Gimmie... What would you do?

My playing partner and I always have a good time ribbing each other about our upcoming game and after one of us wins or loses.. We don't gamble, so no money involved, but trash talking is a staple of our golfing partnership.. We have set the ground rules a long time ago, ie we play by the rules of golf period. At least to our best of our abilities.. There are a couple of exceptions, however we deal with them the same way so it's no issue.. Mainly, if you got two OB in a row you take a drop from the closest point and a 2 stroke penalty ect.. Anyway, we were playing today and on one of the holes he was putting, and he missed a relatively short putt and instead of going and tapping in the 1 footer or so he sort of frustratingly hits it towards the hole and it bounces out and right away in frustration he picks it up before it even stops.. Now one of our rules is that gimmies are only allowed when conceded by the other person, and we actually don't give them to either other.. So, right away I ask him what he is doing, and he doesn't answer, but gives himself a bogie on the hole and I object telling him I never gave him that gimmie and that he should assess him self a 2 stroke penalty for picking up the ball, and since he missed that bogie one footer he should score himself a triple.. He says that he obviously wasn't taking a real stroke and that was gimmie distance anyway.. Well, let's just say the whole thing didn't end well between us as I explained to him, that I will not compete with him if we are not going to be following the rules the same way.. We c an at together, but I'm not going to take his scores seriously and compare them to mine as long as he does this sort of thing.. He scored a 101 to my 102 and it would actually be me winning 102 to his 103 if we played that hole correctly.. Or what I perceive to be correct.. Maybe some of you will want other questions answered, but initially... Am I over reacting? Or am I right in what I believe should be the case? I told him gimmies are a slippery slope and who will determine what's a gimmie and what's not? I can start taking 2 footers as gimmies right? Anyway, what are your thoughts and have you ran into this sort of thing with anyone?

It's impossible for anyone else to know what kind of relationship you and your friend share, but I wouldn't have gotten mad. A good friendship is more important than golf rules IMO.

I would have used that the next time he started talking smack, however. You know, something like "Yeah I could break 90 too if I didn't count all my strokes".

Stroke play? Gimmes are against the rules of golf period.

Maybe you are right.. Our friendship is fine, we are neighbors and work together.. And I have no problem playing with him, except I'm going to ask him to keep his own score and I keep mine

In match play they are not.. I can concede a hole at any point in time from what I understand,.

Correct but you are counting strokes. Just play match play if you guys want to pick up or give putts. Problem solved.

Yeah, agreed.. And that's why we never give each other putts.. The only time is when someone who hits a putt back or something and in that case no issue as that will happen when you play with strangers sometimes..

If you're not playing for money, it doesn't matter so yes, I'd say you over reacted. I play with guys all the time who cheat, doesn't bother me in the least if no $ is on the line. They're just cheating themselves is the way I look at it.

I think maybe you are, but as I said, I don't know the history. He did what he did out of frustration, right? And he doesn't normally cheat, correct?

You are right, it could be a slippery slope for him. But it comes down to how much you enjoy his company. In any event, it shouldn't impact how you play your game.

@Gunther just beat me to it.

Its a frikkin 1 footer you said.Thats pretty much automatic.Would not have said a word because he was frustrated.Last thing I wanna do is get involved when someone is aggravated.Its just a friendly game not a tournament.Would hope theyre wouldnt be any ribbing each other with scores of 101-102.

Do you still have the card? See who won match play giving yourself the win on the hole he picked up. If you won that way then suggest next time you play to decide BEFORE you play which way you guys want to play. You can't give him a penalty on that hole like you want. You are giving a penalty on something that isn't allowed in stroke play. You both should be disqualified.

Yes, you are overreacting.  I don't hold anybody accountable for anything, (except for hitting into people) on a golf course UNLESS they're trying to take money from me.  As long as no money (as you stated) is being wagered, won-lost and paid, let the guy do what he wants.  You REALLY know what happened.  But you don't have to bring it up to him over and over.

It's stuff like a fun round of golf that can strain an otherwise wonderful friendship. Let his 101 stand and get him next time.

dave

Some great responses, and I appreciate the feedback.. One thing to note is that we don't gamble, ever.. So, our ribbing of each other is all we have.. We like to be competitive and have our game mean something, and that's why we have a running competition and that's why it matters.. Maybe we (I) shouldn't take it so seriously, but it's fun and it makes for a meaningful round where every stroke counts for something at the end.. I disagree that people who score 101 or 102 can't rib each other.. If only people who shot scratch ribbed each other where would the fun be in that? Besides, we are both like 30 handicappers.. So, a 101 is a couple strokes under par net net.. The other point about it only being a 1 footer.. Well, that's the crux right there.. So, what about a 2 footer? Wait, what about a 1.5? What about if I just think it's a 1 footer, and it is really a 2? That's the slippery slop.. Aside for the fact that it is against stroke play rules to begin with.. Anyway, I am going to apologize to him, and just wipe the slate clean if there any hard feelings.. But going forward.... I guess I am being too petty.. I'll just let it go.. Thanks all.

What's more important to you: the rules of golf in a non gambling game or a friend? It's really not a hard question to answer IMO.

No it's not.. But, I'm not saying that I'm going to be losing a friend here.. And we don't gamble at all ever, so does that mean that our games don't mean anything? Let us assume that were gambling for something, there is something to be won and lost here even if it is not material.. I'm assuming even when you guys gamble most of you aren't gambling for 000's of $$ right? What would you guys do?

Well if there is no money on the line and this is an exception behavior I'd just let it slide if you enjoy the fellow's company.  Ego isn't all that important and things always change so you'll have your fair share of winning days.

Very good point! He used to do this way before, and we had agreed that this is not acceptable back then.. But it's been a long time since he has done it, so you are right! It was just the competitiveness in me that didn't let me stay quiet about it I guess.. I probably should have let it go.. Thank you.