I Hate Getting Paired Up With "That Guy"

[D-Man]

Originally Posted by Golfingdad

I rarely, if ever, play with "that guy."

I highlighted the two parts I think are the most relevant.  You explained to us in one paragraph (a paragraph that takes me less than 15 seconds to read out loud).  My question is, why seethe (sp?) through a piece of instruction you hate and don't want or need, repeated 3 times, then get pissed off, when you could, rather easily, tell him exactly what you just told us after the first time?  If he doesn't get the idea and still repeats it more, then by all means, "blow up."

I mean why are you allowing a guy ruin your day like that?  A guy who, mind you, is only trying to brighten your day, no matter how misguided?

I, myself, don't care for unsolicited advice either, but just simply smile and say thanks, and move on.  If it's repeated, I'd go with the advice already mentioned above and tell him I'll give it a shot next time on the range.

I don't ever give people advice while playing because 1) I don't really pay attention to strangers swings, and 2) I don't feel qualified.  Occasionally, though, if the right opportunity presents itself, I may slip a little.  Thursday, for example.  Guy I got paired up with was a 25-ish capper type guy who, after hitting a couple of bad shots, started voicing his frustrations out loud.  He complained about not understanding why he was alternately hitting it fat then thin then fat, etc, etc.  Well, based on that I knew there was a good chance that his biggest problem was not having his weight forward at impact.  Since he "asked" I decided it was OK for me to answer, but I still phrased it something like "I used to have a similar problem with fat and thin shots, and for me, it turned out that I didn't have my weight forward enough at impact.  The club was bottoming out behind the ball, so if I hit the ground it was a fat shot, and if I missed, I thinned it.  I'm not really certain if your issue is the same, but that could definitely be a possibility."  And that was the end of it.  (Not really advice, just my opinion of what may be one cause of his problem.  If he was interested in trying to solve it sometime, great.  If not, that's great too.)

You're right, I'm part of the problem.  But I think my sheer hatred for unsolicited advice from a stranger and my greater hatred for advice coming from a 25+ capper get in the way.  The way I look at it is, I shouldn't have to tell you (by you, I mean the 25+ capper) I've dislocated my left shoulder way more than 10 times (I lost track after 10) and I've created a swing that works with my messed up shoulder and you're just seeing me on an off day.  You shouldn't be giving unsolicited advice or any advice for that matter!

[D-Man]

Originally Posted by SloverUT

I've said it before on here and I'll say it again.  People on here seem to get upset/offended/disctracted by the littlest things.

I don't like it when I'm paired up with a guy who won't talk the entire round.

I don't like it when I'm paired up with a guy who tries to talk to me.

I don't like it when someone tries to give me advice.

I don't like it when someone isn't willing to take my advice.

I don't like it when guys take to long on the course.

I don't like it when guys go to fast and rush me.

If so many things bother so many people I don't see how anyone ever has any fun.

If someone offers you advice in the future, simply say that you will try it out on your next range visit and go on.  By doing this you have acknowledged his advice and he'll probably be happy.  Then it is up to you whether or not you heed his advice and try it out at the range.

As far as only taking advice from people better than me I am not a subscriber.  I have had people who play worse than me (due to physical limitiations that you mentioned) offer very sound advice that I tried and got good results.  I have also gotten advice from scratch golfers that made absolutely no sense and even worse they didn't do themselves.

I am probably around a 25 HC due to only starting less than a year ago.  However, if I walked up to you and told you that you needed to keep your head still, weight forward, and have a flat left wrist at impact, what would you say?

I would have fun if "that guy" would just shut the hell up!

Your advise in bold is sound, I probably wouldn't say anything.  It's the fundamentals of a good swing.  However, I've never heard a "that guy" say something like that, ever!

[saevel25]

Pretty much most people allow themselves to be bothered, or offended by something.

[rehmwa]

Originally Posted by saevel25

Pretty much most people allow themselves to be bothered, or offended by something.

This is good, it's not about the guy piping up.  It's how we take it.  If the delivery is awkward, I'd ask the angry grouches here if they come across any better talking about "seething" and "blowing up" and "hitting them in the head with a 7i", (which I doubt really happens in real life - it's a jerky reaction)

A high handicapper offering "advice" is more likely looking to have a conversation about swing mechanics to either validate something he's tried recently for himself, or even seeing if what he's talking about makes sense so he can apply it to his own swing.  (he'd get better reception if he'd just come out with "here's what I'M doing, you ever have that issue?  How do/did you deal with it?"  but most people aren't that smooth)

Sometimes, it's worthwhile to not actually take the advice, but use it as a discussion during the walk.  "that doesn't work for me, but here's what you are likely seeing and here's how I try to address it.  Have you tried that yourself?"  (( It's sly, and turns the advice thing around on them.  Then you can see if they know how to take their own medicine in a classy way.))

The worse the player is, the more likely they are just talking and trying to debug their own problems and want a sounding board.  I'd think instead of a violent and irritated rant at the newbie, maybe just going with it could help at least one of the players.

golfers LIKE to talk about their swings and what they are working on.  It's really all in the delivery.

[Meltdwhiskey]

Maybe unrelated - but I was beside a guy at the range a couple of weeks ago.  He had a big bucket, dressed the part, looked like he was really trying to get into it and do better.  But as he started the downswing, he put his weight so far back he could not make good contact with the ball.  His back foot actually moved backward in sort of a little James Brown sliding move - with every shot.  And he would often take steps backwards at the end of the swing.

When he actually struck the ball, it was a topped shot that went just a short distance.  And he wiffed about 1 out of every 8 - having swung totally behind the ball.  I don't play very good golf, but I felt like I could have had him actually able to hit the ball in 2 seconds.  It was a glaring problem.

