I agree 100%, it's a choice if I want to tip or not, and when I don't, I don't allow people on message boards to tell me I should, (and I don't fell bad about not tipping either) after all she's only doing what she is getting paid for right?
--Wrong, most likely she is getting paid less than minimum wage...probably around $3.25 per hour for her work. Her tips are the only actual pay she receives....because she pays taxes on her tips, and it gets taken out of her hourly wage, so at the end of the week, her actual paycheck from work shows that she earned $0.00. Her tips are her only pay.
and to boot some young boy who also works for the course is placing the waters and beers in her cart and not herself....so even more reason for me not to tip her.
--Well, you may or may not be correct about someone else stocking her cart. But if someone else does stock her cart for her, they are getting paid at least minimum wage to do so, which is more than twice what she is making. Oh yeah, most likely, she has to share her tips with the person stocking her cart.
Add to that I don't drink and I always bring my own water bottles, so I'm never in this situation anyways.....
My answers to you specifically are bolded inside your quote.
I know the custom of tipping always causes ripples in any online community. I have heard this same discussion many times before. But having spent my last 15 years in and around the service industry, I think its crazy to not take care of the servers. I always tip. I over tip. A 30-50% tip from me is not uncommon. I have servers and bartenders and beer tub girls who help make my business successful, and I know how little they make if they aren't getting tipped. If you are going to bring your own bottle of water to the course, fine by me. Not a problem at all. There are many times when I just flag the cart girl on by, because we don't need anything. And that's fine. But I would never order drinks, food, beers, snacks, etc, and then not tip the girl. Its her only actual income from the job. And she is doing me a service.