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WHY WHY WHY.....

1. Supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

2. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

3. Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

4.Why do we leave cars worth thousands of $$$$$ in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.


EVER WONDER ...

5. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

6. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

7. Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

8. Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

9. Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

10. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

11. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

12. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

13. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

14. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

15. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

16. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

17. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

18. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

19. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

20. Why Golf is such a stupid game and golfers still playing it.....


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He will meet the love of his life on Thursday if ten people post in his thread. Only a few more! Come on!!!! He will also win the lottery if someone can work the phrase "peach flavored roof shingle sandwich" into their post. Tough one that.
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I thought they were funny.

Some of them are clever - mascara with the mouth open... mouse flavored cat food.... but some of them are astonishingly simpleminded. There are several meanings of the word "terminal" "broker" and "practice." Dish Soap has ONE DROP of lemon juice in it to help sell it to people. The OP noticed, so the marketing ploy works. Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box material? What is this... 1995 stand up comedy? You could make the exterior of the black box out of cardboard, duct tape, and paper clips, and if buried deep in the correct portion of the plane it would be just fine in lots of crashes. Last I knew, no aircraft crash ever has began with the black box hitting the mountain FIRST. It is not kept in the nose of the plane or on a leading edge of the wing.....

A few good ones, surrounded by a few mediocre ones, and a lot of crap. Like shooting 100 I bet.
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  • 1 month later...

In this reply, I will suck all of the fun out of the original post.  In the 20 years that have passed since most of these jokes have been 'written', great scientific minds were able to find the answers to these conundrums.

Originally Posted by Uncle Lau

WHY WHY WHY.....

1. Supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.  Space.  Also, not all supermarkets are set up this way.  The stores in my area have the pharmacies in front (but to the side).

2. Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Some people actually prefer the taste of diet soda and although the meal will kill you, you're still saving a good 400+ calories by not drinking the regular.

3. Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.  Pens are easy to take whether intentionally or unintentionally.  Not so for stealing out of a vault.

4.Why do we leave cars worth thousands of $$$$$ in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage.  Convenience and ease of storage.

EVER WONDER ...

5. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?  Melanin in our skin, not in our hair.

6. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?  I think a more pertinent question is how can women manage to put on mascara in a moving car.  Also, keeping mouths closed isn't really a strength for many women.

7. Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? The existence of true psychic ability is questionable.

8. Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?  Because it's not an abbreviation.

9. Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'? One of the accepted definitions of the word practice is 'the business of a professional person'.

10. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Shelf stability, costs, and marketing.

11. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? This could be asked "Why is losing all of your money called 'going broke'?"

12. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?  People are in a rush to get to or from work.

13. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Cats aren't necessarily attracted to the taste of mice.  It's the motion and act of hunting that intrigues them.

14. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? His charge did not include screening survivors before acceptance onto the Ark.

15. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? Because lawyers are involved and no state wants to pay out a settlement for giving a dead guy a disease.

16. You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!  The indestructability of the black box most likely comes mainly from it's location inside the structure.  You'll see the same result with a quarter that is stored in the center console of a car that's involved in a really bad crash.  And yet we know that making a car out of the same material used to make quarters wouldn't really be that beneficial.

17. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?  The shrinkage mainly occurs within the fabric's weave and not in the threads themselves.

18. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?  The word was created to describe distinct and separate (apart) living spaces housed within a single entity.  It is the fact that they are stuck together that makes them apartments.  Otherwise, another title (e.g., rental unit) is more appropriate.

19. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?  Synonyms.  The general definition of terminal refers to a 'boundary' or 'end'.  Just as airports are at the ends (or boundaries) of flights, so is death the end (or boundary) of life.

20. Why Golf is such a stupid game and golfers still playing it.....It beats mowing the lawn or talking to your significant other on a warm Saturday.

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Kudos. I nearly did the same thing but gave up around question four when I realized the answers were all obvious. :-)

Originally Posted by double_j

In this reply, I will suck all of the fun out of the original post.  In the 20 years that have passed since most of these jokes have been 'written', great scientific minds were able to find the answers to these conundrums.


Or should be obvious, anyway.

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