward action that even gives the slightest hint that I was bothered.

 

Surely you would agree that your own personal definition of "lost it" is rather atypical.

 

Virtually nobody would equate "lost it" with "the slightest hint that you were bothered."

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfGuy123 View Post
 

Yes my anger does effect my game but this anger is rarely shown on the outside. I always try my hardest to keep it bottled up 100%, but in this specific instance I let it come out a little bit. I just find all the "holier than thou" replies to my post amusing. 

 

What did you expect given your title, your post, and so on?

 

This reads like a classic thread. They go like this:

  • User posts about something they did that prompted a reaction from another person.
  • People condemn (to varying degrees) the OP, since they're the one actually having the discussion and condemning the other person would be almost pointless.
  • OP backtracks and says what they did wasn't that bad and that everyone is over-reacting.

 

Now, I'm not saying you're doing all of those things to the same degrees, but I will say that the pattern I just described does tend to come up now and then.

post #12 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by iacas View Post
 

 

Surely you would agree that your own personal definition of "lost it" is rather atypical.

 

Virtually nobody would equate "lost it" with "the slightest hint that you were bothered."

 

Understand what you are saying - guess I just see it as "lost it" on the golf course has a much different definition than "lost it" off the golf course. I have seen a guy at my club get reamed out because he did not immediately fill a divot when in actuality he was just walking over to get move divot sand from the box to fill the divot! He did not deserve it, its not like he was driving away.

 

So yes, when it comes to golf I have a guarded view on these sort of things. It seems like at my club and a few others I have played over the years you really have to walk on egg shells.

 

A lot of the members (like my playing partner that day) have been members since the 70s. Most are pretty terrible players but they relish the opportunity to yell or scold someone. It's like they are more concerned with making sure their playing partners are fixing ball marks and filling divots than they are with playing the game. It can really ruin the fun in the game when you feel so uptight playing with certain members.

post #13 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfGuy123 View Post
 

I am extremely intense when I play sports and I have that extreme desire to win and absolutely hate to lose.

 

I have played sports my entire life and the intensity and aggression I had on the football field and basketball court does not just go away because I am playing golf. However I do try my absolute hardest to keep my cool no matter what is going on or how bad I am playing, but there is times where I just can not hold my frustration in.

 

The thing is, when you get angry / frustrated etc. when playing other sports like basketball and/or football you can take it out in the game by playing harder defense, sprinting down the court faster, driving to the lane harder, making a more aggressive block / tackle...there is outlets within the game to release that energy. In golf however, you have to just suck it up and let it simmer inside.

 

I think I have came a long way from when I first started playing to accepting bad shots, holes, rounds etc. but every now and then as I mentioned I just can not contain it. Ex. I am trying so hard to break 90 and was on pace to do so with 3 holes left to play the other day. Then on the 16th tee, I carded an 8 (on a par 4). The crazy part is as angry as I was in realizing that I just lost my chance to break 90, I actually held it all inside and just tried to walk it off before the next tee. While holding all this anger and frustration inside there was no way I was going to hit a good tee shot on the next hole and I didint, I chunked it and the ball went rolling about 20 yards. Then I lost it and slammed my club against the tire of the golf cart. I know it was stupid and I should not have but I felt like I had to do something....then my playing partner (who I do not know other than this round) told me off! I was in shock. I didnt yell back at him because in a way he was right...I should not have done that but at the same time, how did it bother his life or his round at all. I have played with people who threw MUCH bigger tantrums (breaking clubs etc) on the course than what I did. Although I feel like I was wrong for doing it. I also don't think it was nearly a big enough deal for my playing partner to yell and carry on at me over it. 

 

Please don't reply with "your not good enough to care so much to slam a club etc." - I hate those types of statements. Its how much I care that drives me to practice and play so hard. Anyways, any advice for not blowing up on the course and still being able to regroup and hit your next shot?

 

 

 

Maybe you should just go out by yourself for a while until you think you got it under control, and don't take it out on the course or the equipment(carts,markers,etc.) if you have to break something snap the club that way it's your property. Breaking 90 is a very long ways from how good you probably want to become and it will happen fairly easy with not much more work, so it's not worth getting pissed over.

post #14 of 46
Country clubs are much more strict on behavior as compared to a muni. or public course. He's probably one of the people who needs to say something, given his 40 year tenure at the club.
post #15 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lihu View Post

Country clubs are much more strict on behavior as compared to a muni. or public course. He's probably one of the people who needs to say something, given his 40 year tenure at the club.
I agree with this. People who are long standing members tend to take ownership of the course they belong to, so I fully expect them to remind others of proper behavior and etiquette.
post #16 of 46
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by billchao View Post


I agree with this. People who are long standing members tend to take ownership of the course they belong to, so I fully expect them to remind others of proper behavior and etiquette.

 

I get it and I know all this. But remind others of etiquette and proper behavior after OR IF they have clearly done something wrong! Yelling at someone about not filling a divot before they have even stepped into their cart is just senseless. Yelling at someone to stay on the cart path when they never left the cart path is senseless and is just flexing your 70 year old member muscle for the sake of doing so.

 

Sure (for ex.) if someone does not fix a ball mark before they line up their putt, then call them on it. Hell, I do that regardless of where I am playing or who I am playing with. But don't be an etiquette Nazi for no good reason.

 

How much would you enjoy a round of golf if every hole someone is "reminding" you of proper etiquette (and I dont mean in a polite way)? Unless you have experienced this (and maybe you have I dont know), it might be hard to understand how sour it makes the day and tarnishes your love for the game. 

post #17 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfGuy123 View Post

How much would you enjoy a round of golf if every hole someone is "reminding" you of proper etiquette (and I dont mean in a polite way)? Unless you have experienced this (and maybe you have I dont know), it might be hard to understand how sour it makes the day and tarnishes your love for the game. 

I've been a member of 4 different country clubs. They all have had those same 70 yr old members that liked to be "etiquette Nazis", as you say. I can't remember a single time when I played with those folks that they ever had a problem with my etiquette...

You are implying that it happens to you all the time. If that's the case, I promise it's YOU, not them that needs to reevaluate your behavior...
post #18 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by GolfGuy123 View Post
 

 

I get it and I know all this. But remind others of etiquette and proper behavior after OR IF they have clearly done something wrong! Yelling at someone about not filling a divot before they have even stepped into their cart is just senseless. Yelling at someone to stay on the cart path when they never left the cart path is senseless and is just flexing your 70 year old member muscle for the sake of doing so.

 

Sure (for ex.) if someone does not fix a ball mark before they line up their putt, then call them on it. Hell, I do that regardless of where I am playing or who I am playing with. But don't be an etiquette Nazi for no good reason.

 

How much would you enjoy a round of golf if every hole someone is "reminding" you of proper etiquette (and I dont mean in a polite way)? Unless you have experienced this (and maybe you have I dont know), it might be hard to understand how sour it makes the day and tarnishes your love for the game. 


If it's that bad I simply wouldn't play there. I don't slam clubs or do anything to damage a golf course or equipment. The most expression I ever show is a quiet "crap" after a bad shot.

 

I also will not be yelled at, by anybody.

 

I'm just glad I play at courses where people aren't wound that tight.

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