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c. lassiter

9 Holes in Bizarro World (Part I)

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The following is a 100% true account of the most bizarre round (albeit only 9 holes) I have ever played, taking place on the golf course at Cornell University in 1991.

OK, let's get started.

Hole 1:

I'm feeling pretty good about my game at this time, having been consistently in the low 80's in the preceding weeks, and thinking one of these days I'd break through and finally shoot in the 70's.

My drive on #1 is pretty good for me at that time, maybe 235 or so, and finds the middle of the fairway.

I pull my club for the second shot, take a practice swing, address the ball and then make a smooth swing only to have the club turn violently in my hand on the downswing, sending the ball nearly 45 degrees to the right and into the woods. OB.

Stunned, I drop a ball and, hitting my 4th shot, just barely find the front of the green, perhaps 50 feet from the pin.

Thinking the round is already toast, I don't spend much time surveying the putt, hit it quickly and watch as it arcs completely across the green (for seemingly 15 minutes or so) finally and stunningly dropping into the cup for a 5.

Hmmm, I think to myself, this round might not be done yet.

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I've had a weird hole like that.

Sliced my drive way right but was on the fairway (of the other hole).
Sliced my next shot onto the teebox (of the other hole)
Thinned my 3rd and it ended up close to the green, sunk the chip.
Birdie. And I played terrible!

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On a par 4 I pulled the drive with a low liner and it hit a close tree and shot backwards over the tee box and ended up 50 yards behind it. I walked back there and hooked a 3 hybrid into the next fairway, then dropped a 6 iron to about a foot and tapped in for par. I don'r remember anything else strange about that round, but that hole was odd.

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youre not gonna make 9 threads are you?

I was actually planning to edit the thread and add the other holes, but now cannot figure out how to do that.

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I was actually planning to edit the thread and add the other holes, but now cannot figure out how to do that.

I'm not sure but I think you might only have a short window to edit posts.

More importantly, why wait 10 years to tell us about a round? Did it scar you that much?

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Note I have condensed this into one post in order to impress all of you with my golfing acumen.

The following is a 100% true account of the most bizarre round (albeit only 9 holes) I have ever played, taking place on the golf course at Cornell University in 1991. Why did I wait 19 years to post about this, you ask? I didn't. I first posted this on Golf Magazine's chatroom in the 1990's, but they closed that down due to rampant trolls, and I just found this site recently.

OK, let's get started.

Hole 1:

I'm feeling pretty good about my game at this time, having been consistently in the low 80's in the preceding weeks, and thinking one of these days I'd break through and finally shoot in the 70's.

My drive on #1 is pretty good for me at that time, maybe 235 or so, and finds the middle of the fairway.

I pull my club for the second shot, take a practice swing, address the ball and then make a smooth swing only to have the club turn violently in my hand on the downswing, sending the ball nearly 45 degrees to the right and into the woods. OB.

Stunned, I drop a ball and, hitting my 4th shot, just barely find the front of the green, perhaps 50 feet from the pin.

Thinking the round is already toast, I don't spend much time surveying the putt, hit it quickly and watch as it arcs completely across the green (for seemingly 15 minutes or so) finally and stunningly dropping into the cup for a 5.

Hmmm, I think to myself, this round might not be done yet.

Hoe 2:

Par 3, 165 years or so.

I hit a good iron shot, but one club too little, and the ball just barely clears the waste area and clings to the slope in front of the green. Still thinking this round may just be for practice, I briefly consider hitting a second tee ball, but decide to play it out.

I walk up, hit a sand wedge, catch it way too clean, send it rocketing toward the flag only to see the ball hit the pin about 1 foot above the hole and drop straight in for a deuce.

Two holes, two very odd outcomes, but even par for the round.

Hole 3

A relatively benign uphill par 4. I hit a decent drive and a very good approach, settling maybe 12 feet from the hole.

But my first putt is horrendous and gets about halfway there. The second one is predictably too strong, burns the edge and races about 8 feet passed the hole. My third putt is weak and offline and never has any chance to go in, but the fourth putt is right smack dab in the center for an excellent 4-putt double bogey.

