Jump to content
IGNORED

Golf Wives and Balance


Gigi

Recommended Posts

I would give anything to have my wife pick up golf. It's the only non-work thing we do apart and I wish we could do it together.

  • Thumbs Up 1

Colin P.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

This place has a huge amount of free help.   The members are usually very friendly and helpful.  Don't be a stranger.  

  • Thumbs Up 1

From the land of perpetual cloudiness.   I'm Denny

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

Here are some thoughts in no particular order:

  • Golf trips 2x a year - I have no problem with this. For a couple who has no kids in the house what is the big deal (unless we are talking 2 week trips to the UK)? If you guys are retired, aren't you taking trips together? If not, start. You worked all your life to have the time and money so enjoy it while you still have it. 
  • Golf all day and drinking is the norm - that is a red flag. I don't mean to judge, but this seems excessive if its the routine. Most retired guys I know play 2-3 times a week and this would never fly health or wife-wise. These guys I am talking about don't rush either, they show up, warm up, play, have lunch, etc.  It is an experience, not a hurry up and get home (like when I was young with kids) rush round. 
  • His shopping is his me time - give him the grocery list and put that me time to use. It sounds like there is some room for more WE time with all the hobbies. 
  • You live in a new community - you really need to meet some people and get some activities going for your own self development. If you feel like you are waiting around for hubs, well that might be a decision point. My suggestion is seek some healthy balance or re-evaluate the situation. I would suggest the communication route first, seeing a therapist, but probably not taking it to an online forum. 

I am not sure what else to say here. My wife and I work full-time (kids grown) and we don't have these issues because we spend plenty of time doing everything else together. She does have a professional life that she enjoys and has plenty of her own goals to accomplish. When I went on my golf trip without her, she told me to have fun and not to worry, she had plenty to catch up on and enjoyed not having to entertain me the whole extended weekend (3.5 days - 6 rounds). She has expressed that when I do retire, she needs me to stay busy for her sanity! I guess that means more golf, part-time job, volunteering, etc. Currently I play about twice a week but if I was retired I would play consistently 3 times a week and still have plenty of time to be a wonderful husband - forty extra hours is a lot of time to fill! 

  • Like 1

Cobra LTDx 10.5* | Big Tour 15.5*| Rad Tour 18.5*  | Titleist U500 4-23* | T100 5-P | Vokey SM7 50/8* F, 54/10* S, SM8 58/10* S | Scotty Cameron Squareback No. 1 | Vice Pro Plus  

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I am a golf fanatic, but my family and wife are important to me as well. Because of this I do play golf a lot, but it's ALL I do. I hang out with my family, and I play golf. I don't go to the pub with the boys, I don't go to the gym, I have no other interests. 

For example, I am still working so I play golf every Sunday. I play early in the morning and I am normally home before noon. Saturdays I practice and I am normally home by 10:00am. If there is a holiday and I don't have to work, I normally play...but I try to be home before noon.

I work in education, so I have summers off. In the summer I play or practice 6-7 days a week. Again, I am home before noon almost all of the time. I also go on a couple golf trips a year, they are boys only, but I also go on several family vacations or camping trips as well. 

As far as playing golf with my wife, I could never do it, it would be a horrible idea. I am a lifelong athlete, and I am very competitive and pretty serious. My wife is neither. I never play "just for the fun of it". I am either practicing or playing to shoot the lowest score I can. She would never understand that mindset.

Marriage has to have some compromise, but at the same time you should want to make time for your significant others. Otherwise, why would you want to have a significant other?

  • Like 1
  • Thumbs Up 1

Danny    In my :ping: Hoofer Tour golf bag on my :clicgear: 8.0 Cart

Driver:   :pxg: 0311 Gen 5  X-Stiff.                        Irons:  :callaway: 4-PW APEX TCB Irons 
3 Wood: :callaway: Mavrik SZ Rogue X-Stiff                            Nippon Pro Modus 130 X-Stiff
3 Hybrid: :callaway: Mavrik Pro KBS Tour Proto X   Wedges: :vokey:  50°, 54°, 60° 
Putter: :odyssey:  2-Ball Ten Arm Lock        Ball: :titleist: ProV 1

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

2 hours ago, NM Golf said:

Marriage has to have some compromise, but at the same time you should want to make time for your significant others. Otherwise, why would you want to have a significant other?

This.

I have refrained from saying much as I can't identify with selfish douchebags who are out dicking around for 10+ hours in the name of 'me time' while the wife is home waiting. 

Golf gets a bad name undeservedly. It ain't about golf. 

Edited by GolfLug
  • Thumbs Up 1

Vishal S.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

When I got married I was already into golf and a member of a club. My wife is into dogs (golden retrievers, to be exact) and spends a lot of time (and money) on that pursuit, so we decided to allow each other the space and time to do those things. She has tried golf off and on and is actually very good at it, the shortcomings being around the greens, but she refuses to take short game lessons in order to score better. I want her to play more because then I could play more (with her) but I have given up trying to get her to take it on as a competitive thing. We could be a formidable couple in mixed events, but she doesn't even want to get a handicap. On the other side of it, I like her dogs but probably wouldn't have one (or more) on my own and I pretty much stay out of that world. 

