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Wife just "approved" of every-other-week tee times!!!!!


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Let me be the first to applaud you for being respectful to your wife and new baby. :-) I have 3 young children myself (4, 2, and 1) and getting out for 5 hours for 18 holes is tough indeed. When they're 4 months old, and especially when they're your first, it's a tough adjustment and resentment can build when one is at home trying to manage and the other is out enjoying the day golfing. Most of us don't think about it from the other perspective, but imagine how the guys here giving you grief would feel if they were new parents with a 4 month old and their wife was out shopping for 5 hours every Saturday. They may not admit it, but it would get under their skin. How about every Saturday for a month, and then 6 months? It would take its toll. I get out every Friday after work and play 9 holes with my oldest son. He enjoys riding in the cart with me, holding my putter and wedge when we get to the green, and my glove when I'm putting. After we finish our 9, he gets to pull his putter out of the car and "play putt-putt" on the practice green for 15 minutes. He's learning about golf, he's loving his time outside on the course and with his Dad, I'm playing 9 holes every week, and my wife appreciates only have 2 kids around for a short afternoon every week. I've taken my 2 year old out as well, but he's not quite patient enough for 9 holes yet. I get out every other weekend or so for a full 18. I find the key is giving her the opportunity to do the same. She doesn't quite have a hobby like golf, but something as simple as having her go to dinner with her sisters equates to a morning/afternoon of weekend golf for me. Sure, I could be a jerk and just plan it and go, but the kickback isn't worth the trouble and frankly I'd feel like a jerk knowing how tough it is with our two older boys going at it all day. Instead, plan it with her input. I still get to golf, she's not upset about it, and we all win.
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Yeah I can't image a wife wanting help between 5-8 when dinner is being made and the kids are getting ready for bed. Or look at it the other way, how often does your wife leave you alone for 4+ hours with the kid each week?

Originally Posted by BuckeyeNut

This makes no sense to me.   I don't understand the whole "Married with kids=Can't play golf" concept. I can understand why it might not be a good idea to tee off at NOON on the weekend, play a 5hr round, spend 1-2hrs at the 19th hole, and be gone all day!!  OK.....can see how that can be a problem, but it's more about proper scheduling and common sense than it is anything else.  As a person married 20yrs with kids, I do not relate to the above posts in the slightest.  I have always played at least 4 times a week!

My advice:

Play early on the weekends and be home before NOON.  ..............and what wife isn't happy to get their husband out of the house two weekday evenings too?  Seriously....I don't comprehend where these people are coming from....it's as if they are required to be in same room with their spouse 24/7 seven days a week or something.  That's just plain crazy.....unless $$ is the real issue. IE....money is tight and it's either you have the money to buy diapers or play golf.

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Good to hear your wife "approved".  I'm happily married, and understand the need to live by the code of 'A Happy Wife = A Happy Life'...

But my wife understands that ' A Happy Husband = Playing Regular Golf  = A Happy Life' for her too!

.

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Good advice, Dave!  I let my wife have a chunk of time on Sundays following my Saturday rounds.  During the fall, I just watch NFL with my 2 young sons, and in the summer, I can drive them to the club and let them mess around in the practice areas while I'm at the range.  It's a give and take, but there's no reason you can't bargain 1 round per week as well as 9 holes one weekday evening after work.

Originally Posted by David in FL

Nice!

Now tell her that she needs some down time too. Tell her to call a friend or two and take a girls night out. Pretty soon you'll be playing every week!

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Originally Posted by Chris Stewart

Let me be the first to applaud you for being respectful to your wife and new baby. I have 3 young children myself (4, 2, and 1) and getting out for 5 hours for 18 holes is tough indeed. When they're 4 months old, and especially when they're your first, it's a tough adjustment and resentment can build when one is at home trying to manage and the other is out enjoying the day golfing. Most of us don't think about it from the other perspective, but imagine how the guys here giving you grief would feel if they were new parents with a 4 month old and their wife was out shopping for 5 hours every Saturday. They may not admit it, but it would get under their skin. How about every Saturday for a month, and then 6 months? It would take its toll.

I get out every Friday after work and play 9 holes with my oldest son. He enjoys riding in the cart with me, holding my putter and wedge when we get to the green, and my glove when I'm putting. After we finish our 9, he gets to pull his putter out of the car and "play putt-putt" on the practice green for 15 minutes. He's learning about golf, he's loving his time outside on the course and with his Dad, I'm playing 9 holes every week, and my wife appreciates only have 2 kids around for a short afternoon every week. I've taken my 2 year old out as well, but he's not quite patient enough for 9 holes yet.

I get out every other weekend or so for a full 18. I find the key is giving her the opportunity to do the same. She doesn't quite have a hobby like golf, but something as simple as having her go to dinner with her sisters equates to a morning/afternoon of weekend golf for me. Sure, I could be a jerk and just plan it and go, but the kickback isn't worth the trouble and frankly I'd feel like a jerk knowing how tough it is with our two older boys going at it all day. Instead, plan it with her input. I still get to golf, she's not upset about it, and we all win.


