Your favorite -- or least favorite -- golf clichés

[Westopherr]

Some from my group of dumb friends:

hasselhoff - when in the bunker
Nice lay up - Topped driver
You going for it? - short par 3
little d*ck - a friend that refuses to use his driver even on wide open par 5s
big stick b*stard - someone that hits driver good all day

[2bGood]

'Be the club' Said when a shot is online and hit well...

[Golf'nBiker]

My new least liked saying...

'Excuse me Mr Jordan, this is a public course (which is NOT a public building or a private course) and you can't smoke cigars'.

Jaysus! The man is outside!!

[plugged]

"I figured out your problem in golf - its your loft."

"Oh, you mean I'm not getting it in the air enough?"

"No, your LOFT - your Lack Of F****** Talent!"

[Jay-Bird]

favorite:
After a horrible shot - "GO IN"

least favorite -
people who cuss themselves - or their ball - in very demeaning ways... makes me wonder if they're revealing deeply hidden secrets.

[iacas]

What about an iron that lands pin high then back spins off the green into a bunker?

That's not the same kind of "overspin" the guy meant. He meant overspin as "topspin."

[kennay92]

when the ball has landed on the green and is rolling and releasing but the person is still yelling "bite! bite!" like its obviously not going to check up nim-rod.. and also like someone said earlier when the ball is hard core slicing or hooking and someone is is yelling, "come back." its not a damn boomerang, its not going to majically spin back.

[Joeyvee]

When I know my putt is gonna be way too long, I sometime say... Hit a tree.

Thats a great one. I loled at work

[2bGood]

Some other favorites:

When a putt lips out or refuses to go in "I think that ball might be afraid of the dark"

After making a long putt "No need to call a plumber... because you just drained it!"

[right handed phil mickelson]

I don't like people who talk to thier ball after they hit it. "Bite!" "Sit!" "Be good" . .etc, etc. It's one thing to do it every once in a while when a shot is particulary close but it quickly gets annoying - especially when the shot has no chance.

I guess I'm not playing with you then? Everyone on my golf team has now made it a must when seeing me to say "SIT!" really fast. I played a practice round I guess, and on like 10 shots I said "sit......sit!.....SIT!". It's stuck ever since.

[Danny Noonan]

Keep it up, guys. I'm actually making notes here of things to say.

This may be one of the most worthy threads around here, ever.

- DN

[Bubba_13]

I clearly lifted my head on a shot and one of my playing partners tells me that I am playing 'Eskimo golf'. After asking him what 'Eskimo golf' is? He reply is...
Yeah, Eskimo Golf...you 'tookalook'.

'Whackf#@k' is a good one. After you hear the whack of the golf ball and it isn't a good shot it is usually followed up with the sound of ' F#@k '

[Dub]

I agree that this is a great thread.

I'm guilty of so many of these....especially saying not so nice things to my ball.

[kingofcars08]

A buddy of mine likes to say "hit puberty" when he hits a long putt that looks on line. I laughed pretty good when I heard him the first couple times.

[Phil McGleno]

A buddy of mine likes to say "hit puberty" when he hits a long putt that looks on line. I laughed pretty good when I heard him the first couple times.

I don't get it.

[kennay92]

I don't get it.

i get it.. its pretty stupid though..

[EZ Swinger]

I like it when someone leaves a putt short asking: Does your husband play? (Has to be a man of course). It usually draws a few giggles.

[Where's the Cart Girl?]

When I know my putt is gonna be way too long, I sometime say... Hit a tree.

I've heard this as "hit the pin!" But both are good.

I'm notorious for calling out "spin" when I hit a pitch too hard. It comes out involuntarily. I know as soon as I hit it what spin I'm going to get but for some reason I say it anyway sometimes. Anyway, playing the other day someone hit a putt too hard and called out "spin" to make a dick out of me after I did it on my pitch. I had to laugh there. I suspect I haven't heard the last of that one.