Bill M

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

On 10/12/2022 at 8:31 PM, GolfLug said:

I have refrained from saying much as I can't identify with selfish douchebags who are out dicking around for 10+ hours in the name of 'me time' while the wife is home waiting. 

My question is why is she waiting? Who wants to hang out with a drunk guy who smells like he just cut the grass? He is definitely taking advantage and it probably won’t last long without a day of reckoning coming soon.

Cobra LTDx 10.5* | Big Tour 15.5*| Rad Tour 18.5*  | Titleist U500 4-23* | T100 5-P | Vokey SM7 50/8* F, 54/10* S, SM8 58/10* S | Scotty Cameron Squareback No. 1 | Vice Pro Plus  

Link to comment
Share on other sites


26 minutes ago, TourSpoon said:

My question is why is she waiting? 

I am assuming this is rhetorical. If not, I would think being married to someone is a good reason.

33 minutes ago, TourSpoon said:

Who wants to hang out with a drunk guy who smells like he just cut the grass?

Lol. She might not find any of these a deterrent. We don't know.

35 minutes ago, TourSpoon said:

He is definitely taking advantage and it probably won’t last long without a day of reckoning coming soon.

Yah, that's a reasonable thought given the OP at face value but it wouldn't be the first time someone does not end up taking the most outwardly obvious path. 

It's complicated. 😁

  • Thumbs Up 1

Vishal S.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Awards, Achievements, and Accolades

15 minutes ago, GolfLug said:

It's complicated. 😁

Exactly, especially when you ask for marriage advice on a golf forum. The 'Trappers always come through! 

  • Thumbs Up 1

Cobra LTDx 10.5* | Big Tour 15.5*| Rad Tour 18.5*  | Titleist U500 4-23* | T100 5-P | Vokey SM7 50/8* F, 54/10* S, SM8 58/10* S | Scotty Cameron Squareback No. 1 | Vice Pro Plus  

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Want to join this community?

    We'd love to have you!

    Sign Up
  • TST Partners

    TourStriker PlaneMate
    Golfer's Journal
    ShotScope
    The Stack System
    FlightScope Mevo
    Direct: Mevo, Mevo+, and Pro Package.

    Coupon Codes (save 10-15%): "IACAS" for Mevo/Stack, "IACASPLUS" for Mevo+/Pro Package, and "THESANDTRAP" for ShotScope.
  • Popular Now

  • Posts

    • Makes sense.  Like I said, I wouldn't have been upset at their original offer either, and based on the fine print it seems like they've held up their end of the deal.  
    • If you've only had to adjust retroactively one time in 8 years and have around 5 people each year without handicaps, that's like 40-50 people total so it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job. I think your questions give enough to go off of. This might be a good way to get new people to actually post a few scores during the 6 weeks leading into the first event. Something like "New members will be eligible for tournament money once they have at least 3 posted rounds in GHIN" or something like that. If they can get 3 rounds in prior to their first event, then they're eligible. If not, they'll soon become eligible after an event or two assuming they play a little bit outside of events.
    • This is a loooooong winded narrative so if you don't like long stories, move on. 😉 Our senior club typically gets about 25 new members each year. We lose about 25 members each year for various reasons (moved to FL/AZ, disabled, dead, too expensive). Of the new members, usually 20 have an active GHIN handicap. About 5 each year do not have a GHIN handicap. When they join our club, we give each member a state association membership that includes GHIN handicapping services. We play a series of handicapped tournaments over the summer. When we sign up a new member who does not have a GHIN handicap, we attempt to give them an estimated index until they have sufficient scores posted to have an actual GHIN index.  Our first event typically is around May 15 so, in theory, a new member has about 6 weeks to post a few scores. Posting season in the Mitten starts April 1. Inevitably, several of the unhandicapped individuals seem  to either not play until the first tournament or can't figure out how to enter scores (hey, they are seniors). That situation then leads to my contacting the new member and asking a series of questions: a. Did you ever have a GHIN handicap? If yes, which State and do you recall what it was? b. Do you have an alternate handicap through a non-GHIN handicap service or a league? c. What do you think your average score was last year (for 9 or 18) d. What was your best score last year? Where did you play and which tee was used? e. What do you consider a very good score for yourself? Based on their responses I attempt to give them an index that makes them competitive in the first couple events BUT does not allow them to win their flight in the first couple events. We don't want the new members to finish last and at the same time, we don't want someone with a "20" playing handicap to win the third flight with a net 57. In the event some new member did shoot a net 57, we also advise everyone that we can and will adjust handicaps retroactively when it is clear to us that a member's handicap does not accurately reflect their potential. We don't like to adjust things retroactively and in the 8 years I have chaired the Handicap Committee, we have only done it once. So here are the questions to the mob: Any ideas how to do this better? Any questions one might ask an unhandicapped individual to better estimate their index/handicap? Would it be reasonable to have a new player play once (or more?) without being eligible to place in the money?
    • Wordle 1,013 4/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
    • Awesome! I got that a while back with my start word! Wordle 1,013 4/6 ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟨 ⬜🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜🟩🟩🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Welcome to TST! Signing up is free, and you'll see fewer ads and can talk with fellow golf enthusiasts! By using TST, you agree to our Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy, and our Guidelines.

The popup will be closed in 10 seconds...