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All Time Greatest Phonies You've Encountered?


DoubleAce

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9 hours ago, DoubleAce said:

Seems your buddy is cut from the same cloth as my guy Roy from my OP. In that they both genuinely believed the fantasy they'd created. Granted, your guy didn't believe it enough to think he could go out and qualify for the US Open. 

I think if you play enough golf, you'll run into similar people. Just not as extreme. There were a couple kids in my summer league growing up who were like that. Significant scoring differences between their solo and group rounds.

The mentions of mulligans, skipping shots, padding lies, etc. remind me a lot of the country club days caddying. Forget inside the leather. Some weekends it seemed like inside the flagstick was all it took. Club Championship time always made things interesting. Lot of guys for the first time all year suddenly had to contend with playing the ball down and putting everything out. 

I think lax scoring is pretty prevalent in the game with “breakfast balls,” free drops, and whatever else people feel they are owed are the norm. All of that is fine, as long as you don’t claim these scores as legitimate…or try to qualify for the US Open 😂

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Kid and I got paired with a couple of yahoos at a resort course. Dressed to the 9's. New top of the line players gear. They insisted on playing from the tips, a bit over 7200 yards. We played at the tees that made it  6650 or so yards. Thing was, these guys SUCKED! Either one of them was lucky to carry one of their banana tee shots over 200 yards. Crooked. I think both of them lost at least onea ball a hole on the front. scored 8's and worse on every hole, including the par 3's. Refused to let following groups through. We quit at the turn and informed them why in the pro shop. From what I heard the next day, they were asked to leave the course at the 12th when they got belligerent with a ranger. Our round the next day was free.........

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1 hour ago, Esox said:

Kid and I got paired with a couple of yahoos at a resort course. Dressed to the 9's. New top of the line players gear. They insisted on playing from the tips, a bit over 7200 yards. We played at the tees that made it  6650 or so yards. Thing was, these guys SUCKED! Either one of them was lucky to carry one of their banana tee shots over 200 yards. Crooked. I think both of them lost at least onea ball a hole on the front. scored 8's and worse on every hole, including the par 3's. Refused to let following groups through. We quit at the turn and informed them why in the pro shop. From what I heard the next day, they were asked to leave the course at the 12th when they got belligerent with a ranger. Our round the next day was free.........

Reminds me of a family trip we took to Myrtle Beach when I was maybe 13 or so. Dad and I went and played golf one day. Stopped at one of the million golf stores down there before the round to pick up some stuff. Couple other guys there were really boisterous, talking about how this club and that club is great/terrible/etc. Also dressed to the nines. One picks up a driver and starts going on and on about how this is the club he plays. How he bombs it down the fairway every hole. 

We leave and head to the course. Only to discover they happened to be going to the same course and are in the group in front of us. The "I bomb this driver guy" proceeds to put 6 balls into a lake about 30 yards in front of the tee. The rest of their group wasn't much better. Fortunately they kept the pace of play up for as bad as they were. 

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23 hours ago, Esox said:

Kid and I got paired with a couple of yahoos at a resort course. Dressed to the 9's. New top of the line players gear. They insisted on playing from the tips, a bit over 7200 yards. We played at the tees that made it  6650 or so yards. Thing was, these guys SUCKED! Either one of them was lucky to carry one of their banana tee shots over 200 yards. Crooked. I think both of them lost at least onea ball a hole on the front. scored 8's and worse on every hole, including the par 3's. Refused to let following groups through. We quit at the turn and informed them why in the pro shop. From what I heard the next day, they were asked to leave the course at the 12th when they got belligerent with a ranger. Our round the next day was free.........

Hmmm, sounds like any numbers of YouTube creators out there. Saying "is this the hardest course we've ever played?"... Well, not if you play it from tees that suit your awful game... 

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On 4/14/2022 at 9:07 AM, ChetlovesMer said:

Tue that. 
I actually kind of enjoy Vanity Cappers. 

I was at a USGA handicap seminar and I asked what we should do about the vanity cappers. He said, make sure to pick him up, bring him to the course and play with him. Just don't let him be your partner. 

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Bill M

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On 4/17/2022 at 10:10 AM, Esox said:

Kid and I got paired with a couple of yahoos at a resort course. Dressed to the 9's. New top of the line players gear. They insisted on playing from the tips, a bit over 7200 yards. We played at the tees that made it  6650 or so yards. Thing was, these guys SUCKED! Either one of them was lucky to carry one of their banana tee shots over 200 yards. Crooked. I think both of them lost at least onea ball a hole on the front. scored 8's and worse on every hole, including the par 3's. Refused to let following groups through. We quit at the turn and informed them why in the pro shop. From what I heard the next day, they were asked to leave the course at the 12th when they got belligerent with a ranger. Our round the next day was free.........

Makes my play seem like Tiger Woods. 

