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Anger Management on a golf course - What is your key?


Yukari
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So reading a thread about temper tantrum got me thinking, instead of complaining about people throwing temper tantrums, how about providing some solution to the problem?

Relatively recently, I've taken up cigar smoking when I play golf (notice not "golfing" :whistle: ).  When I have a bad shot, I don't let that shot get to me, I just take a puff on the cigar. Somedays, I end up smoking a lot more than others.  LOL.

What do you do after a bad shot to NOT get angry?

Don

:titleist: 910 D2, 8.5˚, Adila RIP 60 S-Flex
:titleist: 980F 15˚
:yonex: EZone Blades (3-PW) Dynamic Gold S-200
:vokey:   Vokey wedges, 52˚; 56˚; and 60˚
:scotty_cameron:  2014 Scotty Cameron Select Newport 2

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I simply tell myself I'm not that good to get angry over one bad shot.  I'm not a 6.7 handicap so maybe that won't work as well if/when I get there.

Joe Paradiso

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I don't really do anything.  I play golf to have fun (I mean really, don't we all?), and there's nothing fun or pleasant about getting angry.  If it gets that bad, I'll leave after 9 rather than inflict my sour mood on the guys I'm playing with.  I haven't left before the end of my planned round for many years.

Golf is a frustrating game, so I find that I have to be honest with myself and admit that there are times when I'm going to feel frustrated.  By knowing that the frustration will be there, I can deal with it in a rational manner and laugh off the stupid things I do and the quirky bounces that the game loves to inflict on its aficionados.

Rick

"He who has the fastest cart will never have a bad lie."

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Usually say "Oh no, or Ought Oh" then take a deep breadth.

When things really go south, I'll just stay out of the way of others and be glad when the round is over.

I'll usually play a 19th hole on those days.

Club Rat

Johnny Rocket - Let's Rock and Roll and play some golf !!!

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I am there for fun ... fortunately the group I golf with, we rib each other, so a bad shot is part of our comedy routine if you will ... The good news is, I have come to understand why a shot was bad and what I did (or did not do) to cause the errant shot ... that has helped focus me on the next shot and not dwell on the bad one

Ken Proud member of the iSuk Golf Association ... Sponsored by roofing companies across the US, Canada, and the UK

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I simply tell myself I'm not that good to get angry over one bad shot.  I'm not a 6.7 handicap so maybe that won't work as well if/when I get there.

Exactly what I tell myself....I'm not good enough to get mad! :beer: After a double, I also remind myself that I'm likely to get a bunch of bogies in any given round, and a double is nothing more than 2 of them.

In David's bag....

Driver: Titleist 910 D-3;  9.5* Diamana Kai'li
3-Wood: Titleist 910F;  15* Diamana Kai'li
Hybrids: Titleist 910H 19* and 21* Diamana Kai'li
Irons: Titleist 695cb 5-Pw

Wedges: Scratch 51-11 TNC grind, Vokey SM-5's;  56-14 F grind and 60-11 K grind
Putter: Scotty Cameron Kombi S
Ball: ProV1

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Exactly what I tell myself....I'm not good enough to get mad!

After a double, I also remind myself that I'm likely to get a bunch of bogies in any given round, and a double is nothing more than 2 of them.

:beer: Thanks, it's good to know it still works at a 6 handicap.  I love the game and being out on the course too much to get mad when even the best in the world make a bad shot every once in a while.

Joe Paradiso

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Hits drive. "No. No! No! No! # @!!"

