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Tales from the Golf Shop

TourSpoon

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Today I decided to go to the local Golf Super Duper Store to try out a 3 wood that caught my eye. As the product expert sets up my request, I take a few practice swings with my own club. The lighting is not great, its hard to see if my club face is square, and I hit about the 3 worst balls in my life warming up. I was hemorrhaging on the astroturf as someone's grandfather just stood behind me wondering why the hell I asked to try the tour model.  Then, on the 5th ball, I finally hit the ball down the middle with a quiet draw to roll out at 245. Feeling some redemption I hit 2 more on a similar note, put the club down, and walked slowly to the end of the hitting bay. 

On to the first victim, I mean club. Snap, push, skank, slop, and then a gorgeous draw on the line 245 with identical numbers from my 3 wood. I hit 2 more and then the guy says, "I don't know what you are looking for but that Diablo Octane Tour you brought in put up identical numbers. It's got a heavy stock shaft that feels like it was tipped". Then he says, "Henrick Stenson would still be playing this club if he had his way". OK, I get it, don't fool with what isn't broken. 

At this point I am feeling frisky so I ask to hit a driver model that has the newest and greatest shaft ever in it. In fact I may have just ordered that shaft and its coming Wednesday. Well the store is having an issue in getting inventory so he sets up what he can find and hands me an adjustable game improvement club set to 8.5. Low snap, low push, and then as he steps away I open the face for more loft and I hit it. I mean on the screws coming down on the center line and I stop right there. I mean why even chance it by hitting another ball? So he comes back and says that looks pretty good. He tells me to come back when they get their inventory in and I thank him for his time. 

Now I don't know why it took so long to hit a decent ball because that did not happen when I demoed my irons. I can only think that the thrill of the long club, coupled with the instant gratification of seeing the numbers, only intensified my out of body experience. So yeah, once I swung it like I do in real life I was rewarded with my mere mortal numbers, but nothing fear inspiring like you see on the commercials. 

All in all, the trip was not a total fool's errand as I happened to find some shorts on sale. Like modern drivers they were bigger than the ones of yesterday. While I blame Covid on that I can only think that 25 years in the same size was a pretty good run. 

 



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