But I didn't think it was cool to say something.  I might have if it has just been he and I on an empty range.  I might have asked if he was open to any advice.  So I minded my own business.  But I really did want to help.

[MPtheKid]

I do not seek out advice from others nor do I dispense advice to others. But I have to agree with the sentiment that it is each person's choice whether or not to react poorly to someone trying to give advice. In reality, you do not have to listen to this person or contemplate the advice. You can choose to let it go in one ear and out the other. This is a must for me. I need to let all distractions go so that I can concentrate and carry on with my round. Getting bogged down in what other people are doing or saying is a recipe for disaster in my case.

[jowlar]

I never give advice to strangers but I LOVE to give my buddies advice.  Tips like "try taking the headcover off before you hit it" and "bend your elbows more to keep your purse from sliding off your shoulder" are timeless fundamentals that all golfers can benefit from.

[Ernest Jones]

Originally Posted by jowlar

"bend your elbows more to keep your purse from sliding off your shoulder"

I am so using that! LOL.

[Dave2512]

I don't care what people do as long as they aren't disruptive, destructive or slow.

[divot dave]

I often encounter "that guy" at the driving range. Just the other day, I wanted to hit a quick bucket then head home to the wife and kids after work. I hadn't hit my first ball yet when this kind old man asked me to show him my swing. Mind you, he was instructing a young girl (12 y/o?) at the time, so maybe he was just in a coaching rhythm... so I show him my swing and he immediately puts on the free coach mantle. Now, I honestly didn't mind, he was a gentleman and a nice guy. He also correctly identified a fault with my takeaway. But he went on to attempt to restructure my swing and engage me with a free lesson without asking, and that chewed up a good 45 minutes or more. Needless to say, the wife was a bit passive aggressive with me by the time i got home .

[Wisguy]

After getting the unsolicited advice, I think the best response would be "Tell me again what you got on the Xth hole [whichever one on which he blew up the worst]?"  When he mumbles that he tripled it, give him a very understanding nod, say "Ahhh.  That's what I thought."  Then proceed to change the topic to your local NFL team's draft picks or if you're feeling less charitable, ignore him.

[newtogolf]

In the few years I've been playing golf I've found free golf advice is like free financial advice, mostly worthless.   Most golfers are not qualified to instruct and should refrain from offering advice unless asked, especially on the golf course.  Everyone knows the course isn't the place to introduce new swing thoughts or movements.  If you feel compelled to offer advice wait until after the round and let the guy know your observations rather than making them uncomfortable and "watched" during the entire round.

In my experience, "that guy" doesn't usually don't let it go after their first nugget, they then take it upon themselves to "fix" every part of your game, as they see it.  Meanwhile they hack the ball around the course with excuses on why they are playing so poorly that day.   Everyone has a different swing, just because their swing doesn't look like yours doesn't mean it's wrong.  I can imagine some of these guys would try to give Bubba Watson some tips if they saw him swing and didn't know who he was.

Talk about the weather, your kids, sports, even golf.

[MS256]

The problem with "swing tips" is that unless we know the person's swing, and what they are trying to do, some of the mechanical "rules" we think we know may not even apply to their swing at all. Once somebody gets to around a 5 or better handicap it's pretty unlikely somebody that doesn't know their swing would know the keys to their swing enough to even give an educated tip.

If some of the swings from past PGA Tour players were recorded in shadow so nobody knew who they were seeing and they were posted as a 10 handicapper on a web site it would be funny to read the tips some of them would get from people that think they know THE golf swing.

Just this morning I was reading some "tips" that either didn't apply at all to what the person was trying to do or were completely contradictory to what they were trying to do.

My favorites are when somebody is only doing a drill and they get comments based on a full swing.

[ridenemwild]

All of the guys I play with are very considerate of etiquette and I follow suit so this hasn't been a problem for me on the course. But the local pro shop is another story. I can't pick a club up and try it out in there without the guy running the shop trying to give me a lesson. I guess in his defense that if he can fix my swing then I might buy the club because I hit it better. But it is very aggravating because the whole reason I'm trying out a new club to get a feel of it with my swing not a modified swing.

[newtogolf]

Originally Posted by ridenemwild

All of the guys I play with are very considerate of etiquette and I follow suit so this hasn't been a problem for me on the course. But the local pro shop is another story. I can't pick a club up and try it out in there without the guy running the shop trying to give me a lesson. I guess in his defense that if he can fix my swing then I might buy the club because I hit it better. But it is very aggravating because the whole reason I'm trying out a new club to get a feel of it with my swing not a modified swing.

More likely he's just doing his job and trying to sell you on a few lessons.  Between the economy and e-commerce times are tough in golf course pro shops, these guys have to hustle to make a living and that means selling lessons.

[phan52]

Originally Posted by indyvai

I hate that guy too... My policy is advice only upon request, or if its a good friend and they usually appreciate me watching out for them.

I don't say anything to someone I don't know. But I will point out something I see to a friend or acquaintance at the 19th hole. Never during the round.

[mrwaltmitty]

I'm not qualified to give anyone advice. Plus if I am trying to take your money on the course why would I try to help you. Not a fan of that guy.

[Mr. Desmond]

I play with a client who does not know much about the golf swing and he is always giving unsolicited advice. He drives his partners ... nutz.

As for guys who can't play giving advice --- I don't care if you play well or not and you are asked to give advice ... it's about your eyes and the knowledge you hold.

As for me, I've learned to keep my mouth shut unless asked (97% of the time).