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WarrenB

No Talking During Golf? Have Y’all Ever Had This?

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I play with a group of mostly senior golfers a couple times a week. For me it’s a social group and I’m working on my game and showing improvement. Last week I had a member of our board come to me and tell me that he appreciates me playing but I talk too much because he had a complaint. 

    The guy who complained did not say a single word for 18 holes and the only things I said to him was stupid stuff like nice shot, good putt, always polite when he swung and putted. Played with him again yesterday and I was miserable because I don’t like being around sour pusses. Anyone have a suggestion on how to deal with this.  It’s just one guy who apparently everyone is just silent when they are paired with him. I can’t handle serious golf I think I’d quit first. Lol

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Advice - I wouldn't play there.  and I'd call that guy a baby and a coward to his face.

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The worst I've had was a guy who wasn't too interested in talking (although he'd respond if you talked directly to him) and required everybody to be perfectly still while he was over his ball. That was annoying enough. A guy who didn't talk at all? Yikes. Even if I'm playing for something serious, I'm going to talk a little bit.

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I have never understood the reasoning behind some player's insistence that everyone remain stock still and silent when a shot is being played.  Off the tee...sure...we are all just standing around watching anyway...but on the rest of the course?  If someone cannot play while someone else rakes a bunker, wipes off a club head, walks to their ball, or converses quietly with another player, then they had better get accustom to playing by themselves.  How is playing a shot, on the course, any different than playing one on the range...while people mill about, talk, and swing?  If anything...a casual environment is less stressful rather than more so.

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I would be forced to tell him tough shit. As long as you aren't chatting away in the middle of his backswing, then you are fine. Golf is social, thats part of the fun.

Now there is one guy at my course that's just obnoxiously garrulous during rounds, saying good shot even if it's not, giving unsolicited advise, stuff like that. Don't be that guy.

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recall the Lee Travino quote

 

attributed to him as he and Nicklaus were standing on the first tee at Merion during a critical US Open round. Nicklaus went up to Trevino and said, “Lee, I do not feel like talking much today” … to which Lee replied, “That’s OK Jack, you don’t need to talk, just listen.

Edited by rehmwa

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1 hour ago, WarrenB said:

I play with a group of mostly senior golfers a couple times a week. For me it’s a social group and I’m working on my game and showing improvement. Last week I had a member of our board come to me and tell me that he appreciates me playing but I talk too much because he had a complaint. 

    The guy who complained did not say a single word for 18 holes and the only things I said to him was stupid stuff like nice shot, good putt, always polite when he swung and putted. Played with him again yesterday and I was miserable because I don’t like being around sour pusses. Anyone have a suggestion on how to deal with this.  It’s just one guy who apparently everyone is just silent when they are paired with him. I can’t handle serious golf I think I’d quit first. Lol

A: Not talking at all and complaining if someone is just polite and not silent is stupid. If it is as you say it is, then this guy is a dillhole.

B: Make sure that you are being accurate in how you are actually acting. I have played with guys that just won't stop talking during someone's swing. Make sure you're not that guy.

C- Response to this insanity is completely dependent on how much you really like playing in this group or on this course. If you like everyone else and everyone else seems to like you and you want to keep playing here then you can suck it up when you play with this guy or go talk to the board about your perception of the situation. If you really don't care about playing with this group, then the next time you get paired with this fella talk his ear off. Just never shut up. Ask him about his work, how retirement is going, his kids, his wife, his dog, his house, comment on every bit of weather, just don't stop talking EXCEPT for golf courtesy. Even then, talk to his ball while it's moving, compliment every shot effusively.

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7 minutes ago, IowaGreg said:

Heck, even when I'm out on the course by myself, I'm still holding a conversation with the other voices in my head !!!!

I verbalize my shot planning out loud when I'm playing solo - it helps sometimes

3 minutes ago, Chasing_Bogeys said:

 If you really don't care about playing with this group, then the next time you get paired with this fella talk his ear off. Just never shut up. Ask him about his work, how retirement is going, his kids, his wife, his dog, his house, comment on every bit of weather, just don't stop talking EXCEPT for golf courtesy. Even then, talk to his ball while it's moving, compliment every shot effusively.

^^^^^^^^^^^ 🥃

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I wouldn't let it bother me, mainly because the complainer didn't come to me first. 

Also how does the board member actually know if the OP is talking too much? Just taking the word of a complainer without the knowlege of what is actually going on is not being a good board member. 

If I had been the board member, I would have asked the complainer if he had talked to the OP first. If he said "no", I would've told him to try that first. 

