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Favorite Tiger Car Crash Jokes

allin

By allin,
in Tour Talk

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Note: This thread is 5246 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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colin007 Incredible Member

colin007

some repeats, im copying and pasting from another site:

* Tiger's new movie is out: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
* Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."
* Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole-in-one.
* Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.
* What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
* What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
* Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
* Why did Tiger leave the house so early? He has a 2:30 tree time.
* What do a Cadillac SUV and a Nike golf ball have in common? Tiger Woods can drive them both into the trees.
* What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Norwegian.

Colin P.

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sean_miller Incredible Member

sean_miller

. . . What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a

Really?

Anyway, this whole affair isn't Tiger's fault - it's ours. Every time he tees off someone is yelling "Get in da hole!"

Mizuno MP600 driver, Cleveland '09 Launcher 3-wood, Callaway FTiz 18 degree hybrid, Cleveland TA1 3-9, Scratch SS8620 47, 53, 58, Cleveland Classic 2 mid-mallet, Bridgestone B330S, Sun Mountain four5.

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colin007 Incredible Member

colin007

heres another one:



so the skank at the bar invites me over to her apartment, one thing leads to another and we end up in bed. when we're done, i get up and start heading to the bathroom. the skank asks "where are you going?" and i tell her "i'm going to the bathroom to get a drink of water" and she goes "tiger would never do that. come back and make love to me."

so i go back to bed and make love to her. a few minutes later i get up and start heading to the kitchen. she says "where are you going?" and i say "i'm going to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich" and she goes "tiger would never do that. come back and make love to me."

so i go back to bed and make love to her. shortly after we finish i get up and head to the living room. she says "where are you going?" and i say "i'm going to the phone to call tiger and ask him 'what's par for this hole?'"
:)

Colin P.

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right handed phil mickelson Great Member

right handed phil mickelson

Omg I'm about to pee myself I'm laughing so hard at all of these jokes. This has to be the best thread ever made ever.

During the crash, the OnStar in Tiger's car turned on saying "You are O.B. drop in between the fire hydrant and the tree."

But he ended up hitting both of them because Tiger's never been a good driver.

Driver: Callaway Big Bertha Diablo 9º
2 Hybrid: Callaway Big Bertha Heavenwood
Irons: Nike Slingshot OSS 6-3 iron
          Taylormade Tour Preferred PW-7 iron
Wedges: Cleveland CG14 50º, 54º
              Taylormade RAC 58º
Putter: Ping Darby 32" shaft


 

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Clambake Great Member

Clambake

First an errant drive OB, moved an immovable obstruction (hydrant), then damaged a tree, took too many strokes at the wrong hole, and eventually found himself in an unplayable lie - I hate to think of all the the penalty strokes in his round!
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iPutt Dedicated Member

iPutt

Has Mickelson called Elin yet to find out how to beat Tiger?

What the difference between Tigers car driving and his short game? He can back up a wedge.

John Daly woke up and heard on the radio a professional golfer ran over a fire hydrant and hit a tree...so he turned himself in.

Have you heard about Tiger's poor driving?.......He blamed it on his Caddy.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a Tiger Seal?

Seems like Tiger Woods is gonna win the "Player of the year" award.

My favorites

l Bag l TaylorMade Stand Bag

l Driver l TaylorMade '07 Burner 9.5* l 3-Wood l Titleist 910F 15* (D1 shaft setting)

l Hybrids l TaylorMade '07 Burner 19* : TaylorMade '10 Rescue 22*

l Irons l TaylorMade r7 5-PW l Wedges l Titleist Bob Vokey 52* 56* 60*

l Putter l Scotty Cameron California Del Mar 34" l Balls l TaylorMade Penta TP

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iammpspeer Well Established Member

iammpspeer

Tiger isnt a Tiger, hes a Ceetah!

I have another, but I think it would be highly inappropriate to post publically.

9.5º TaylorMade R9 TP VooDoo XNV6 | TaylorMade R9 TP 13º 3W & 19º 5W Both with Fujikura Motore F1 85 | Mizuno MP-57 DG X-100 (3-PW) | Titleist Vokey 52º, 56º, 60º | 34'' Scotty Cameron Studio Select Newport 2 | The Cardinal Club [73.9/135]

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Dave H Dedicated Member

Dave H

Well, I'm sure you've all heard that Tiger wants to change his nickname after this incident, right? He wants to be called Cheetah from now on!
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