And no, I know I'm not perfect either. I'm still new to the game. Last Friday, I played a 9-hole round at Moon Golf Club, and I gave myself maybe 2 "mulligans." Ya know, whacked it with the driver a whopping 5 feet, so I put it on the tee and tried again.  Also on the 8th, I legit picked it up from the 9th fairway and threw it back towards the tee and hit from there. Gave myself the penalty strokes for it though. 

“I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.” - Arnold Palmer
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There was a guy we used to play with who had a vanity cap and liked to announce on the first tee that he was going to shoot par (72) that day. We would then secretly make bets on when he would hit his 72nd shot. It was usually around the 14-15th hole and the winner of the bet would shout Bingo! He never got on to what we were doing.  He wasn't awful, he would usually shoot in the mid-80's, but it was impossible for him to shoot par. 

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Bill M

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It's really funny how we come across people who just have to try and impress others they know or even complete strangers who couldn't care less what their abilities are or aren't. The golf course is probably one of the very best places to shine light on a bs'er than anywhere else.

Rich C.

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43 minutes ago, flopster said:

It's really funny how we come across people who just have to try and impress others they know or even complete strangers who couldn't care less what their abilities are or aren't. The golf course is probably one of the very best places to shine light on a bs'er than anywhere else.

Yep. Even from a young age I discovered you could figure out a lot about a person by simply playing golf with them. 

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It can sort of go the other way though.

Being a hack, I'll let the other guy know it up front,  if I get a random pairing. Half the time, the other guy looks relieved to hear it. It's like he doesn't have to worry about living up to my standards or something. 

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My best friend who has been my golf partner for 8 years is definitely up there. It’s WELL known through all our buddies he drastically lies on the scorecards. Some rounds by over 20 strokes. I’ve counted this guy shoot 9 on a par 5 and said he shot a birdie. We just accepted it after so many years and rather let him believe we think he’s a good golfer than damage our friendship. 

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I think I'm probably the biggest phony I have met. I whack a beautiful drive thinking, "I bet that one went at least 220 in the air". Then, I get home and check Arccos only to find that that it was only 180, counting any roll I might have gotten. I cream a 7 iron - best shot I have ever hit only to find it went 130 - total. But I'm glad I'm a phony. It keeps me going out every chance I get to try, try again. I just know I've got that 220 drive in me. And even if I don't, I can always fool myself into thinking I do. Heck. Maybe it'll be tomorrow?

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One of our club's members is somewhat full of himself and poses as a good player.  If he had a nicer demeanor, I would not bother holding him up as a bad example.

Our club calculates indexes for our members using just competition [C] scores.  We use that index in our tournaments.  We also post our participant's scores to GHIN and the members are supposed to do likewise with their casual rounds.  This particular member has a competition index of 17.1 while his GHIN index is 9.1.  A few years ago he used to have an index around 6.5 but he never posted his tournament scores.  We began to post his tournament scores so his GHIN index has slowly risen.  He no longer could lose the results.  All he can do is play a lot better in his casual rounds to offset the miserable tournament rounds.  He is losing the battle.😉

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Brian Kuehn

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I keep finding the same error in GPS Calculations with my GameGolf.  You would think the programers could come up with a more accurate formula for distance.🙂 

 

Stuart M.
 

I am a "SCRATCH GOLFER".  I hit ball, Ball hits Tree, I scratch my head. 😜

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Just now, StuM said:

I keep finding the same error in GPS Calculations with my GameGolf.  You would think the programers could come up with a more accurate formula for distance.🙂 

 

I believe I'm headed in this direction, soon

From the land of perpetual cloudiness.   I'm Denny

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On 4/18/2022 at 2:20 PM, mcanadiens said:

It can sort of go the other way though.

Being a hack, I'll let the other guy know it up front,  if I get a random pairing. Half the time, the other guy looks relieved to hear it. It's like he doesn't have to worry about living up to my standards or something. 

I have discovered the real secret to hitting a great shot out of a greenside bunker is to preface it by telling your group to watch out, anything could happen.  I did this twice yesterday, both times hitting the ball to a dozen or so feet (which I consider to be an excellent result out of a greenside bunker).

I wonder if pre-round bragging has the opposite effect. 

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18 minutes ago, Shindig said:

I have discovered the real secret to hitting a great shot out of a greenside bunker is to preface it by telling your group to watch out, anything could happen.  I did this twice yesterday, both times hitting the ball to a dozen or so feet (which I consider to be an excellent result out of a greenside bunker).

I wonder if pre-round bragging has the opposite effect. 

My group calls that a pre-bitch! 😉

From the land of perpetual cloudiness.   I'm Denny

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On 4/18/2022 at 3:28 PM, flopster said:

It's really funny how we come across people who just have to try and impress others they know or even complete strangers who couldn't care less what their abilities are or aren't. The golf course is probably one of the very best places to shine light on a bs'er than anywhere else.

I think people try harder to impress strangers since they have a clean slate to draw on. 

Vishal S.

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