Best to handle things man to man is my standing motto. 

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Kinda on topic, but may not be. My buddies and I do the "no hitter" type of thing when someone is playing extremely well. I remember when I was having a then potentially "best round" no one talked to me for the last 6-7 holes, and I talked to no one.

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I

3 hours ago, WarrenB said:

I play with a group of mostly senior golfers a couple times a week. For me it’s a social group and I’m working on my game and showing improvement. Last week I had a member of our board come to me and tell me that he appreciates me playing but I talk too much because he had a complaint. 

    The guy who complained did not say a single word for 18 holes and the only things I said to him was stupid stuff like nice shot, good putt, always polite when he swung and putted. Played with him again yesterday and I was miserable because I don’t like being around sour pusses. Anyone have a suggestion on how to deal with this.  It’s just one guy who apparently everyone is just silent when they are paired with him. I can’t handle serious golf I think I’d quit first. Lol

Give him  the silent treatment he asked for.   Perhaps, he does not like any comments from anyone and that's what he is - an odd ball (I am being nice here).   You got to respect the oddity and don't let that bother you.  If that bothers you, just find another foursome without him.

In my club, I have one guy who barely says anything during a round.  It's awkward.  Another guy constantly talks, mostly about himself, sometimes politics.  I actually prefers to play with the silent type in this case.   It helps me to focus on golf more. 

My 2 cents.

 

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3 minutes ago, rkim291968 said:

Another guy constantly talks, mostly about himself, sometimes politics.  I actually prefers to play with the silent type in this case. 

+1 to that. Been paired w/ people who won't stop w/ the politics talk, (incorrectly) assuming I'm 100% on their page too. Silence is golden in those instances.

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jeez, I will even talk to myself when I play alone... I couldn't go 18 holes without saying something...

And if he doesn't want to "talk", then let him go out first... alone.

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Just tell the guy that puts the groups together that you don't want to be paired with that guy. I would bet you wouldn't be the first guy to make that request.

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I can’t be quiet for for hours and I’m not talking about in tees and greens or whenever someone is swinging. All I said to the guy was nice putt or good shot. Lol. Played with him again today and he said 2 words in 4 hours it’s a little weird to me to play with the men’s social group and not me social. Lol

5 hours ago, Chasing_Bogeys said:

A: Not talking at all and complaining if someone is just polite and not silent is stupid. If it is as you say it is, then this guy is a dillhole.

B: Make sure that you are being accurate in how you are actually acting. I have played with guys that just won't stop talking during someone's swing. Make sure you're not that guy.

C- Response to this insanity is completely dependent on how much you really like playing in this group or on this course. If you like everyone else and everyone else seems to like you and you want to keep playing here then you can suck it up when you play with this guy or go talk to the board about your perception of the situation. If you really don't care about playing with this group, then the next time you get paired with this fella talk his ear off. Just never shut up. Ask him about his work, how retirement is going, his kids, his wife, his dog, his house, comment on every bit of weather, just don't stop talking EXCEPT for golf courtesy. Even then, talk to his ball while it's moving, compliment every shot effusively.

We play different tees. His are usually 100 yards in front of mine and he is one of those guys who lags behind in his cart and since he’s going to a different tee he cuts through the rough and doesn’t come near my box. I’ve been playing for 30 years I’d never talk when someone was putting or swinging a club. His problem was anyone talking to him apparently. Today with my handicap I won him 5 bucks and 9 yesterday. With the stroke I get a par is a birdie and birdie is 3 points in our game. I contributed 9 points front and 12 back side  lol 

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5 minutes ago, WarrenB said:

I can’t be quiet for for hours and I’m not talking about in tees and greens or whenever someone is swinging. All I said to the guy was nice putt or good shot. Lol. Played with him again today and he said 2 words in 4 hours it’s a little weird to me to play with the men’s social group and not me social. Lol

We play different tees. His are usually 100 yards in front of mine and he is one of those guys who lags behind in his cart and since he’s going to a different tee he cuts through the rough and doesn’t come near my box. I’ve been playing for 30 years I’d never talk when someone was putting or swinging a club. His problem was anyone talking to him apparently. Today with my handicap I won him 5 bucks and 9 yesterday. With the stroke I get a par is a birdie and birdie is 3 points in our game. I contributed 9 points front and 12 back side  lol 

Huzzah for making $$$!!!

I offered a couple solutions. I completely agree that this is just stupid by the guy. Hope you find a way to make it work. 

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