2 over after 3.

Hole 4

A cool slight dogleg right with a giant tree guarding the right side of the fairway. I know this because my drive nails the tree and finishes short, and right, in jail, with no shot at the green. Well, maybe there's a small opening . . .

Thinking I have nothing to lose at this point, I go for it, hitting a very hard, low 3 iron that sails through the gap in the woods, skips about 14 times in the dry grass and looks like it might get all the way to the green (or in the hole!), but doesn't, settling about 15 feet from the putting surface.

My chip is poor and too long, leaving 15 feet or so straight downhill, which of course I slam directly into the cup for a par.

2 over after 4.

Hole 5

A short par 3 over water.

I hit a short iron absolutely stiff, briefly think the ball is going in, but see it end up just about 3 feet from the hole.

That putt drops too, for the bird, and after 5 holes, and despite an OB and a 4-putt, I am now just 1 over.

Hole 6

A long par 5 which backs up against the snack bar (a piece of information which will become important to our story in a few minutes).

Standing confidently on the tee, I hit a terrible drive, advancing the ball maybe 120 yards, follow that with an epic 5 wood into the center of the fairway and leave myself another 200 or so to the green. This time I go for 5 wood again, and crush it again, watch as it sails over the green and hits the snack bar, ricochets a mile in the air and all the way back onto the edge of the putting surface.

Amazed at my good fortune, I hit a terrible first putt, and then a very good second one which appears to be in but then stops right on the lip, from where I am positive it will tumble into the cup any second now, but it never does. So I tap it in for bogey.

2 over after 6.

Hole 7

Dogleg left long par 4, a horrible hole which I had never even parred in any of the previous dozens of rounds I played on this course (I'm not sure I ever hit the green before, to be honest with you).

But this time I blast the drive way out to the right giving myself a good angle into the green, follow it with a killed second shot to maybe 6 feet and then drain the putt for a birdie without any drama whatsoever.

Stunningly, I am now 1 over after 7.

Hole 8

Par 5 over a service road, up a hill, straight away, very long.

Another killed drive followed by a fantastic 3 wood that, for the first time in my golf career to that point, finds the green and leaves just 20 make-able feet or so for eagle.

Thinking I am definitely going to drain this one (and go 1 under for the round), I instead hit a putt very similar to the one on hole 3, which gets barely halfway there. Followed by a crummy second one leaving about 4 feet now for par.

Now unbelievably nervous, I step up and stroke that putt too hard, and then watch as, in another first in my golf career, the ball performs a dreaded horseshoe around the cup and finishes about 2 inches in front of the hole.

Fortunately, I make that one for a 6.

2 over par after 8.

Hole 9

Straightaway not-too-difficult par 4, which I begin by hitting a solid drive to the left side of the fairway.

And then, standing over the second shot and thinking that if I hole out from the fairway I can still shoot an even par 9, I instead repeat the second shot I struck on number 1, as the club turns violently in my hand and the ball goes almost straight right. Though this time I am still in play.

Unfazed, I hit another 6 iron (while strangling the club as tightly as possible), catch it unbelievably thin and worm burn it all the way to the green (though I can't see exactly where it finishes from my vantage point in the fairway).

As I walk up, I see the ball is not more than 7 feet from the hole with a nice, straight in putt for par.

With two putts for 39, I hit the first one timidly but am heartened to see the ball trickle down to maybe 2 feet from the hole.

So I walk up to tap the ball in and then watch in horror it does not even threaten the hole, going both too strong and wide of the target, finishing about 3 feet away. For good measure, I miss the comebacker too, for a swell 7 and a solid 41 for the side.

So, in total, I had one OB, three birdies, hit the pin once, had three four-putts, hit one snackbar, had one ball defy gravity on the edge of the hole, hit my first ever par 5 in two, and had the first horsehoe I had ever had to that point (or since – never done it again. Not even once in the intervening 19 years).

Not very impressive, and a choke job for sure. But all true.

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Note: This thread is 3354 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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