When to scream, when to yell and what to curse!

Played a tough league match yesterday. We played straight up (no strokes given) in match play. During the match we tied every hole. If he hit a bad shot, I followed. When I hit a bad shot I had to scramble to tie the hole.

The match came down to the last hole, tied. He drives his ball to the fairway, I hit an EPIC slice into the woods.

I once again scramble to get a 6 on the hole (par 4), he 3 putts for a 5.

That one simple mistake, but is should be noted that I had lost my driver on the 5th hole and just could not right the ship the rest of the way, but even with not hitting 260 straight to the fairway, I was scrambling to make bogie.

Anyway, having made that huge blunder that cost me the match I was fuming, Actually I was ticked off at slicing my ball into the woods, I wanted to scream and curse and yell, but I know better. I went back to the bar and I was still ticked at myself, I just wanted to scream and let the frustration out. Even this morning I still wanted to jump up and down and yell about that one lousy shot.

for the record I have made it a point not to swear or get angry or pissed off on the course. I have younglings at home and I try to set an example and that means I have to let it carry over to the course.

I never saw the point at blurting out and screaming an Obscenity, I find if anything it make the rest of the 4 some uncomfortable. as an example, I do have a guy in my league who shoot a 50 per 9, he makes no effort to get better. He also gets ticked off after every bad shot (usually 3 per hole) and screams "you f&*%ing, smelly see you next tuesday). I dont throw clubs and act like a kid on a tantrum.

But on the counter side of that I come off as apathetic and in reality I am filled with rage and defeat on the inside.

So what do you do after hitting a bad, bad shot which determines your round. I know that keeping it in can effect your next shot, but letting it out can turn you into "that guy" and I dont want to be him.

I will probably let time heal the wound, let time wash it out of my memory,  practice and come back with a vengence next week. I will play a new opponent and do my best to play mistake free golf, but none of this will change if I have a mistake that costs me again.

It is a viscous circle!

What say you?

I am just going to say that holding anger in like that can actually cause physical ill effects. You should find an outlet for when you get angry like that. I agree it's best to no throw fits and/or constantly curse when playing though, and it's something I've gradually gotten better at over the years. Though, admittedly, I still slip up sometimes.

Awareness and acceptance, while keeping your inner competitive drive.

I struggle badly with my temper all the time, not just on the golf course. As I've gone on in golf, it's slowly gotten better just because I recognize it to be a problem and actively try to find ways to deal with it.

A few things that have worked for me include: 1) Cursing, but softly. Holding it in makes it louder when it comes out. 2) Walking, stretching and looking at the sky. If it's a nice day, I can occasionally blank my mind just staring at the clouds. 3) Dropping the club. If I fear throwing a club, dropping it gets it out of my hands before I have a chance to do it.

Bottling it up is a bad idea. It's never worked real well for me. A slow even release of frustration in an appropriate way is best. It's still a work in progress, but I'm so much better now than I was two or three years ago.

Give yourself a time limit on getting your anger out, and find a way to do it appropriately. I give myself half the time it takes to get to my ball, and I just yell at myself. I will occasionally swear at myself, but that happens rarely. You have to be able to let it out, but quickly and appropriately. And then focus on the next shot or hole. Still being angry at yourself is a great way to follow up a bad shot with another bad shot or a bad hole with another bad hole.

@Elmer me of GOLF, one must have "Short Term Memory Loss"

Best thing is to forget about it and not let it affect the rest of the round.

Sure many guys blurt out with frustration, but the guys who leave it rest after it is done and over with, are able to get back on track and play golf.

Frustration often leads to many little things which a player would not normally do which causes the wheels to fall off in a round.

Club Rat

I am similar to you in handicap. It is frustrating to be "almost there" all the time. I can hit some very good shots, sometimes in succession, then hit some ugly ones. Work to minimize the effect of the ugly ones, both in practice and mentally and emotionally.  Realize that at our handicap, perfection does not exist, and plan for it. Keep a positive image and attitude on every shot, but when the ugly rears its head, don't let it diminish your peace. Golf is a difficult game, but I like it better than any other. As far as hobbies, (of which I have too many), I would rather be playing golf than anything else. If you are like this, remember this as you are on the course. In most cases, losing your temper does make the others in your group uncomfortable. They feel for you and know how it feels.

At the same time, letting the pressure build up inside is not good. Self deprecating humor sometimes works for me, but don't over do it. The other day I hit a rather poor drive and I said, "That hurt.....my feelings. Without trying, I got the pause just right and everyone laughed. I released my angst, and pounded the next drive. Create your own cuss word psuedonym. Instead of calling the ball the f&*%ing piece of s$# @ that it is, ju st more quietly say horse feathers or something.

Read "Golf in the Kingdom". It is fiction of course, but the best advice is "Wait 'em oot"--wait them out. Keep playing and the good shots will return and the bad feelings will leave.

Don't get me wrong, I am very competitive. I try my best on every shot. I work on things to get better. My life is not dependent on my golf score however. I play golf because I want to, because it challenges me mentally and physically. I want to be there, and I am privileged and glad to be there. I will not let a bad shot take that enjoyment away.

I'm actually 'scary calm' on a golf course.  I don't know why, but getting angry about something that I'm paying so much money to do, even when I'm playing poorly (which is almost always) just seems to be wasteful to me.

I hit bad shots more often than I hit good shots, and I bask in the glory of the good shots and choose to not let the bad shots get to me.

Last week, for example, I played in a tournament where I could NOT keep the ball in the fairway off the tee.  I'd hit a big hook, and somehow, my ball was almost always found and in play.  It was just a lucky day.  Because it was a shotgun start, I didn't start on the 1st hole... but, the front nine was almost ridiculous.

Tee shots were all hooks that found the woods or left rough, but I was able to scramble.  I birdied the 1st with a pitch in from 65 yards out.  I bogeyed the 2nd after a three-putt from 'forever' away.  I doubled the 3rd after having to punch out sideways from the woods.  I went par - bogey - par - birdie on the next 4 holes.  I made a bogey on the 8th after a huge hook off the tee and another from the woods on the left on my approach.  I stood on the 9th tee with a shot to shoot 39, having had to scramble almost the entire front side.  I ended up making a triple after blowing a ball OB on that hole, but... still.

Getting mad at all those hooks wasn't going to help me.  I stayed calm and played what I had put myself into.

When I DO get frustrated, in general, I actually go to play golf because it helps to calm me down and puts me in a good spot.  I realize that I'm lucky to be out there... physically healthy enough to swing a club and financially healthy enough to be able to afford to play.

CY

I have let frustration get the better of me from time to time.  It never helps my game and can just escalate into an ugly spiral.

There was a post about Arnie's 10 rules of etiquette... http://thesandtrap.com/t/82122/arnold-palmer-10-rules-for-good-golf-etiquette

One of them was this:

I try to take that to heart and have made one of my goals on the golf course to generally be an enjoyable person for others to play with and specifically to not lose my temper.