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Golf sayings that grind my gears


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Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

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Why do golfers always want to say things that don't make sense and make everyone mad in general?  For the life of me I won't figure it out.  I was playing a half nine the other day with friend who happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on.  Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots except when you are on the green and then they are "putts" or "putt shots".  the other one I still don't understand is why they say whole in one.  Everytime I hit a putt shot in the hole I always say whole in one.  That chic kept telling me that that is only if you hit in in one shot, but I splained to her that everytime you hit it it is one shot.  It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.  Anyway I am still a noob to the game and she is too, I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

A) Is she your cousin, or your "friend who just happens to be a girl but is not your girlfriend, she is just cool to hang around on?" If it's the former, I doubt there's much "hanging around on." B) They didn't call him "Two Chip" Chen for nothing. C) No such thing as "putt shots." Just "putts."

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It is impossible to hit one shot more than once.  I told her to try it and she couldn't do it so she finally agreed with me.

Ha Ha. Classic Gilberg post.

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Originally Posted by Gilberg

Everytime she hit the ball I could hear her saying to herself - "great golf shot".  I tried to splain to her that they are all golf shots ...

I'm actually gonna go the other route fellas!  I totally agree with this. Why do the announcers have to say "golf shot?"  Do they think I'm gonna get confused and think that Phil Michelson just sent a basketball game into overtime?  Same thing with the football announcers insisting on saying he's a great "football player."  Because, again, I might have been confused and thought he was a Roman Gladiator.  (They also refuse to say NFL ... they must say "National Football League")

OK, I'm done now. ;)

Gilberg, can't wait to hear your next story!  Keep 'em coming!

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Originally Posted by Gilberg

I just really really bad don't want to sound like an indiot when I play with my cousin.

Good luck with that but I figure that horse has already left the barn unless your cousin is a close enough DNA match to not know the difference.

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Ever since I watched Brian Skatell on Big Break Prince Edward Island I laugh whenever I hear a golfer tell someone they "hit that shot pure" or they "pured" that shot.

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Originally Posted by teed off

Mindless drivel

Originally Posted by indyvai

Nice Golf Thread!

Nah, you guys are just new. Gilberg is a drive-by prankster of the highest order. Classic stuff. Check out his backlog, funny as hell.

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Years ago I was playing tennis when I jumped up to smash and came down sideways on my ankle.  I splained it pretty badly.

Basically anything that one can hear screamed out immediately during or after a tee shot at a pro golf tournament has to qualify as a top-ten most annoying golf-related expression.

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Just read the majority of Gilberg's work. He is an absolute gem. Hilarious! I love his style too. Throw a couple posts up and disappear for a bit. Always leave em wanting more. Brillant.

Gilberg - Keep it up guy.

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