Idiotic Mistakes on the Golf Course

For those of you who might wonder if you're the only one that ever does anything stupid on the golf course, I think we need a thread dedicated to the dumb things we do, usually without any thought, while on the course.  As they say, confession can be good for the soul......and it can be damn funny sometimes too!

Yesterday I was playing in a 4-ball match with 3 buddies.  Simple $5 Nassau.  No one's going to get hurt, but we're all HUGELY competitive and would rather win a couple of dollars from any of the others than find a $100 bill on the street.

6th hole and our opponents are in with par.  I have about 12 feet for my par to halve the hole.  I look down at my ball marker, then look at the ball in my hand, then back at the marker, suddenly realizing that it's 10 INCHES OFF THE GREEN!   I look over at my buddy/partner, and he just looks at me with a blank stare, not sure what the problem is.  I look pointedly at the ball in my hand, again at the marker, and then back at him.  All of a sudden the light goes on and he starts laughing uncontrollably and called me a couple of names best not mentioned on a family oriented forum like this.  Our opponents still hadn't figured it out and my partner had to explain why I just picked up the mark and stomped off to our cart!

Next......

First thing that come to my mind that I was temporary idiot was looking at a easy 9i shot. I grab my club, take a nice easy swing, great ball contact, and then watch the ball travel directly on line, and over the flag, an extra 40 yards past the flag. I had grabbed a 6i instead. I have probably made this mistake 3 times in the past 40 years.

Yeah... that's a killer.  I've done the opposite, grabbed the 9I, made a perfect swing, then watched my ball splash down in the pond 40 yards short of the green.

Call this one a pure brain fart or something.  Playing one of my brother's home courses in Idaho.  Par 5 - hit a great drive, pull out the 3W to go for the green.  My brother and his friend both say that it plays farther than it measures because it's slightly uphill (althought it doesn't appear to be), and there is a canal that crosses right in front of the green.  They both say that this is always a layup unless you are within 200 yards.  I say "I can make it", I make a great swing, hit a perfect shot, and it lands dead in the middle of the canal.  It messed with my head to the point that I ended up with a triple and blew what had started to be a pretty decent round.

At least I paid attention to them for the rest of the round.

Played some golf in Portugal a couple years ago. Made it to the fourth hole and was doing well. Hit my tee shot to the right side of the fairway and had a good angle for my approach. Picked my 7 iron and hit a good shot, leaving me with a 10 footer or so for birdie. As I was approaching the green, I noticed the people I played with were veering off to the left. I figured they were looking for a lost ball or something. Then one of them hit a shot towards another green, and it started to dawn on me.

I'd hit my ball to the wrong green.

Dropped off the other green, had to hit a wedge over a marsh area. Chunked it, dropped a new ball, flew past the green... etc... The final score was not a pretty sight.

I have shot a hillside behind a green with the laser thinking I hit the flag and wind up air mailing the green by 20 yards

Good grief, what a bunch of idiots.

Love the stories.

My one and only tournament, I teed off on 18 from a set of tees that seemed crazy. I had the honors from a rare good hole on the 17th. After I teed left OB with a wicked hook, a fellow competitor told me I had teed incorrectly, showing me where the markers were.

As it turns out, the tee area adjoined the tee area from a front-nine hole (that was pointing roughly parallel), and I had put my ball in the middle of the two sets of tees.  So it looked like:

Hole 5 left marker..... Hole 5 right marker..... MY BALL......Hole 18 left marker..... Hole 18 right marker.

Duh.  I had to re-tee anyway to play my 3rd, but geez. Embarrassing. I was so close to making it through my only tourney without a major gaffe.

Yeah, I have done that too. There is hole at Furnace Creek GC that while standing on the tee box you see a green some 250 yards a way. There is also a manicured fairway most of the way there.  So, you take aim and fire for the green, only to find out the real green is a sharp dogleg right.

Had a foursome of older gentlemen let me play through after they had already teed off one day. I promptly hooked my drive into a tree not seeing exactly where it came down. All I can think about when someone lets me play through is to not hold them up. So I haul-a$$ to the spot, hurry up and find my ball in the rough, go to punch it out onto the fairway only to hit a low limb. I feel my blood pressure rising as I punch it out a second time knowing these guys are watching the whole time. Finally hit my approach shot - into a green side bunker. I get out of the bunker, 2-putt it and finally get the heck out of their way, knowing they're thinking "that guy really sucks".

No big deal, I'll never seem them again. So I get to the next hole, look at my ball and discover it's not mine. I know it's bad but I'm wondering how bad when I see one of the guys driving the cart towards me. He very politely asks  if I happen to hit the wrong ball back there and I sheepishly admit I did as I hand him the ball.

He was very cool about it but I can tell this is a big deal. I mean, it's one thing to lack skill, quite another to lack the common sense necessary to identify what ball you're playing and in the process, completely f-up someone else's round of golf.  Not a favorable memory.

I've always found this weird. How can you not tell whether it's a i6 or i9 in your hand? O_o

This happened to me a lot on the local 18 hole par 3 courses. I putt off the green then hit from the fringe or the rough. Saved a few strokes that way.

On topic, I've done many idiotic, but arguably fun shots on the course.

When I hit a shot poorly enough that I can feel it at impact, I have a tendency to let go of the club with my right hand and do a one armed follow through as a way of showing my displeasure. If the contact is bad enough, I sometimes let go with my both hands after the swing is complete. Most of the time, the club falls harmlessly behind me (and I guess I've justified the bad habit by telling myself it's better than throwing the club). However, one time I apparently "let go" of my follow through too early. The club flew up and behind me, almost tomahawking the other members of my group who were standing behind me on the tee box. I felt like a complete idiot and rightly was the butt of most of the jokes for the rest of the round.

Never had an even par round for 18 holes. Came to #16, a par 5, one over par, and put my second shot on the green. Here's where I got ahead of myself. I figured it was an easy two putt and I would be one under par if I could make an eagle.

By now everyone figured out what I did. Went for the eagle and three-putted the hole. I parred 17, and tried too hard on 18 to make birdie, and bogied that hole, too.

Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h. What an idiot.

As a matter of fact, taking relief (no penalty) is mandatory.