As you know, I've been a reasonably good boy this year. We've been engaged in this same routine for 23 years now, so I think you are also aware what an avid fan of the game of golf I am. I want you to know, also, that I'm not holding it against you that I didn't find that $2,300 replica of Tiger's putter under my tree last year. The same goes for the trip to Sawgrass which has been a fixture on my list for the last several years. Surely these are difficult gifts to obtain, even for you, Mr. Claus.
I'm aware, as Burton Hillis said, "the best of all gifts around any Christmas tree is the presence of a happy family." I'm really trying to be content with the simple pleasures and joys of the season (eggnog, cookies, tinsel, throwing wads of wrapping paper at the cat), but there are still a few outstanding items on my list I'm hoping to find beneath my tree in a few weeks.