Julia

:callaway:  :cobra:    :seemore:  :bushnell:  :clicgear:  :adidas:  :footjoy:

Spoiler

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha w/ Fubuki Z50 R 44.5"
FW: Cobra BiO CELL 14.5 degree; 
Hybrids: Cobra BiO CELL 22.5 degree Project X R-flex
Irons: Cobra BiO CELL 5 - GW Project X R-Flex
Wedges: Cobra BiO CELL SW, Fly-Z LW, 64* Callaway PM Grind.
Putter: 48" Odyssey Dart

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  • Administrator

It's a game. Why anyone gets mad is beyond me…

Erik J. Barzeski —  I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
Director of Instruction Golf Evolution • Owner, The Sand Trap .com • AuthorLowest Score Wins
Golf Digest "Best Young Teachers in America" 2016-17 & "Best in State" 2017-20 • WNY Section PGA Teacher of the Year 2019 :edel: :true_linkswear:

Check Out: New Topics | TST Blog | Golf Terms | Instructional Content | Analyzr | LSW | Instructional Droplets

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Easy for you to say. Some people are wired differently than others. Golf is a game. Executing the golf swing is a skill. It takes time to become proficient with the skill. It is no different than learning how to play a musical instrument. And even though one may be fairly proficient at it, there are times when one is learning to play a piece of music where it gets quite frustrating and these times can lead to emotional blow ups during practice. In a concert you have to keep going, and you can swear backstage. It happens.

On the golf course one can get frustrated, too. If it happens too often it's time for a lesson and more practice. If you're playing alone and having a rotten round, just make it a practice round and try stuff you'd never dream of trying and put the scorecard away.

Julia

:callaway:  :cobra:    :seemore:  :bushnell:  :clicgear:  :adidas:  :footjoy:

Spoiler

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha w/ Fubuki Z50 R 44.5"
FW: Cobra BiO CELL 14.5 degree; 
Hybrids: Cobra BiO CELL 22.5 degree Project X R-flex
Irons: Cobra BiO CELL 5 - GW Project X R-Flex
Wedges: Cobra BiO CELL SW, Fly-Z LW, 64* Callaway PM Grind.
Putter: 48" Odyssey Dart

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Easy for you to say.

No, easy for me to DO, too.

It's a game.

Heck, it's my profession too, and I still find it easy to both SAY and DO.

I have no problem with frustration. It can be a good thing. But frustration doesn't have to lead to anger.

Erik J. Barzeski —  I knock a ball. It goes in a gopher hole. 🏌🏼‍♂️
Director of Instruction Golf Evolution • Owner, The Sand Trap .com • AuthorLowest Score Wins
Golf Digest "Best Young Teachers in America" 2016-17 & "Best in State" 2017-20 • WNY Section PGA Teacher of the Year 2019 :edel: :true_linkswear:

Check Out: New Topics | TST Blog | Golf Terms | Instructional Content | Analyzr | LSW | Instructional Droplets

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Some of us get mad when:

Our shoes come untied

We burn our breakfast toast

Our favorite hockey team gives up a goal

The city doesn't plow the roads quick enough

Someone takes the last cup of coffee and doesn't make more

The local store stops carrying our favorite beer

Getting mad at golf is just another in a very long list of things to get mad about.  Some of us get mad at every single last one of them.

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Everyone hits bad shots. Some less than others. I learned not to lose my temper while in the military. In a few instances, if I would had lost my composure, I would have been dead shortly afterwards afterwards. Folks who lose their temper while playing any game, take their focus away from the playing that game. Playing the game of golf is no different. You get mad, you play bad, and your score suffers. I have seen a lot of golfers, get mad, and start hitting bad shots. Then, they blame the reason they lost their swing focus on what ever it was that made them mad in the first place.  To me that's just a form of denial, and/or making a fake excuse for playing poorly.

There is a video floating around where a pro golfer hit's a bad shot. He then slams his club into the ground which snaps the shaft. The club head, after breaking off, bounces up, and almost collides with his beans. I actually saw a guy do the same thing. He was less fortunate, as the flying piece of the shaft stuck in his calf.

There have been times on the golf course when I was playing very poorly. Nothing was working. At first, I would just quit, and go home regardless of what ever hole I was on. I figured it was better to leave, and  return another day with a better game. I always knew my poor play was my own problem.  Now days, I just grab my 7W and keep playing the remaining holes from tee to green with it. Fortunately I am pretty consistent these days so it's not much of a problem. The up side when I do just use my 7W, is that I am out of doors, getting some exercise, while consuming a cold beverage.

