{"id":2142,"date":"2007-08-03T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2007-08-03T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thesandtrap.com\/columns\/trap_five\/not_the_top_stories_from_the_womens_british_open"},"modified":"2007-08-03T07:00:01","modified_gmt":"2007-08-03T11:00:01","slug":"not_the_top_stories_from_the_womens_british_open","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thesandtrap.com\/b\/trap_five\/not_the_top_stories_from_the_womens_british_open","title":{"rendered":"Not the Top Stories from the Women’s British Open"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TrapStarting yesterday, the women of the LPGA are playing the Ricoh Women’s British Open at The Old Course in St. Andrews for the very first time. The R&A is even going to let them in the clubhouse (gasp!). It’s going to be an interesting week.<\/p>\n

The course will play to a par of 73. The seventeenth, the famous “Road Hole,” will play as a par five instead of its usual par four. Ben Crenshaw was once asked why the Road Hole is the toughest par four in the world. “Because it’s a par five,” he said. A 453-yard par five should be reachable, but it has one of the more unusual green complexes in the world.<\/p>\n

But the course par and a quirky three-shotter are probably not going to be the only unusual things we’ll see this weekend. That started me thinking about some unusual headlines that we might see (but probably won’t). Read on for my top five list of “not” top stories from the Women’s British Open.
\n
\nNumber Five: Scottish Military Mobilizes to Repel Invasion<\/strong>
\nAt least 25 South Koreans were spotted in the Saint Andrews area Thursday, prompting an unprecedented response from the Scottish Military.<\/p>\n

“We’ve never seen such a thing,” said a local shopkeeper. “They’re just lasses, but there are so many of them and mostly all named \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00cb\u0153Kim,’ too.”<\/p>\n

The military initially set up checkpoints and roadblocks to try contain the invaders. But it was soon determined that they are only in Scotland for a golf tournament.<\/p>\n

Number Four: Lorena Ochoa Finds Home-Cooking… in Scotland<\/strong>
\nLorena Ochoa is loving Scotland – the history, the scenery, the cuisine… That’s right, the cuisine. When you think of Scottish food, you probably think of haggis, lamb, and possibly thistle. But, surprisingly, Mexican food is not difficult to find in the birthplace of golf. (This is actually true!)<\/p>\n

While Ochoa probably doesn’t crave Mexican food for every meal, if she does have a hankering she should have no problem finding familiar eats in and around St. Andrews. At Rancho Pancho<\/a> in Dundee or La Posada located right in St. Andrews, or even up the road at the Kettlebridge Inn<\/a>, which despite the name has a good-looking Mexican menu. Judging by the name of the place, she might want to avoid Itza Mexicana in Kirkcaldy – where they seem to have confused a Mexican accent with a bad Italian one.<\/p>\n

Picture Mike Myers doing a local cable commercial as “Jalapiñoman” featuring the punchline “If it’s not Scottish Mexican, it’s crap!”<\/p>\n

Number Three: Natalie Celebrates Her First Victory with New Digs<\/strong>
\nFollowing her first LPGA win at the 2007 Evian Masters, Natalie Gulbis is reportedly investigating purchasing a lot alongside the Road Hole where she can put a doublewide.<\/p>\n

“It’s just got a beautiful view of that little ol’ town over there,” she said. “And now that I’ve finally won something, I can afford it.”<\/p>\n

Number Two: Laura Davies Comes Clean<\/strong>
\nLaura Davies has revealed that Gary Player was in fact referring to her with his “I know of one player, for sure…<\/a>” comments regarding performance-enhancing drugs.<\/p>\n

“For some reason, Gary sometimes forgets that I play on the LPGA and not the men’s tours,” said Davies.<\/p>\n

She further clarified that the drugs are not performance-enhancing<\/em>, per se.<\/p>\n

“It’s just my hormone therapy for these darn hot flashes,” said Davies. “It doesn’t help my play that much, but it does keep my caddy healthy. Without it, by now I’d have bumped up a bit of scalp on the back of his head and teed one off from there.”<\/p>\n

By the way, did you ever notice that you never see Laura Davies and John Daly in the same place at the same time?<\/p>\n

Number One: Tiger Plays a Practical Joke on Annika<\/strong>
\n“Oh boy, is this great!” said the world’s number one male golfer. “Stevie and I made up a copy of my yardage book<\/a> from St. Andrews in 2005 using, get this, disappearing ink!”<\/p>\n

“That yardage book is going to be fine for the first couple days,” said Tiger. “But by Saturday, the ink should start disappearing. She’ll get to about the turn, and, all of a sudden, no yardages! It’s going to be hysterical!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saint Andrews and the LPGA are in the news. These stories aren’t!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-trap_five"],"yoast_head":"\nNot the Top Stories from the Women's British Open (Trap Five) - The Sand Trap .com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/thesandtrap.com\/b\/trap_five\/not_the_top_stories_from_the_womens_british_open\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Not the Top Stories from the Women's British Open (Trap Five) - The Sand Trap .com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Saint Andrews and the LPGA are in the news. 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