I truly appreciate the sentiment here.  It's nice to know that there are others that believe in 50/50 happiness in a relationship and not just "declaring" the right to play.  I really can't wait until I can bring my son out on the course and show him the joys and beauty of golf.  But for now, it truly is just a game of juggling time and recipricating the effort for my wife to enjoy herself with the things she loves to do.

Keep Calm and Chive On!

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I totally hear you.  I've got a 14-month old, and golf is a luxury now.  A luxury that I indulge myself in frequently, but a luxury nonetheless.  But I think it's a worthy trade:  I've never pull-hooked or 3-putted while playing on the living room floor with my little girl, and I've never thrown one of her toys across the room muttering to myself "why do I play with this child?".

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Originally Posted by BuckeyeNut

This makes no sense to me.   I don't understand the whole "Married with kids=Can't play golf" concept. I can understand why it might not be a good idea to tee off at NOON on the weekend, play a 5hr round, spend 1-2hrs at the 19th hole, and be gone all day!!  OK.....can see how that can be a problem, but it's more about proper scheduling and common sense than it is anything else.  As a person married 20yrs with kids, I do not relate to the above posts in the slightest.  I have always played at least 4 times a week!

My advice:

Play early on the weekends and be home before NOON.  ..............and what wife isn't happy to get their husband out of the house two weekday evenings too?  Seriously....I don't comprehend where these people are coming from....it's as if they are required to be in same room with their spouse 24/7 seven days a week or something.  That's just plain crazy.....unless $$ is the real issue. IE....money is tight and it's either you have the money to buy diapers or play golf.

Don't want to stand in judgement of you.  Everyone has to raise their kids their way but, if you work all week, the only time for kids is the weekends.  Even if you play early, you are still missing a ton of time with family.  What about church on Sunday?  Kids sports are played on Saturday mornings.  If your wife is a stay at home mom, she has had the kids all week and may need a break.  What do you do on the weekend afternoons?  Most sports guys watch football.  There's more time disconnected.  Trust me, when my kids were young, I used to play golf on both Saturday and Sunday and then was glued to TV for football the rest of the day.  I soon realized how much my family wanted to spend time with me.  I didn't completely give up the game but I cut back significantly.  As they got older I started playing more again.  My youngest child picked up the game and my wife started encouraging me to take him to go play!  There are seasons for everything and sometimes our enthusiasm for the game can get in the way of life.  It's all about perspective and everyone has to figure out what's most important.  But to the OP....enjoy your days on the links.  You'll get more as time goes on.


 

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Hi. It's zip's friend from the lost wedge thread. I saw no women had commented (are there any here???), so I figured you were all dying for a female perspective. So here it is.

You marry who you marry. If you marry a golfer, expect him to play golf. If you marry a football nut, expect him to spend Saturday and Sunday watching or at the game. If you marry a fisherman, expect to own a bass boat and that he will be on the lake all summer. You picked him. Same thing applies to the woman you marry. Having children forces people to make certain sacrifices and concessions, of course, but it doesn't have to rewrite your whole lifestyle. That "two become one flesh" thing is a metaphor.

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Originally Posted by Moxie Dawn

Hi. It's zip's friend from the lost wedge thread. I saw no women had commented (are there any here???), so I figured you were all dying for a female perspective. So here it is.

You marry who you marry. If you marry a golfer, expect him to play golf. If you marry a football nut, expect him to spend Saturday and Sunday watching or at the game. If you marry a fisherman, expect to own a bass boat and that he will be on the lake all summer. You picked him. Same thing applies to the woman you marry. Having children forces people to make certain sacrifices and concessions, of course, but it doesn't have to rewrite your whole lifestyle. That "two become one flesh" thing is a metaphor.

Your husband must be living in heaven! :D

.

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Originally Posted by Beachcomber

Your husband must be living in heaven! :D

I'm divorced. He wasn't nearly as supportive of my dreams and goals as I was of his, among other things. But that's for a different forum.

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Originally Posted by x129

Yeah I can't image a wife wanting help between 5-8 when dinner is being made and the kids are getting ready for bed. Or look at it the other way, how often does your wife leave you alone for 4+ hours with the kid each week?

Exactly!

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Originally Posted by Beachcomber

Your husband must be living in heaven! :D

Or hell. Depends on where he went after she killed him.

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I am much like the OP... but the biggest issue with us is that my wife is also a golfer.  Now you really get into the 50/50 split.  Still we have figured out a schedule that allows me to get in 27 holes a week and her at least 18 most of the time 27 a week.  Give and take, give and take.  That is the name of the game in marriage

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Originally Posted by BuckeyeNut

This makes no sense to me.   I don't understand the whole "Married with kids=Can't play golf" concept. I can understand why it might not be a good idea to tee off at NOON on the weekend, play a 5hr round, spend 1-2hrs at the 19th hole, and be gone all day!!  OK.....can see how that can be a problem, but it's more about proper scheduling and common sense than it is anything else.  As a person married 20yrs with kids, I do not relate to the above posts in the slightest.  I have always played at least 4 times a week!