In My Bag:
A whole bunch of Tour Edge golf stuff...... :beer:

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I used to get quite mad, but there wasn't a pattern to why and when. After a long time I realized that it was other things in my life that were causing it because it ultimately is a game. Despite I feel it means more to me than that, but the experience and enjoyment does go beyond being a game. For me, it was the people that I was around that would cause me a lot of anxiety. I can't recall how many times I played golf with nice people, played like crap and it didn't bother me at all. But a few bad shots in an otherwise good day (and at my usual level that's to be expected) with annoying people or people who give me grief and I'd just get pissed. I started playing golf soon afte my parents split up at 13 and it was a horrible experience. My mother is particularly abusive to people and to me especially. She's just a mean person quite frankly. Anyway, I remember the initial enjoyment of playing and then she took it up to spend time with me, which was horrible. I enjoyed it because she wasn't there. And that's when I started getting mad. After that, at times where I feel pushed around in life or under a lot of stress , it would come out as anger. Until I realized what was setting me off. After that, it got a lot better and I can enjoy playing with almost anyone now. No one is a bad or angry person from birth. That happened to be something that became a long time trigger for me. I'm sure there are other triggers for other people and how they feel about themselves. What I try to remember is that feeling angry or sad isn't for long and even if I'm having a crappy time with someone, tomorrow is another round.

—Adam

 

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Agreed. We have to learn to let it go, and move onto the next shot.

One thing I learned the hard way was that most of the problem was the tee shot. When things were going bad, leave the driver in the bag. But the thing that was maddening was that the club always would come back for me. I started hitting my 5W or 3H from the tee - hit it straight 190 - 210. Then I'd get tempted. I feel the need to get that confidence back with my driver, and I'd take it out and hit that 220 down the middle and par the hole. Yes! The jinx was gone right? Next hole slice it off into the woods. # @!! Frustration. With me though it's usually one expletive and it's gone. Gotta watch that in tournaments.

This year I have a 3W. I can pull the 5W out of the bag. And when the driver misbehaves, the 3W will put me out about 220 - 230 in playable position hopefully. Maybe I won't play with the driver? Nah.

Julia

:callaway:  :cobra:    :seemore:  :bushnell:  :clicgear:  :adidas:  :footjoy:

Spoiler

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha w/ Fubuki Z50 R 44.5"
FW: Cobra BiO CELL 14.5 degree; 
Hybrids: Cobra BiO CELL 22.5 degree Project X R-flex
Irons: Cobra BiO CELL 5 - GW Project X R-Flex
Wedges: Cobra BiO CELL SW, Fly-Z LW, 64* Callaway PM Grind.
Putter: 48" Odyssey Dart

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I have no problem with frustration. It can be a good thing. But frustration doesn't have to lead to anger.

Pretty much this. Its just a mind set.

When expectations do not meet outcome. This becomes a big deal for a lot of people. I think most people have too high expectations for their golf games. Yet the thing we can control is our response to that outcome.

Matt Dougherty, P.E.
 fasdfa dfdsaf 

What's in My Bag
Driver; :pxg: 0311 Gen 5,  3-Wood: 
:titleist: 917h3 ,  Hybrid:  :titleist: 915 2-Hybrid,  Irons: Sub 70 TAIII Fordged
Wedges: :edel: (52, 56, 60),  Putter: :edel:,  Ball: :snell: MTB,  Shoe: :true_linkswear:,  Rangfinder: :leupold:
Bag: :ping:

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In my case, I've learned that getting mad, gets me both tense, and I lose focus somewhat, 2 things that aren't good for playing good golf. Nowadays, when I make a big mistake, i.e. bad shot, I just chuckle about it, after all, getting mad won't change the bad shot you just hit.. :-D

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Note: This thread is 3316 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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