My advice:

Play early on the weekends and be home before NOON.  ..............and what wife isn't happy to get their husband out of the house two weekday evenings too?  Seriously....I don't comprehend where these people are coming from....it's as if they are required to be in same room with their spouse 24/7 seven days a week or something.  That's just plain crazy.....unless $$ is the real issue. IE....money is tight and it's either you have the money to buy diapers or play golf.

If your wife wants you out of the house 4 times per week while having kids at home, you must be unbearable to live with, or she has a visitor over while you're gone...

I would never want to be away from my kids 2 or 3 nights per week and 8-10 hours on the weekends or however 4+ rounds works out, early AM or not.  My kids are awake by 7AM every day.  Whether your wife will put up with it or not, being a good father does not include working full time and playing 4+ rounds of golf per week.

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Originally Posted by Gresh24

I would never want to be away from my kids 2 nights per week and 8 hours on the weekends or however 4 rounds works out, early AM or not.  My kids are awake by 7AM every day.  Whether your wife will put up with it or not, being a good father does not include working full time and playing 4 rounds of golf per week.

Yeah, what he said ^^.

If you work full time there just isn't enough time to spend with your kids and play golf that much.  Right now, I'm lucky if I play every 3 weeks (more like once a month) and that is enough.  (I am trying to sneak out of work occasionally when it slows to get a round in, but its hard on the weekends)  When they get older, I'll play more, but for now I'd prefer to hang out with my wife and kids.

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Originally Posted by BuckeyeNut

This makes no sense to me.   I don't understand the whole "Married with kids=Can't play golf" concept. I can understand why it might not be a good idea to tee off at NOON on the weekend, play a 5hr round, spend 1-2hrs at the 19th hole, and be gone all day!!  OK.....can see how that can be a problem, but it's more about proper scheduling and common sense than it is anything else.  As a person married 20yrs with kids, I do not relate to the above posts in the slightest.  I have always played at least 4 times a week!

My advice:

Play early on the weekends and be home before NOON.  ..............and what wife isn't happy to get their husband out of the house two weekday evenings too?  Seriously....I don't comprehend where these people are coming from....it's as if they are required to be in same room with their spouse 24/7 seven days a week or something.  That's just plain crazy.....unless $$ is the real issue. IE....money is tight and it's either you have the money to buy diapers or play golf.

With the exception of the 4 round a week number (1-2 seems more reasonable to me), I couldn't agree more this post.  As with anything in life, a healthy balance is key.  A relationship should allow both parties to participate in activities that are important to them, both together and apart.  I've been married 13 years (together for 20 years) and have a 2 year old daughter.  I spend oodles of time with them, but I also love playing sports and maintaining relationships with friends.  As does my wife.  I highly doubt we'd still be together if we spent all our days in the same room staring lovingly into each other's eyes.

Monetary issues excluded, I always cringe when I hear someone asking their spouse for "permission" to do some nominal activity.  Schedule and conflict coordination for sure, but as a 38 year old man I'm not asking for anyone's permission to play golf.

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Originally Posted by burtonda

With the exception of the 4 round a week number (1-2 seems more reasonable to me), I couldn't agree more this post.  As with anything in life, a healthy balance is key.  A relationship should allow both parties to participate in activities that are important to them, both together and apart.  I've been married 13 years (together for 20 years) and have a 2 year old daughter.  I spend oodles of time with them, but I also love playing sports and maintaining relationships with friends.  As does my wife.  I highly doubt we'd still be together if we spent all our days in the same room staring lovingly into each other's eyes.

Monetary issues excluded, I always cringe when I hear someone asking their spouse for "permission" to do some nominal activity.  Schedule and conflict coordination for sure, but as a 38 year old man I'm not asking for anyone's permission to play golf.

Yes, absolutely, it's just that for some of us at the same stage in our lives, spending time with the kids IS what's important to us.  And when you work full time during the week, the only way to spend "oodles" of time with the kids is during the weekends.

I think a round of golf every other week would be ideal at this point.

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Originally Posted by Golfingdad

Yes, absolutely, it's just that for some of us at the same stage in our lives, spending time with the kids IS what's important to us.  And when you work full time during the week, the only way to spend "oodles" of time with the kids is during the weekends.

I think a round of golf every other week would be ideal at this point.

Spending time with my kid IS my top priority, but thanks for assuming otherwise.  Each week has 168 hours in it.  I work for 40-45 of them and sleep for 40-50 of them leaving around 80 hours of time available.  5 hours for a round of golf (10 for 2 rounds every other week) out of 80 free weekly hours seems excessive to you?

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Note: This thread is 4321 days old. We appreciate that you found this thread instead of starting a new one, but if you plan to post here please make sure it's still relevant. If not, please start a new topic. Thank you!

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